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The wind blew into the darkened room, lit only by the strands of moonlight falling through the open window. The air was cold, and he was awakened by the chill. Wearily his electric green eyes flickered open and it took a moment to adjust in the darkness. Besides him he could feel the warm body of the Turk cuddled against him. With a deep sigh, Sephiroth slid out of bed and got to his feet, pausing to steal a glance of his lover, peacefully asleep, his long black hair spread casually around him. Tseng was so beautiful, and yet, Sephiroth found he could not love the young Turk. It was true that he cared deeply for him, but what he felt in his heart did not and could not match what he still felt for the Turk that was only a memory. The Turk who was Vincent Valentine.
Some say
love, it is a razor
That
leaves your soul to bleed
Sephiroth went to the window, ignoring the feel of the air, like a thousand needles pricking his skin. He ignored the wind as it whipped teasingly through his silver hair. Instead he griped the sill, eyes falling shut as his mind wandered. It hurts so much to love you, Vincent. Every night I have to deal with the fact that you're gone, and god only knows when I see you again. But even though it hurts--hurts more than tears can express, I'll hang on for you. I'll love you. I'll love you if it kills me.
Some say
love, it is a hunger
An endless
aching need
My whole body hurts. I ache for you, my love. Vincent.... Do you think of me? Wherever you may be, do I ever cross your mind anymore? I hope you haven't forgotten me.... I don't think you have... As I can never forget you... Not even if my memory was purged. My heart could never forget you. Not when you've given me so much. You gave me everything you had Vincent. And I would give you everything in return...even my life...just if I could see you again.
I say
love, it is a flower
And you
it's only seed
Sephiroth sighed as he brushed some hair back away from his face. Even though the room was cold now, he kept the window open. The sky was clear, and the stars were out. Even though basically everything reminded him of Vincent in one way or another, for some reason starry nights like this always brought him the happiest memories. Maybe because they used to gaze up at the sky on nights like this, cuddled together for warmth.
You were the only person I ever loved, Vincent...and the only person I ever *could* love. There's no more room in my heart to love another. Only you, Vincent. The love in my heart grew for you, and it shall remain only for you.
It's the
heart afraid of breaking
That
never learns to dance
He shivered, the cold finally getting to him. Slowly he closed the window, so not to disturb Tseng. But he lingered for a moment more, eyes focused on a single star in the sky. Vincent....sometimes....sometimes I wish I could love another person. That way such a big part of me wouldn't be missing. That way I could be whole.
Sephiroth laughed quietly at himself. Who am I kidding? Replace you? I would sooner die. It cannot be done. You are the only one who completes me, my love. My heart is crying for you. Can you hear it? It's breaking because I miss you so much. I do care for Tseng very deeply, but I cannot love him. I've none left to give. I gave it all to you. Now what am I to do but wait... Wait for you... No matter how long it takes. We said for all eternity and beyond. And Forever and beyond is what it shall be.
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
Vincent stirred in his coffin, mind hazy from his most recent nightmare.
Hojo. They were always about Hojo.
Sephiroth....if he hurts you, I swear... He promised he wouldn't, and I will never believe him, but I hope... I hang on to the hope that maybe he is telling the truth... I will buy any of his lies to protect you, angel. Anything. Just so you wouldn't feel any more pain...
He sighed, running a hand over his damp face. That was a particulary bad one. I cannot save you now, angel. But my soul is with you. In my dreams... In my nightmares I can never get to you.... Just like in this reality. Sometimes it is a blurry line between which is worse...
It's the
one who won't be taken
Who cannot
seem to give
I know not what has become of you, my Sephiroth. And I know you do not know what has become of me. I am guessing you think I am dead. In many ways I am dead, my angel. My love for you is what keeps me alive. It is all I can continue to give you. Even though I cannot be with you, my heart beats with yours, just as if we were together.
His claw spasmed, the metal clicking together. It brought Vincent out of the trance of his own mind for a moment, and he clenched it, exercising the metal fingers with a sad sigh. I have changed very much, my angel. I doubt you would even recognize me now. I am a changed man...not only physically, but emotionally. I have many sins. Sins you have no knowledge of. I sometimes wonder if you would still love me if you knew of my past... If you knew all that I had done....
Vincent cut off his own thoughts and he opened up his coffin, gasping and choking for air. He coughed, feeling suddenly nauceous. The thought, the very *notion* that Sephiroth didn't love him anymore made him feel violently ill. His mind was often currupted by such ideas recently. Every time he would feel as though his whole soul was being wrenched violently from his body.
And then it would stop.
His coughing ceased, and he took deep breaths to calm his frayed nerves. He loves me...He does... I don't doubt it. We said for all eternity and beyond. And that's what it shall be.
And the
soul afraid of dying
That
never learns to live
You keep me alive, angel. Every thought of you keeps my heart beating. There is no other reason to keep myself alive, other than the fact that if I live, there is a chance I will see you again. And I will be able to hold you in my arms and never *ever* let go again. The fates themselves could not tear us apart then, my angel.
But it is so hard sometimes...so hard to keep myself alive lying here in this coffin. How long can I keep this fire burning? How much longer before I lose this fight, and it swallows me whole, putting this fire out? I won't let it happen. I'll fight to keep this part of me alive. I'll fight for you, my angel. Just as I always have.
When the
night has been too lonely
And the
road his been too long
He eased himself back into the prison of his coffin, laying down with a sigh. Memories are sometimes not enough to compensate for lack of company, he thought wearily, and I am very lonely. Very lonely without you by my side, angel. I miss your kisses, I miss listening to breathe as you sleep at night, but most of all I miss your intoxicating green eyes. No matter how posioned they were you managed to rise above all that was currputed about you, angel. And you will probably never know what was done to you. That is why I sleep. Because I never could tell you.
And you
think that love is only
For the
lucky and the strong
It is a very hard thing, angel. A very hard thing to love someone that has disappeared from your life without a trace. But we did not find one another through any forms of luck. Neither of us has ever considered ourselves lucky. We found each other through strength. The strength to create better lives for ourselves. And maybe we can still do that, tenshi. If we stay strong. If despite this situation we can still love each other.
Vincent felt a single tear slip down his cheek as he closed his coffin. It had been so long since he cried... Tears seemed somewhat foreign to him now. He let them come, and he cried silently, weeping for the past. Sephiroth....my winged angel...I love you. Don't forget me.
Just remember
in the winter
Far beneath
the winter snows
A light snow was beginning to coat the scenery as Sephiroth finally turned away from the window. Someday, Vincent. I am always waiting.
Tseng stirred slightly, waking as Sephiroth climbed back into bed. He sat up, leaning back on his elbows as he gazed sleepily at his koi. "Sephiroth? Is something the matter?"
"No," Sephiroth said coldly, sliding his arms about the Turk's waist. "It's nothing." His lips brushed the younger man's forehead. "Go back to sleep."
"You...you have tears in your eyes," the Turk looked concerned as he caressed Sephiroth's pale cheek with the back of his hand.
Sephiroth held a finger to Tseng's lips with a low hiss. "Shush, little one. Come here." Holding him close he lay down again, holding the young man tightly against him. I love you always, my Vincent. Hai. Zutto.
"It's snowing, isn't it?" Tseng said quietly. "You shut the window."
The older man sighed, electric green eyes falling shut. "Yes. And I don't know when it will stop."
Lies the seed that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose
~Owari~
Translation:
ai----love
koi-------lover
tenshi-------angel
hai-------------yes
zutto-------------always
(good
to know my Japanese class is good for something)