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Interlude III

    He smoked whenever he was nervous. This was a feeling he was becoming more and more accustomed to, especially since five years had past since this had all started. For five years he fell further into a pit of growing depression, uncertainty and constant nervousness.

    Scarlet held nothing for him anymore. True, he still spent many nights in her bed, but only to work off the stress mounted on his back. He who had once been her toy refused to act as that any longer.

    Tseng had kept his promise and not breathed a word of his feelings for his closest friend. Most of the time Reeve forgot, mostly because he was too preoccupied with living with himself. For four years now Tseng had been head of the Turks organization, training his recruits, Reno and Rude, two orphans picked off the streets of Midgar. They were eighteen now, and extraordinary Turks, even if they had rambunctious streaks. Reeve had befriended them both, but Tseng remained his closest friend in the world. Some part of him wanted to be closer. Sometimes he would call early in the morning and her Sephiroth's deep voice in the background. It hurt him some when he realized the two still wound up in bed together from time to time. But that was just another emotion he put aside.

    Reeve massaged his temples, trying to get his headache to go away. He was cranky and out of cigarettes. And this morning he was dismayed as the Mako rates were hiked up once *again*.

    "That's the second time this year," he protested, struggling against banging his fist on the table top. "I hate to admit it, sir, but you are losing the people's confidence."

    The President laughed at him. "Reeve, I fear you are still too young to understand. If we have more money the profits can benefit the people when we carry out our projects."

    "Young, sir?" He challenged. "I'm twenty-nine years old!"

    "You're young," Heidegger had snapped at him. "You've been with us only twelve years and are the youngest executive in the company. If I were you, I would trust our judgment."

    Scarlet, who used to always rush to his defense, said not a word and picked some lint off her dress.

    Reeve scowled. /Oh, and I suppose twelve years is nothing. I only built your god damn city and you ungrateful bastards. And what did you do with it? You trashed it. You warped it out of my wildest imagination and don't even have the guts to tell me about it.'/

    "The new money will benefit the army and the weapons department," the President had announced.

    Palmer piped up with a question about the space program.

    "We'll look into it," Shinra said in what was nearly disgust.

    Reeve clenched his fists until his knuckles were white. They were liars. /As much as I dislike Palmer, they lie to him just like they lie to me. Won't he ever realize it?/

    "All for the rise in Mako prices?"

    Everyone but Reeve.

    "All against?"

    Just Reeve.

    "Big surprise there," Scarlet quipped.

    "Shouldn't we consult the mayor?" The young man offered weakly in a last ditch effort. He watched sorrowfully as everyone else prepared to leave.

    "We can tell him when it's over and done with," Heidegger said with another deep chuckle. "It's not like he has any power anyway."

    Tseng had to listen to him bitch over lunch.

    "We own everything. *Everything*!" He leaned towards his friend, voice dark. "This is dangerous, Tseng. We have too much power. Doesn't it scare you?"

    The Turk was silent a moment, clearly in thought. "A little bit, perhaps."

    "A little bit!" he exclaimed in shock, "what the fuck is wrong with you?!"

    Tseng blinked in shock at his friend's crass words. "Well, Reeve, although I find the power alarming, I remind you that my life is here. They saved me from certain death. I'm grateful. I'll do anything that is asked of me."

    Reeve groaned, trying to forget the day's events. This is what the world is now. Shinra, Mako and Midgar. I created a third of that monopoly. It doesn't matter what I do now. The greatest damage....it has already been done.

    "You're such a baby," she sighed, examining her newly manicured nails.

    Reeve panted as he wiped at the blood on his chest. This had been happening far more often lately. Scarlet had always been a rough lover, but now she was just painful. As it was Reeve was over stressed. The last thing he needed was to deal with her abuse. He dealt with enough of that at work. "Maybe if you paid attention to what the fuck you were *doing*, I wouldn't come away bruised or bleeding every time!"

    Her head snapped in his direction, ice blue eyes narrowing. "If you don't like it, no one is forcing you to stay."

    He mirrored her glare. "You know what? I *don't* like it. In fact," he reached for his clothes and began dressing. "I'm sick of this shit. It's over Scarlet. Find some other toy to play with. I'm threw with you."

    "Bastard!" she screeched, throwing a pillow at his head. "I never should have wasted my time on you in the first place! Especially when I found out you're friends with that fucking fag Tseng."

    Something exploded inside of Reeve and he lost control of his anger. In a fit of rage he swooped down, picked one of Scarlet's spike heels off the ground and threw it hard at the opposite wall. "You god damn whore!" he roared. "I never want to hear you call him that again!"

    "Get out! Get the fuck out!"

    "My pleasure!" Reeve slammed the door as he left, and he didn't look back.

    Reeve nodded. "Big time. I don't ever remember being that mad. Then when she had the nerve to insult you--that's when I really lost it."

    The younger man's eyes widened. "You defended me?"

    "Would you expect any less?"

    The Turk looked away. "I'm glad you're rid of her."

    "You and I both," the older man sighed, leaning back slightly. "She only left me sore."

    "Other than that, how are you, Reeve?" Tseng sounded genuinely concerned. "You've been under a lot of stress lately. Have you been eating right? Sleeping well?"

    The older man turned to look out the window. The truth was he really hadn't been. His appetite had been poor, his sleep uneven. He had even turned to pills. "I've been fine."

    Tseng frowned and went to speak again, but a shrill alarm startled them both.

    "What's that?!" Reeve and Tseng were on their feet in moments. "Tseng, what's that?"

    The color from the Turk's face had drained. "That's the bomb alarm. There must be a bomb in the building."

    "A bomb?!" Reeve yelled, trying to be heard over the alarm. "A terrorist bomb?!"

    "Under the desk," Tseng said calmly. "Standard procedure."

    The two men crawled under the desk. It was a tight squeeze but they knelt side by side, shoulder to shoulder.

    "Is it a drill?"

    "Drills are announced." The young man's voice was shaking.

    "Tseng?" Reeve looked over at his friend.

    "Fuck," cursed Tseng, wiping away tears. "I'm such a coward."

    Reeve was scared too, but he hid it perfectly. "Everything will be fine. Just fine." If this all blows up and goes to hell, I won't be the least bit sorry.

    The alarm continued and Tseng continued weeping.

    "Tseng!" Reeve couldn't even look at him for fear he would lose it too. He was already shaking and the hysterics were only making it worse.

    "I'm going to die. I'm going to die and all I ever did was kill for a living!" He hung his head.

    The older man slid an arm over Tseng's shoulders. "We're not going to die," Reeve said. Only he wasn't sure.

    Tseng covered his face as he cried. "The flames! Oh god, just don't let me see the flames!"

    He's thinking about the fire....about he lost his family. I have to calm him somehow. "Tseng! Tseng!" he ordered, shaking the other man's shoulders. "Tseng, look at me!"

    He did, eyes red and wet. "Reeve, just don't forget I---"

    The young man was cut off as his lips were seized by Reeve's in a forceful but passionate kiss. The Turk moaned in surprise but happily returned it, shutting out the world around them as his eyes closed.

    Reeve's mind was blank. He kissed his friend insistently, eyes squeezed shut. He had thought of this as only a way to calm down his hysterical friend, but now it seemed so right, as though he always wanted to do this....

    Their tongues slipped past one another, stroking one another. The alarm's were blaring around them, but both men had forgotten all their worries and fears as they continued their kiss.

    And it might have gone on indefinitely had the alarms not suddenly ceased.

    Reeve broke away and turned his head, mind at war. What the hell was I thinking?

    "Attention employees." The President's voice could be heard over the loudspeaker. "We received word of a terrorist bomb in the building, but it was only a false alarm. I offer my apologizes." The connection was terminated.

    The two friends climbed back to their feet, brushing off their suits.

    An awkward silence passed between them and Reeve refused to make eye contact.

    "Reeve," Tseng began. "I--"

    "Look," Reeve snapped, eyes flashing. "I only did it to calm you down. You were hysterical. It was for your own good."

    Tseng began, "I never said----"

    "I'd never kiss another man," he continued firmly. "Not in a million years."

    "You don't have to make a big deal about it."

    "I'm straight!" he yelled, trying to convince himself more than anyone else. "Everybody knows that!"

    Tseng looked shocked and hurt. "I know that, Reeve. No one said you weren't."

    Reeve turned away, clenching his fists. "Look, I don't want to see you for awhile." His voice soften considerably.

    "All right, Reeve," the Turk answered gently, leaving the office. He paused at the door to whisper, "thank you" before stepping out.

    Once he was alone, Reeve was overwhelmed with fear. Why did I enjoy that kiss so much? And why was there a terrorist bomb in the building?

    The dark realization set in as he sunk into his chair. A terrorist bomb can only mean one thing: the people hate Shinra. They are unhappy under Shinra, and they are unhappy in Midgar.

    Shinra's evil, he realized slowly. "Evil," he whispered, the word sounding foreign to him. "We're terrible people. All of us. We're ruining the lives of others for financial gain. We don't care. We don't give a fuck about anyone but ourselves." He put a hand to his head, still terribly shaken by his discovery. "I....I'm one of them. I'm one of the terrible people too."

    The door opened without a knock and his head jerked in that direction. "Scarlet?"

    She shut the door and locked it. "Reeve, I think we need to talk."

    "I have no desire to talk to you," he said coldly.

    "If you wish to keep your job, I suggest you don't reject me." Her eyes narrowed.

    He froze. "What the hell does that mean?"

    She came to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Heidegger tried to get your fired once...it was several years ago. He said you tried to attack him." She met his eyes. "It was my input that saved your job."

    "So? That was years ago. What do you want now?"

    She loosened his tie and said, "one last hurrah as a thank you."

    "You horny bitch." He pressed his lips together. "And if I don't?"

    "You're history."

    He swallowed, sweat forming on the back of his neck. He wanted so badly to push her away, tell to to go screw herself and go home to Kalm. But for some reason, as much as he did not want her, he felt he couldn't say no. That maybe, as long as his family was safe and he had them to lean on... If only to prove he hadn't made a mistake...

    No. He couldn't let his father be right. "After this, I never want you to come to me like this again."

    She kissed him. "Very well."

    Reeve hated to admit he would have rather been kissing Tseng.

    But it wasn't just the remnants of Scarlet he was trying to wash down the drain. It was the guilt that had settled on his body like a coat of grime. But no matter how much he scrubbed, he simply wouldn't come clean.

    Reeve stumbled out of the shower, a bit dizzy from the steam. The PHS was ringing and he hoped it wasn't Tseng.

    "Hello?"

    "I hope you're still proud of yourself."

    Reeve furrowed his brow. "Who is this?"

    "I'm  not surprised you don't remember your own father's voice."

    He nearly dropped the PHS in shock. "Father?"

    "I thought you should know. We can't stay in Kalm any more, Reeve."

    His heart ceased beating and he felt his stomach clench. His response was practically a whisper. "Why?"

    There was a hesitation on the other end, as if he didn't want to break the news. "....the planet is dying, Reeve. Midgar is killing it. It has made the land desolate."

    "It has not!" Reeve defended himself like a little kid would.

    "--and everyone is fleeing Kalm to move elsewhere."

    Reeve swayed, feeling even more dizzy than he previously had. He gripped a nearby chair and hung on for life. "No!" he cried, hoping it was all just one big joke. This couldn't be happening to him. This was everything he had seen in his most terrifying nightmare.

    "There's no more business to be done, Reeve. We're selling the store..."

    "NO!" Reeve cried out in a fit of rage. He was angry, angry at his father for moving and angry at himself for constructing the cause of it. "You can't, dad! That store has been in our family for ages!"

    ".........................."

    "DAD!!!" he pleaded, tears welling up in his eyes. "You can't! Don't sell the store, please! I'll fix it! I'll make it better! I promise!"

    "It's too late, Reeve." His father's voice was a cold as always, purged of emotion. "You've killed our legacy with your childish dreams. I hope you're still proud."

    Tears began rolling from his eyes, flowing briskly over his damp skin. "Father.... I'm so sorry... I never thought--"

    "Sorry doesn't cut it, Reeve." His father's voice snapped. "You've disgraced our family with your creation. And what's worse, what's *so* much worse is that you gave it your mother's name. She gave you life, Reeve, and you attached it to something that brings so many people suffering."

    The stream of tears was never ending as he hid the sobs from his voice. "I didn't know....I didn't know..."

    "You're not my son." Each word was a punch in the stomach. "So enjoy this life you dreamed of. You've disowned your family so enjoy it on your own."

    "I didn't mean it..." the sobs over took his voice, and he sunk to the floor. "I don't want this to happen..." he choked on his own tears. "Father....please...I love you....please..."

    "Good-bye."

    The dial tone was all that was left of his father.

    He disowned me.... The tears kept rushing down his face. My family... They're gone... And all I ever wanted to do was make them proud.

    Even though he hadn't eaten anything all day, Reeve somehow managed to vomit.

    His mind was blank. Reeve stared down from his office window onto the city he had created. He was the one who dreamed the one who had overseen it's construction, but now there was nothing more for him to do but watch it all crumble, watch it eat away the planet and destroy lives. His one dream had done nothing but bring others pain. The poor people of the slums who struggled in the darkness to live another day, and the innocent citizens of Kalm, his own town, who had their lives shattered by the presence of this virus called Midgar. But they were not the only one's suffering. Everyone suffered under Shinra and Reeve was suffering because he was the one who had started it all. All the misery had come from him and his dream of steel, concrete and Mako.

    "...We can't stay in Kalm any more, Reeve."

      "Why?"

    "....the planet is dying, Reeve. Midgar is killing it. It has made the land desolate."

    "It has not!"

    "--and everyone is fleeing Kalm to move elsewhere."

    "No!"

    "There's no more business to be done, Reeve. We're selling the store..."

    Reeve got the same sinking feeling as he had the first time he heard those words. Over and over he replayed them in his mind, futilely trying to convince himself it wasn't his fault. But it was. As he glanced out into never ending night, with the blinding spotlights flashing back and forth the only light, Reeve nearly died as he realized this had never been a dream. It had always been destined to become a nightmare, and no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, there was no escape. None. He should have never dreamed of more than that tiny materia shop in Kalm. Never.

    His knees grew weak and he gripped the window will, glancing down to stop his own tears.

    Scarlet's words rang through his head: "If you wish to keep your job, I suggest you don't reject me." To think he had sunk so low for so long. And for this. For this feeling that he was better off dead. For this feeling that nobody cared. For this feeling of entrapment. Too many horrible sensations swept through his veins and Reeve's hand shook, trying to keep himself on his feet. He lost, and sank to his knees, cheek against the cool wall as he cried. His family had given up all they had and moved because of him. He had spent years in the bed of woman he despised to achieve the distinction of being the true cause of planet wide destruction. If only Midgar had never been built.... Then maybe someone would still love him. Oh mother....do you hate me? Look what I have attached your beautiful name to. Reeve kneeled against the wall, letting out all the pain in hysterical tears. There was nothing but loneliness for a man who destroyed so much.

    He was so wrapped up in a web of his own self pity that Reeve did not notice the door open.

    "Reeve?" Tseng was shocked. The door slammed shut. "Reeve!" the Turk was at his side instantly. "Reeve, what's the matter?! Why are you crying?!"

    "I'm so sorry...." Reeve leaned into his friend's arms, and Tseng took him close, cradling the sobbing man like one would a baby. "Tseng," the older man choked out behind his tears, "I've destroyed everything."

    "What?"

    "This is it," Reeve continued, "there's no one left. I *built* this city, Tseng. It was my dream...but it became everyone else's nightmare, even mine." He paused a moment, then continued behind more sobs, "I'm so alone...."

    Tseng brushed some hair away from his friend's eyes, red with crying. "No, Reeve. That's not true." He leaned closer. "I'm here....and I love you."

    Reeve bent his head back and let Tseng kiss him.

    It was a quick brush of the lips, but it was enough to send a wave of electricity through Reeve's trembling body. The fact that it was another man didn't bother him the least. In his state, he was so forlorn and so lonely and most of all so guilt ridden. Tseng's words suddenly made his life worth living again.

    "Tseng...." he breathed, quickly closing his eyes and graciously receiving another sweet kiss. "Thank you."

    "Don't ever let yourself get this way, Reeve," said the Turk firmly. "You don't hold all the blame. It's everyone who works for this company. We are responsible for the suffering that occurs as a result of our actions. You may have built this city, but it wasn't your idea to construct it in the first place." He rained a few kisses over his forehead. "You're not evil, Reeve. No more than I am. I love you so much..."

    Reeve knew he was right. It wasn't just him, but he still couldn't ignore the pangs of guilt all together. He never would be able to. "Maybe....maybe I should quit...."

    "No," Tseng replied. "If you quit Shinra you'll never find another job. They control...everything."

    Reeve sighed. He just couldn't win. He needed to make a living no matter the price it took on his conscience. Besides, it was just as though Tseng had once said. He was the only one looking out for the people in Midgar. He couldn't let them down more than he had already. "Tseng...you disapprove of Shinra?"

    There was a moment of silence before the Turk finally replied, "Reeve, I took two vows when I became a Turk. One was a vow of loyalty, the other a vow of silence. I've done many things I'm not proud of, but I haven't got a choice. I signed my life and soul away to Shinra. It was the price I paid to live again. I'm trapped. We all are."

    Reeve drew a shaky breath. "Tseng? Can you do me a favor?"

    "Anything for you, my love." He smiled slightly.

    The older man hesitated. "....Will you stay with me tonight?...and hold me please? I need to know there's someone who cares. Someone like me."

    Tseng held Reeve closer. "Shinra may have my soul, my mind and my sense of decency even, but it will never have my heart." He paused. "I give that to you to hold for me, Reeve. You have to protect it. Sometimes it will seem as though I don't have one. And you must remember that it is always with you."

    "Yes," Reeve agreed, cuddling as close as possible to his friend. "This company has everything....except what matters most."

    The Turk gently caressed the older man's cheek, wiping away his tears. "I'll hold you, Reeve. Gladly. As long as you want me to."

    Reeve reached up, running a hand through his friend's long black silky hair, letting it run through his fingers like water. "Yes. Please. Don't let me go."

    Tseng shook his head, gazing into Reeve's dark green eyes. "Iie. Kesshite."

    And so after that day Reeve and Tseng became far more than friends. At least in a physical sense. At first Reeve tried to convince himself he was distraught and that was the reason he had turned to the arms of another man. As time wore on, however, Reeve came to the starting realization that he did love Tseng as more than a friend, as more then someone to lean on and cry to. He loved another man like he was supposed to love a woman.

    And it terrified him.

    He kept his feelings hidden, at least in words. Every gesture screamed his burning affection, but the Turk hadn't any idea. It hurt Reeve to know  he only hurt Tseng by hiding like this. He felt like a coward. But, he told himself,  he knows I'm straight. Part of me still is. He shouldn't be sad.

    In many ways he was much better than he had been that night he collapsed in Tseng's arms sobbing and begging to be kissed. He knew he wasn't alone. After all, each and every night he fell asleep comfortably in the arms of his best friend, held close enough to hear his heart beat, close enough to feel his breath, and close enough to know he was loved unconditionally, no matter the circumstances.

    But he was still miserable as a sitting duck at Shinra, unable to do much of anything and unable to tell the person he cared for the most in the world of his feelings, and just how deep they were.

    Tseng was troubled as well. Sometimes he would come home to find the Turk curled in the fetal position, crying hysterical tears. The scary part was that Reeve would never be able to shake a straight answer from him. He avoided every question with the same excuse of how he just had a bad day, or how Heidegger or the President was on his case again. Reeve didn't believe a word of it.

    Sephiroth was dead. He had died five years ago, only a year after  Reeve and Tseng changed the status of their relationship. The news had devastated Tseng, who cried for days afterwards,  especially since he had been assigned to work on the project.

    Yes, the Nibelheim project. The very name of it still sent shivers down Reeve's spine. He had headed it with Hojo, a name he never wanted to see his attached to. Tseng had been there as well, as had Reno. The four of them had put up with Hojo's twisted experiments and all the other horrible things that involved forever damning their names. He refused to account his experience to anyway. What was done was done, and he couldn't take it up. He hadn't wanted to do it. Not at all. There he was ruining more lives. As if Midgar wasn't enough. Sometimes he still woke up screaming about it. Tseng never mentioned it either. They both tried to forget that it ever happened. Like that was actually possible.

    But it had been five years since that had ended, and six since the two began sharing a bed.  It was two A.M. Reeve was home. Tseng wasn't.

    Where is he? Reeve thought nervously as he smoked his third cigarette. It's not like him to be late. Usually he's home before I am. He hasn't even called... The worst scenarios began flashing through his head. What if he was killed in battle? Would Shinra tell if he was? They didn't ever seem to like to inform him of anything.

    Just as he was about to pick up the PHS and dial  security, or someone who might know something, the door opened and Tseng entered.

    His hands were covered in blood.

    Reeve couldn't even move as he watched in horror, heart in his throat. Oh shit... Is that *his* blood...?

    The Turk didn't even look at Reeve. He simply went into the bathroom, washed his hands as though he was washing away dirt and not a vital body fluid. Then he shut the door to the bathroom and locked it.

    Then Reeve could hear him crying. "Aw, shit..." he muttered, finally coming to life as he made a beeline for the bathroom door. "Tseng!" he called, banging insistently upon it. "Tseng! What's wrong?! Let me in!" He pounded harder.

    He heard the choked sobs of his friend as the shower water was turned on.

    The older man clenched his fist and pounded with all his might upon the barrier Tseng had put between them. "Tseng! I'm serious! Open this door right now or I'll fucking break it down!" He was desperate to get in there. "Tseng!" he kicked the door before resuming the pounding. "NOW!"

    Reeve heard the tiny click of the door unlocking and the next moment he barged in, looking around frantically,.

    Tseng stood by the shower, striped to the waist, chin trembling and holding out his hands like a beggar. "Reeve...." he stumbled forward and Reeve caught him in his arms, holding him close.

    "Oh my god... Oh my god, Tseng. What happened? What happened?" He held his friend close, stoking his hair slowly.

    "I..." Tseng choked out,  overcome with tears as he held onto Reeve like he was just saved from drowning. "Reeve... I... I... I didn't want to do it! I didn't have a choice!"

    "Shush...." Reeve hushed, taking the younger man's pale, tear stained face in his hands and lifting it so their eyes met.  "Tseng.... My dear, dear friend.... What did you do?"

    "I... I killed someone.... I broke their neck...." he spoke slowly, his whole form trembling. "There was blood everywhere, Reeve.... And this... And this... Oh gods, Reeve, it was a child."

    Reeve swayed as his heart ceased to beat. Tseng's words seemed distant in his ears. He didn't ask why. He didn't ask why his friend was made to kill a child. It didn't matter. A child was a child. He couldn't say anything.

    "Why?" Tseng asked, pleading with Reeve as if he had the answers. "Why is it that by giving me my life I have to take others? Is this the price I paid to live again?  To take others in exchange? Is it worth it? " He cupped his friend's face in his hands and brought their faces so close together their lips were nearly touching. "Reeve..." he whispered, breath brushing the other man's lips. "I would never turn down this job if I had to do it all over again, Reeve. But I sometimes wish that I had never made it far enough to make that decision. I wish I had died in that fire with my family so that no one else would have to die because I killed them-- because someone else told me to take their life away just because they had saved mine.  I almost wish someone would break my neck... Just like I did to that poor child..."

    Reeve felt tears escape his eyes and fall silently down the curves of his face. He looked his friend straight in his eyes but said nothing. He found he could barely breathe.

    "Reeve..." the Turk went on, his voice small and breathy. "I just want to wash it all away... Wash away the guilt. But I can't. Do you see the price I have had to pay to live?  I've killed more people than I can count without so much as a second thought at the time. And I taught others to do the same thing. I taught two perfectly innocent kids with good souls how to kill. And you know what? I would do it again. I would do it over a million times if I was in that position again. I don't regret it. I just wish I could have died before that... So I wouldn't have had to come here and do this to myself. So I wouldn't have to live like this with all this guilt. That is why I am a bad person. Why *I* am a bad person, and why  you aren't."

    Reeve was still crying as he finally reacted, bringing Tseng's forehead against his. "You taught them like you were taught, Tseng. Just as Sephiroth taught you. And just as someone before him taught him. It's all part of the system... All part of this horrible, horrible system we're trapped into. There are those of us who want this, and those of us who have no choice." He used his thumbs to clear away his friend's tears. "Tseng, I know you did bad things, but please don't wish you were dead. *Please*.  I don't blame you for taking this job, and I don't blame you for you loyalty. It was the position you were in. We were all desperate. And we still are." He kissed him gently, letting their lips barely touch. "Please... It's hard...but...but try not to think about it."

    "Ah... Reeve...." Tseng was still crying as he kissed Reeve gently and sweetly, letting his lips linger. "I love you.... I love you more than words can describe." Again his lips captured his friends slowly, lingering as a soft moan escaped his lips.

    The older man pulled the Turk close so their bodies were fitted together. More than words can describe.... And still you manage to tell me. I can't even do that much. He kissed back, brushing his lips against his love's with the whispered words, "Jes vous aime."

    Tseng moaned as he drew away from the kiss. "Reeve.... What does that mean?"

    "Nothing." I'm too much of a coward to admit it means I love you.

     Reeve leaned forward and kissed Tseng insistently, easily parting the other man's lips and sliding his tongue into his friend's mouth, probing forcefully.

    Tseng yielded as he always did, back up against the headboard, hands on Reeve's shoulders as he whimpered, drawing his lover closer.

    The older man straddled him, kissing the Turk roughly as he ran his hands through strands of long, black hair. Tseng, I...
As the kiss broke, the applied another brief kiss to the other man's lips before straying downwards, sucking down the front of that pale, slender neck.

    The young man bent his head back, gasping and whimpering as Reeve continued his ministrations, moaning softly as he did so. Tseng rested a hand on the back of the other man's head, gently encouraging him to continue. "Yes, Reeve.... Oh, yes... Just like that... Ah, how I love you..."

    Tseng, I.. I just want... Reeve slid his hands down his friend's lean, muscular frame, as he ravenously kissed and sucked at the Turk's skin. I can't have enough of you.

    A shuddered breath left Tseng as he felt Reeve's hand stroke him intimately. "Oh... Oh please, Reeve. Please, I..." He arched up to that touch, panting at the excitement of it.

    Reeve stroked a bit harder, lifting his lips from Tseng's skin and meeting his eyes for a long moment. Oh, Tseng. My love. I want it so much. But I can't have it. I can't bring myself to ask your permission... "Mon amour," Reeve sighed, taking the other man's lips again.

    As they drew apart, Tseng commented, "I wonder if you'll ever explain these words I don't understand."

    Again Reeve kissed him, hard and deep, just to shut him up. Before I say something stupid... Mon amour.. My love...

    The Turk moaned loudly, wrapping his arms around Reeve and pulling the other man against him.

    Reeve's lips continued glazing over that skin, traveling rapidly, trying to take as much of him at once, muttering love words in French. "'Bien aim...." Beloved... "Beau amour..." Beautiful love. "Tout le temps..." Forever. "Amante..." Lover. "Ma vie." My life."Vous êtes les miens." You are mine."Je veux être à l'intérieur vous." I want to be inside you.

    "Ah...." gasped Tseng, breathing shallowly from the back of his throat. "Will I ever know what you're saying, Reeve?"

     He claimed his friend's lips with a burning passion. "Jamais."

    Never.

    And although he was worried, deep in his heart Reeve felt that he just didn't want to know. He badly wanted to protect Midgar, but a part of him was so terrified of being hurt further that he backed off, retreating into his shell and trying to pretend he didn't work for Shinra, and that he had nothing to worry about because he never did anything wrong. He was such a liar. All he did was lie to himself and pretend he was fine. It made him hate himself all the more, but he kept quiet about it.

    And days went on.

    Reeve sucked gently at Tseng's neck as they sat in bed. The Turk had his head bent back to let Reeve do as he wished, but otherwise he was emotionless and silent, which were two characteristics Tseng had never displayed under the other man's affections before.

     Finally, concerned at the lack of response, Reeve broke off his worship and looked at his friend with a furrowed brow. "Tseng... Is something the matter?"

    The younger man kept his face pointed towards the ceiling as he remained wordless.

    "Tseng," Reeve demanded, growing impatient. He seized his friend's chin in his hand and jerked down so that they were eye to eye. Reeve almost gasped as he met the Turk's eyes. They were cold and hard, the mask he hid behind when he was on duty. Tseng had never kept that facade up longer than he had to, especially when he was with Reeve. "What the hell's the matter?"

    "How can you even touch me?" Tseng practically snarled, shoving Reeve away from him and sliding away from him.

    The older man's jaw fell open and he stared in disbelief. What was with this sudden behavior, it was almost as though Tseng had brought his work home with him, something he had never done before. "What do you mean?"

    Black eyes still emotionless, the Turk turned his head and said coldly, "How can you touch me, Reeve? I'm not even human."

    Reeve moved closer. "What the hell are you talking about?"

    Tseng got out of bed and stood, proclaiming, "I'm not even human, Reeve. It never sunk in before now. When I joined the Turks, they told me that I was a Turk now and not to forget it. When I taught Reno and Rude I told them the same thing. I didn't give a second thought to what I was telling them, and I bet they don't even realize it." Suddenly there were tears in his eyes as his mask slipped away. He pointed at himself as he continued. "I am not human anymore, Reeve. I'm a Turk. I'm a murderer, and a sneak and a liar and a kidnapper. I don't *deserve* to be called human anymore. I have to use the name Shinra gave me. I'm a Turk." He let out a choked sob and a hand over his mouth for a moment. A second later, he took it away, eyes growing red as he tried to hold back the building tears. "And I can't forget it."

    "Shit..." Reeve hissed, scrambling to his feet and taking the younger man firmly in his arms. Tseng sobbed into his shoulder. "Tseng... Tseng... Please..." He rocked him gently, cupping the back of his friend's head in his hand. "If you weren't human you wouldn't be able to cry."

    The Turk broke away a little, tears still streaming over his pale face as he gently took the older man's face in his hands, smoothing it with his thumbs. "That's just it, Reeve. I'm not supposed to. They told me Turks don't cry. That they're not supposed to feel sorry and are to act as they are told. But Sephiroth told me different. He said that I should cry all I want to, because it is part of our humanity. You see, Reeve? You see? He knew what I was." Shaking his head he added sadly, "but it didn't matter what he said. Every time I cry I feel ashamed nonetheless. I feel ashamed because I can't stop crying and Shinra told me not to. They saved my life, and I can't follow every order."

    Reeve looked back at him, mind void of words. He couldn't think of anything to say in reply to that, and he felt like a fool. "Tseng... I... I..."

    "That's why..." Tseng whispered, stepping away from Reeve. "That's why I don't deserve you." He turned his back to his friend.

    Reeve stood where he was was, fist clenched in the frustration of not being able to comfort his dearest friend. "Tseng, I..." He moved quickly, grabbing his friend around the waist and holding him tight, resting his cheek on his back. "Please, Tseng!" He cried tears of his own. "Please don't talk like that anymore! I don't know what to say except that I need you and to fuck the Shinra! They don't care for us any more than they do for the people in Midgar! They may have saved your life, but only for their own god damn good! You should hate them! You should hate them... Like I do." He squeezed his eyes shut as he cried, holding onto Tseng as if it would save both their lives.

    The Turk sighed, relaxing back into Reeve's arms. "I can't," he sighed. "I can't hate them, Reeve. No matter what. I won't stop them," He hung his head and whispered, "but I wish someone would stop me."

    In other ways he scared himself. What was he doing? What if Tseng took it the wrong way? Fuck it, he eventually decided. If Tseng was a woman I would have married him a long time ago. This is the least I can do. It will make him feel more human... And I will feel less guilty.

    There were butterflies in his stomach as he sat at the edge of the bed they shared now, playing with the box in his hands. Tseng should be arriving home any minute, and he was on the verge of chickening out. Am I crazy going through with this? Am I out of my mind? I never would have done this. So why did I?

    He jumped as the door opened and turned to see Tseng trudge inside, shoulders slumped. "Hello, Reeve."

    Reeve went to talk, but his throat was suddenly dry, and no words would come. "Uh...."

    Tseng stopped on his way to the bathroom and looked curiously at his friend. "Reeve? What are you doing?"

    The older man cleared his throat uncertainly, shaking slightly as he patted the space besides him. "Sit by me, won't you?"

    The Turk raised an eyebrow but slid into the spot besides the other man. "Reeve? Is something wrong?"

    Black eyes found Reeve's trembling hands hiding something. "What's that?"

    "Uh...." Reeve looked down at the box, opening his hands and revealing the object. "Here." He quickly turned, shoving the box into the Turk's hands.

    "For me?" Tseng seemed genuinely shocked as he gazed down at the case.

    "Go on, open it," the older man encouraged, looking away.

    The Turk held the box out, opening it slowly, eyes widening as he did so. "Reeve... Oh my god..." Hands shaking with emotion, Tseng removed a gold ring from the box. "I.... I don't know what to say..."

    Reeve turned back to his friend, taking the ring and sliding into onto his friend's finger, hands trembling. "It's a token of our friendship," he explained, holding up his right hand. He wore an identical ring. "See?"

    Tseng looked from the ring on his finger to the one on Reeve's. "Reeve... Oh my... Oh my god..." He met his friend's green eyes, tears in his own. "This means so much to me, Reeve. You can't even imagine."

    Reeve grabbed the other man around the shoulders, holding him close. "My dearest friend... You mean so much to me..." I love you.

    Tseng held him back, choking out tears. "You know I love you, Reeve." He sniffed back the emotion. "Oh god... Crying again. I can never stop..."

    The older man backed off, taking his friend firmly by the shoulders, staring seriously into the Turk's teary eyes. "Tseng, listen to me." His voice was as stern as his eyes. "I want you to cry. Don't feel bad. Sephiroth was right when he said tears make us human. Forget you're a Turk, if even for a little while. Just cry. And I'll hold you. As long as you want."

    Tseng reached out, entwining their fingers on two hands with identical rings. "Reeve... I promise.... I'll never feel guilty for crying again. I love you."

    They kissed, Reeve sweeping the younger man up in his arms. And for one single night, it was as though Shinra had never existed at all.

    "I'm sorry, Reeve, but I'm busy," Tseng would say whenever Reeve would call him.

    "Why? What's going on?" the older man would demand, hoping to get something out of him.

    "I've gotta go." Then the dial tone.

    He lay in bed alone, lonely with only moonlight across his bed. It was very late, and yet he was not the least bit tired. For hours and he had been tossing and turning. He hadn't realized how much he depended on Tseng being there. In fact, he couldn't sleep without the younger man besides him. With a sigh he got to his feet, plodding towards the bathroom . Maybe if he ran some water over his face or something, he would be able to relax.

    He never made it there.

    For a moment he thought an earthquake had struck. The room shook and he collapsed to the floor, landing on his hands and knees. He cringed at the deafening noise, which sounded like all of Midgar was collapsing into the earth.

    Then, just as suddenly as it had begun, all was still again.

    Reeve panted, gasping for breath as he frantically wondered what the hell had just happened. He scrambled to his feet and went to the window. As soon as he looked out, it was clear what had happened.

    The number one reactor was a charred heap of smoldering metal, and enough smoke was coming from it to blanket the Midgar sky.

    It was as if the world fell out from under him. He shut eyes and prayed that when he opened them it would all be a dream and everything would be back to normal. That maybe he was in a different world, where Midgar didn't exist, where there was no such thing as Mako, where no one would care if he loved another man, and everything was at peace. If such a world existed, Reeve wanted to wake up there.

    But it was the same view when his eyes reopened. The same city, the same smoke filled sky, and the same sickening feeling spreading throughout his body. What the hell happened, he thought as his mind started working again. What happened to the reactor?

    He turned and grabbed his PHS, pressing the speed dial. He needed to talk to Tseng. Now. And he didn't want to hear any crap.

    Tseng picked up on the second ring. "Heidegger, I told you, I'd get right on it."

    "This isn't Heidegger, Tseng," Reeve said, voice firm. "It's me."

    "Reeve?" Tseng's voice became instantly softer. "What are you doing? Shouldn't you be asleep?"

    "You expect me to sleep through that blast loud enough to be heard around the world?"

    There was a moment silence on the other end. "...it was nothing."

    "Bull*shit* it was nothing!" Reeve spat. "I can see the smoke coming from the reactor myself! Now tell me what the *fuck* happened! I don't deserve to be kept in the dark anymore. I've worked too long and put up with too much shit to be continually fucked over like this! There is no god damn way I am hanging up until I get a straight answer from someone!"

    "....it was a terrorist bomb," Tseng answered quietly, a sound of mourning in his voice. "We believe AVALANCHE was behind it. The explosion was so severe that several hundred civilians were killed in the fires that resulted." He paused a moment, and when Reeve stayed silent he added, "there is your straight story, Reeve. It is what I deal with every day. It never gets any easier."

    Reeve could feel himself shaking. "A terrorist bomb?"

    "Yes."

    For some sad, sick reason he wasn't surprised. They were out there. They were active. They wanted Midgar destroyed.

    Just like he did.

    "Reeve?" Tseng spoke again, keeping his voice soft and gentle. "Are you all right?"

    Reeve sank to his knees so he wouldn't have to look at the destruction anymore, gripping the PHS with white knuckles as he sat with his back against the wall, trembling. "No... No I'm really not..."

    There was a moment of silence for a minute. "Stay right there, Reeve. I'm going to come as soon as I can, okay?"

    "Don't do it, Tseng," Reeve requested, voice shaking as tears escaped his eyes. "Please. Don't help them anymore."

    Another brief hesitation followed. When Tseng finally spoke, there was regret in his voice. "I'm sorry, Reeve." He terminated the connection.

    His hand went limp and the PHS clattered to the floor. The tears flowed silently down his face. It's so bad they're willing to let no one stand in their way to stop it. They hate Shinra enough to kill. And... And so do I.

    I wanna quit. I wanna be free of it. But I can't, I can't, I can't. He stumbled to his feet, tears blinding his vision. This is the only way I know how... The only way I know how to.. He reached the bathroom, and fumbled opening the medicine cabinet with shaking hands. It was time to be rid of the cause of Midgar.

    His mind was a blank as he took the razor in his hands, looking down at it, tears falling into his hand. A final thought registered in his head as he took it in his trembling fingers. I have to pay for all the people I've made to suffer... For all the people who kill because they hate my dream. He brought it down...

    The sound of a slamming door startled him and Reeve jumped, dropping the razor blade into the sink.

    "Reeve?" It was Tseng, and he sounded frantic. "REEVE!?"

    He choked on his tears, hiding his face with his hands. "Oh my god... Oh my god..."

    "Reeve!" Tseng came into the bathroom "I told you I'd come, Reeve, I--" his eyes found the razor in the sink, and he stopped, a wave of horror cascading down on him. "Oh, Reeve... Oh, Reeve don't tell me you were going to..."

    Reeve sobbed louder, head still buried in his hands.

    The Turk made no noise as he dragged Reeve out of the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him. "Reeve," he said sternly once they were in the bedroom. "Reeve, look at me. *Look* at me." There was a distinct twinge of anger in his voice.

    Reeve uncovered his face, eyes red from the crying. "What?"

    Tseng growled as he reached out and smacked his friend hard across the face. Reeve's head snapped to the side at the sudden outburst, a cry of pain escaping his lips as a hand went to covered his injured cheek. Eyes narrowing, he turned his face back to Tseng and went to talk. But Tseng put a shaking finger up against his lips, keeping quiet as he spoke in a harsh, trembling whisper. "What the *fuck* do you think you're doing, trying to kill yourself? Are you out of your fucking mind? Do you know how you scared the living shit out of me, Reeve?! Do you know what I would do if you died, Reeve?! I'd go and kill myself too because I can't live without you. There is *never* a need for you to do that or even *think* that you should. I don't care what the hell you think you did. They don't just hate you and they don't just hate Midgar. They hate Shinra. They hate all of us. Stop blaming yourself for every god damn casualty. Every time you do this to yourself, you make me feel like it isn't enough for me to love you." He lost it at that point, shaking his head and backing off as the tears fell. "Sometimes I really don't know what you need, Reeve, and it really makes me feel helpless." He put a hand to his stomach, eyes to the floor as he said, "I would give you anything you wanted, but I can't do that unless you tell me."  He looked up and said, voice consumed with his weeping, "I'm sorry I hit you. I just didn't know what to do... You scared me so horribly... What if I had come two minutes too late? What would you have done?"

    There was a distinct tugging at his heart strings, and Reeve stood frozen still. "I would have done it," he said, voice completely monotone, as if he was in shock over what he nearly did to himself. "I would have killed myself without a second thought. I didn't think about you, or the consequences. All I thought about was that explosion..." he met Tseng's eyes. "I deserved more than a smack across the face."

    The Turk shook his head.

    All I thought about was... "I want to destroy Shinra."

    Tseng looked up at him. "What?"

    Reeve took the younger man by the shoulders. "I want to destroy, Shinra, Tseng. That would make me the happiest man in the world if I can just see it destroyed." Green eyes met black ones. "Won't you help me? Please?"

    "I... I..." Tseng stuttered, seeming lost in Reeve's eyes a moment. Finally he stepped away, breaking the contact. "No. I cannot." He was shaking his head again. "That is the one thing I cannot do for you, Reeve."

    Reeve set his jaw. Sometimes I hate you for being so loyal. "Very well. Just don't try to stop me."

    "I wouldn't dare." The Turk hung his head, and he didn't move as Reeve left the room.

    But oh, it wasn't easy.

    "Gya haa haa! Look at this, Reeve!"

    Reeve had not been jumping for joy when he heard Heidegger needed to see him. He had always truly hated him since that incident with Tseng all those years ago. Now he was looking at a huge stuffed mog with a black cat on top of it. "What the hell is that thing?"

    The overweight man brought out a remote control and flipped a switch. The thing came alive, startling Reeve. He stepped back.

    "This," Heidegger began, "is Cait Sith. He's a robot Hojo designed for your use." He laughed again, moving the joystick and making the creature move. "It has a head set too, for you to talk into."

    "Wait, what? For my use?" Reeve stared in disbelief at the thing. "What the hell am I going to do with that thing?"

    Heidegger thrust the control into his hands. "Practice using it. We will be using it as a spy."

    "A spy? Do you realize that this is cat on top of a stuffed mog? No one is going to take this thing seriously."

    "Gya haa haa! Exactly!" Heidegger said, laugh making Reeve wince. "Work on it, Reeve. Make this thing seem like it could never have the skills to be a spy. It will give you something to do besides sulk in your office all day.

    Maybe I wouldn't sulk in my office if I was invited to meetings, Reeve thought bitterly as he was handed the headset. "Yes, sir." A spy, huh? Maybe I don't have to look so far after all... He headed for the door.

    "Oh, and Reeve," Heidegger called to him before he could clear the door. "You have interviews for some potential employees tomorrow. Make sure you only hire the best for Shinra!"

    "Yes, sir." He shut the door as he left. Those poor people...

    He toed off his shoes and walked quietly to the bed, kneeling on it and coming besides his friend. The Turk was fast asleep, black hair spread around his pale face. He was sleeping with no covers in only his boxers, the ring Reeve had gave him still on his finger. The covers had all fallen to the floor. Was that by choice or was he just restless in his sleep? thought Reeve, pulling them back over his friend's body. For a minute afterwards, Reeve just stared down at him, sleeping so peacefully. "My love," he whispered, hand brushing a cheek tentatively. "Nothing can bring us apart. Not Shinra, not the Turks, and not my foolishness." He took his friend's limp hand, which was much warmer than his own, and caressed it, running his fingers over the ring. "This binds us together, almost like a wedding ring." He nuzzled his friend's neck and whispered against the skin. "I wish you didn't need Shinra. I wish neither of us had ever needed it. I wish we were both free and happy. But I hope you know I'm not just destroying Shinra for my sanity, or for the safety of the people in the slums, as important as that is to me. I'm doing this for you too. I want to break your chains, so you'll never have to kill again. I love you." He kissed his friend's neck slowly, running his tongue over the skin. "Tseng..." He kissed again, placing needy kisses up the side of his neck, past his jaw bone and onto his cheek. "I want to get us out of here." Gently he turned the sleeping Turk so he was on his back and leaned over, kissing his lips.

    With a low moan, Tseng opened his eyes, wrapping his arms around Reeve's neck, and pulling him deeper into the kiss. When they parted, he smiled sleepily at his friend. "What a nice way to be woken up." He looked down to see Reeve had hold of his hand. With a happy sigh he ran his finger over Reeve's ring and met his eyes again. "Welcome home, Reeve."

    "I'm sorry."

    A lazy smile crossed his lips as his hand stroked up and down the older man's back. "Mm... For what? For not being able to do the *one* thing you want from me?" He shook his head. "I'm the one who should be sorry. And it kills me inside, Reeve. So *I'm* sorry."

    "Listen," he took hold of his friend's shoulders, gazing into his eyes. "I don't care about that. All I care about is that you're here, and you'll hold me, as long as I want you to."

    "As long as you want me to," the Turk echoed, running a hand through his friend's hair. "I love you, Reeve."

    Reeve said nothing. He simply laid on top of Tseng, feeling the younger man's arms go around him as he buried his head next to his neck, nuzzling against him.

    "Ah, Reeve...."

    "Tseng?"

    "Yes?"

    "Will you... Will you make love to me?" He pulled away slightly, meeting their eyes again.

    "Whatever you want from me," promised Tseng, pulling down gently on Reeve's neck and covering his mouth with his own.

    If Reeve had known what was to happen in the future, he would have done things a little differently.

    "Yes."

    She was stunning. Her long, straight black hair was pulled back in the front, but a few strands were left to frame her face. She wore a lovely blue dress that matched her eyes. He hated to look down at her application, as it meant he had to take his eyes off her. It had been awhile since he had found himself so attracted to a woman, and he found he really wasn't focusing on the application at all. He looked up again. "Have you lived in Midgar long?"

    She shook her head. "No, Mr...Leander, was it?"

    "Yes," he confirmed. "Reeve Leander. I...um...built Midgar."

    "Oh," she nodded her head as she looked away from him. "I'm sure you're very proud of it."

    He didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so he simply stared at her, strangely calm. "Shinra certainly is."

    Her bright blue eyes turned their gaze back to him. She looked confused. "I didn't say Shinra. I said *you*."

    Reeve froze, his lungs failing him. He couldn't have her suspect his lack of loyalty, so he changed the subject, pretending to read her application. "Where are you from?"

    "Gongaga."

    The word hit him like an arrow through the heart, and his head snapped up, looking at her again. They hadn't hired or been allowed to hire anyone from Gongaga since the accident. "Gongaga," he repeated, a bit in shock. "Oh..." he looked down again.

    "Is there a problem?" she inquired, leaning onto the desk.

    Oh, she's so pretty... I don't want to turn her down. But I can't afford to get fired now before I destroy them... "I'm sorry," he said, sliding the application back towards her, "but I cannot hire anyone from Gongaga." No matter how drop dead gorgeous they are.

    Bria cocked her head, her eyes hard. "And why not?"

    He couldn't meet her eyes as he admitted, "because of what happened there. We are only allowed to hire people from towns who *like* Shinra. The people in Gongaga have no reason to like Shinra."

    "Is that so? Well I'm afraid, *sir*, if you are looking to hire someone who *likes* Shinra, you'll have to go look on a different planet."

    He looked up once more, jaw hanging open. She doesn't like Shinra either... So why was she...?? Suddenly there was so many questions he wanted to ask her. That maybe she could help him somehow... But no, not here. Right now he would have to play by the rules. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

    "Good day then," she said sternly, quickly getting to her feet and marching out of his office.

    Reeve quickly got to his feet as well, taking her application and stuffing it into his pocket. He was going to call her later. This girl, even though they had only spoken a few words to one another, was an inspiration to him. She had walked out on him once, but he would make sure hope didn't walk out on him again.

    "Reeve?" Tseng's voice came over the intercom. "Are you there?"

    He broke out of his trance and pushed the button on the intercom. "Uh, yeah, Tseng, I'm here." For some reason he felt guilty for checking out a woman. But who was he kidding? Tseng knew he liked women...and that someday he would leave him for one...

    "We have a meeting, now," the Turk explained. "Better get to the conference room or face the wrath of old man Shinra. He's in a horrible mood."

    "I'll be there, Tseng," he replied. "Thanks." He turned off the intercom and stepped out of his office. Bria, I think you might be just what I'm looking for.

    "I'm not late, am I?"

    Tseng just shook his head.

    Sometimes I forget how much he changes on duty.

    "Reeve! How did the interviews go?" Heidegger added a chuckle at the end, much to Reeve's dismay.

    "There was only one qualified applicant," he explained without looking at the older man, "and she was from Gongaga."

    "Oh," Heidegger replied, voice growing dark. "We can't have any of *those* working for Shinra."

    It was as though they were a virus...

    President Shinra entered, and it was clear from the expression on his face that he was in no cheery mood. The room silenced as he took his place at the head of the table. "As you know, the number one reactor has been destroyed. Our sources have confirmed that this was the work of AVALANCHE, a terrorist group based in the Sector Seven slums."

    "The nerve of them deciding they have any chance standing up to us," Scarlet hissed.

    She's right in some ways... They really have no chance...

    Heidegger said, "they'll probably strike again. We have to find a way to stop them before that happens."

    "I have decided on a way." A grisly smile spread across his face. "We are going to blow up the Sector Seven support pillar."

    The words echoed in Reeve's head, and he did not believe what he had just heard. "What?"

    The President chuckled. "I'm sorry, Reeve, but it seems we will be crushing one of your precious sectors."

    This bastard is going to crush god knows how many people and he's laughing about it?!?!?!? "Sir," Reeve began, struggling to keep his rage in check, "I think you should think this through. By crushing the support you will kill innocent people--"

    Shinra cut him off with a wave of his chubby hand. "There's no point in debating it, Reeve. I just holding this meeting to inform all of you, not to ask you your opinion."

    Reeve clenched his fists but kept quiet. As if they couldn't use Midgar for anything bad already... Now they have to use it to smash innocent lives because of a group with only a few members.

    "Heidegger and I will discuss the details. In the meanwhile, keep up your hard work for Shinra Inc.!" With those words he turned and walked out the door, Heidegger at his heels.

    Reeve hung his head, fighting hard against the tears his soul needed to release. Whenever he didn't think things could get any worse, Shinra Inc. somehow had to go and prove him horribly wrong. "Aw, shit..." he hid his face.

    "Reeve..." he could hear Tseng whispering in his ear. "I--"

    "Tseng..." Hojo's slimy voice commanded, "I have another job for you."

    Reeve heard his friend draw a shaky breath and leave his side, going to the Professor.

    "...What do you think, man?" Reeve overheard Rude whispering to Reno.

    "Whatever, man," was the red head's reply. "We just do what we're told."

    Reeve managed to take control over his feelings and looked up to where Tseng was speaking with Hojo. The Turk was very stiff as the Professor's stood close, beady eyes boring into him.

    "I need that girl," Hojo smiled, running a hand over Tseng's cheek. "You understand, boy?"

    The Turk was barely able to nod. "Yes, sir." Swallowing hard he added, "I understand perfectly," with a weak voice, trembling at the other man's touch.

    "Very good..." Hojo turned and left then, and Tseng breathed a sigh of relief.

    Reeve got up from his chair. "Tseng."

    "Oh, Reeve, can I speak to you for a moment?" It was Scarlet, speaking from behind him.

    "A minute," he hushed her, going to his friend's side. "What was *that* about?"

    Tseng still seemed rattled. "Nothing. Just some old business I've yet to finish."

    "Tseng, I--"

    "I won't be in tonight," the Turk cut him off, taking Reeve's hand firmly in his own. "Will you be all right?"

    Reeve was almost glad of it, only for the simple fact that it would let him call Bria. "I'll be all right."

    Tseng loosened his grip on the other man's hand, rubbing their rings together. "We'll talk, Reeve. It will be all right."

    Reeve knew it would never be all right as long as Shinra existed, but he nodded anyway. "Take care of yourself."

    The Turk cast a glance over Reeve's shoulder, squeezed his hand once more, and left, motioning for his subordinates to follow.

    "Looks as though we're alone..." Scarlet's voice had a disgustingly familiar seductive tone to it.

    He didn't even turn. "Don't try that shit on me, Scarlet. I'm not a seventeen year old virgin anymore."

    She came up behind him, running her hands down his back. "I guess you don't like women anymore either... Not since you've been fucking that Turk..."

    "Since I've been *what*?!" All thoughts were thrown from his mind as he spun, eyes narrowing. "Where did you get *that* idea?!"

    "As if it isn't obvious," she purred, taking hold of his jacket. "How you always act a little more intimate that 'just good friends'. I saw him take your hand just now..." She fitted her body against his as she said, "but I won't tell, Reevey..."

    With a look of disgust he pushed her away from him. "What the hell do you want Scarlet? You wanna fuck? Don't even waste your time." He turned away from her and began to walk away.

    "Why, cause I can't shove anything up your ass?" she snarled.

    He turned again, eyes flashing with even more anger than before. Coming back to her, he seized her shoulders, shaking her as he hissed, "you are a disgusting, heartless *bitch* and I can barely stand to look at you, never mind fuck you. So give it up, Scarlet, and go pray on some naive, horny teenager who doesn't know any better, just like you did once upon a fucking time with me."

    Her eyes widened, and he let her free, turning around and fuming out of the room.

    "You're not gay, Reeve!" she called after him. She was obviously angry. "Don't pretend you are!"

    Reeve went straight home. He had to cry.

    As he dialed the numbers his hand shook horribly, and as it rang he contemplated hanging up. He was about to when he heard a voice pick up.

    "Hello?"

    His mouth hung open, and for a long moment he forgot how he was supposed to reply.

    "Hello?"

    Finally he snapped back to life. "Oh! Sorry to bother you, ma'am, but can I speak to Bria Mainstay, please?"

    "Bria?" the reply seemed shocked. "Hold a minute."

    And he waited, heart pounding in his chest.  What if she hung up on him? Then he would be back where he started...

    "Hello?"

    It was her. He panicked. "Hello? Bria?"

    "This is Bria..." she seemed unsure. "Who is this?"

    "Reeve Leander from Shinra Inc," he rushed. "Remember?"

    "Shinra?" she was shocked. "Yes, I remember... Don't tell me I got the job."

    "Uh... No," he admitted, feeling a bit foolish. "Actually, this is going to sound very strange to you, but I was wondering if we could meet again."

    "You would want to....meet with me?"

    "It would have to be in secret and in private," he explained, surprised she was even considering meeting with him at all. "I know it must sound entirely suspicious, but I assure you this is the only way."

    For a moment or two she was silent. "......all right."

    The words were music to his ears. He smiled a wave of tremendous relief washing over him. "Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me."

    "Is today all right? Or is that too soon?"

    Today?! He would get to see her today? "Oh no," he said quickly. "That's fine. Any time today."

    "In two hours then?"

    "Two hours," he confirmed. "Oh, and Bria... Thank you. Thank you very much."

    "I know this isn't a trick," she said evenly. "I could see in your eyes from the moment I laid eyes on you that you were different from the others. We'll talk soon. Good-bye."

    "Good-bye." He closed the connection, and sat there for a moment, mouth hanging open. She could see I was different... She didn't put me on the same level as the others... Just where I *don't* want to be...

    For the first time in a very long time, Reeve's heart was flying on wings. In two hours he was going to see Bria.

    And he couldn't be happier.

    Reeve found he was motionless outside her door, worrying about what he would say when he was face to face with her again. You're amazing? Do you believe in love at first sight? Shinra sucks doesn't it? All right, Reeve. Take it easy. Just relax, and the words will come. Taking a deep breath he knocked, and then he waited.

    Only a moment later she appeared, and she took his breath away just as she had the first time he had laid eyes on her. That jet black hair pulled back from her angelic face, bright blue eyes holding a somehow seductive look to them. "Ah. Reeve we meet again."

    He was still, stopped in shock for another moment, eyes lost in hers. "Bria..." he finally breathed, unconscious to his own words. "Thank you for letting me come."

    "I don't mind at all." She stepped aside. "Please come in."

    Reeve stepped inside, not paying attention to his surroundings, turning to face her as she shut the door and turned to face him.

    "What do you wish to know?"

    Just as he knew, the words flowed easily. "I want to know everything."

    He left her with many thanks, and she told him it was her pleasure, actually granting him a beautiful smile.

    Oh yes, Reeve was feeling much better by the time he returned home. Much, much better.

    Tseng returned that night, but he didn't say much. He simply sat on the bed in his clothes, reading the daily paper. Reeve lay naked from the waist up under the covers, looking up at him.

    Tseng... Even though I have a woman in my life who I can't get my mind off of, I still want you. I still need you. "Tseng..." he pleaded.

    "What?" the younger man's voice was gruff, and he sounded annoyed as he turned the page.

    Reeve's eyes widened at the response. "Are you all right?"

    His voice remained cold. "I am trying to read the paper."

    "That paper is owned by Shinra," the older man pointed out testily. "There's nothing in there you don't already know."

    With an annoyed sigh, Tseng put the paper down. "What do you want, Reeve?" He turned to look at his friend.

    Reeve hesitated for a moment before meekly pointing at Tseng.

    "No," the word hit Reeve like a punch in the stomach. He watched in shock as the Turk went back to the paper.

    "What?" Reeve blinked, confused. "But, Tseng... I want you..." He gently placed a hand on his friend's arm.

    The younger man shook it off. "I can't do it, Reeve."

    His eyes narrowed. "Why not? You have been for years!"

    "Well I won't any more."

    Reeve snatched the paper from the other man, ripping it in the process. He threw it to the floor, the pages falling in different directions. "Why?" he clenched his jaw.

    Tseng sighed and hung his head, speaking softly. "Because you don't love me. And who am I to make you be intimate with someone you don't love."

    Reeve felt like slapping him. "What?! I do love you!"

    "Not in the way I'm talking about."

    "Yes I do!" Reeve exclaimed without thinking. He then gasped at his own words, a hand going to cover his mouth. Oh no. It had slipped. It was out in the open.

    The Turk still hung his head. "No you don't, Reeve. Don't pretend you do just so you can get some."

    For a moment Reeve had no reply. Looked as though his burning secret was safe after all. Now Tseng just thought he was horny. Not entirely untrue... "Tseng, where are you getting these thoughts from? Come on... Don't... Don't do this to me."

    "Oh, Reeve..." the younger man reached out and took both Reeve's hands in his. "I've been thinking a lot lately. About a lot of things. And--"

    The older man quickly put a finger to his friend's lips. "Tseng. No. Don't think. I don't want to hear why you don't want me anymore."

    "No!" the young man cried, taking his friend's hand away from his lips. "Don't be stupid, Reeve. That's not why. This is for your well being, not mine."

    "My well being!?" yelled Reeve, jerking his hands out of the other man's grip and sliding away. "Don't presume to know what I need, Tseng. You clearly don't have a god damn clue."

    "I just want you to be happy, Reeve."

    "Well this isn't making me happy, Tseng. Just annoyed. I don't need you to back off on me too." He crossed his arms, pouting a little.

    "Reeve..." Tseng reached out for him, but Reeve got up.

    "Good night, Tseng," he said coldly, leaving the bedroom. What the fuck is wrong with him lately? Shit. That's it. Tomorrow I'm calling Bria.