It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.
-An Vo

    It was only two days later that it was completed.

    'Angel's Kiss' was a complete reality. All they had to do now was get themselves organized and "open the damn thing", as Reno would say.

    But there was plenty of time for that. Right now they were celebrating not only the completion of their dream, but Reeve's fatherhood as well, and even Rufus was in high spirits.

    "Let me get the booze," joked Reno, reaching behind the bar. "It's my specialty."

    "I would say so," commented Rude.

    The two of them, along with Reeve, of course, as well as Rufus, Vincent and Cloud, were gathered around the elegant mahogany bar, finished with brass. The room itself was large, very airy, and yet very cozy. The walls were paneled in wood, there were booths lined along the walls, covered in a rich red leather. A stone fireplace stood off to the right, and spiral stairs towards the entrance led to what was to be the restaurant upstairs. And above that even, was a large apartment where Bria and Reeve were going to start their family.

    "Beer for all!" Reno called. "Oh, no wait! Better! Champagne!" He stood, holding the bottle triumphantly.

    Rude said, "Don't kill anyone with the cork."

    "Why don't you get in front of it and prevent that from happenin', man," Reno teased, grinning at his friend.

    Rude had to smile back.

    "This is quite a beautiful atmosphere," Vincent commented, once he had given the place a good look over. "You are quite talented, Reeve."

    "Thanks, but I didn't do all of it," Reeve admitted, accepting the champagne that was offered to him. He then pushed his brand new glasses further up his nose. They were small oval frames, and even though they looked good on him, he complained because it made him feel old. "Rufus picked out the colors and everything. That's his forte."

    "Might as well try and help along the one time rumor that I'm gay," laughed Rufus, sipping his champagne.

    Cloud nearly spit out what he was drinking.

    "I started that!" bragged Reno, pouring the last glass for himself and nearly overflowing it in his eagerness.

    "Yeah, thanks!!" cried the former President, glaring at the redhead. "I was fending off guys for a month!"

    Reno laughed. "You shoulda sent 'em to Tseng. He woulda appreciated it."

    Rufus blinked in shock. "....Tseng was gay?"

    Reeve tried not to choke.

    "Uh, duh," Reno confirmed as if the whole world knew but Rufus.

    "Really?" Rufus looked at Rude, who nodded, and then to Reeve. "Was he really?"

    "Uh, yeah." Reeve quickly answered the question and took a big gulp of champagne. "But that's not important now."

    "How about a toast?" Vincent suggested.

    "Yo, great idea, man! Go 'head, Rufus."

    "Me?!"

    "Yeah, you. Go 'head."

    The blonde sighed and held up his glass. "Well, I have to say that this goes without saying: this, is for Reeve. For he who designed this lovely building that's going to make us all *something* again, and to him becoming a father, may we toast to his happiness."

    Reeve blushed considerably. "Oh, stop it."

    "So, this is to Reeve, because he's a great person, and a great friend. And he's always there when you need him. Rufus continued, eyes locked on his friend. "May you get everything you ever wanted."

    "....Is it too late to join in?"

    Everybody froze.

    That voice belonged to no one in the group, yet it was chillingly familiar. Some knew it better than others, but they all knew it, and knew it well. Reeve's hand twitched.

    Then they turned, all of them at once, slowly, towards the sound of that voice.

    There were two figures were at the open doorway. One man, brown haired, hazel eyed and overall very handsome, was not widely recognized by the others. He was not the one who had spoken. It was the man standing two steps in front of him, sculptured body, pale flawless skin, unmistakable black eyes. The hair was cut short, but the color was familiar. Also, there, in the center of his forehead, was a small black dot.

    There was the distinct sound of shattering glass but it startled absolutely no one.

    The redhead, gaping in amazement, was the first to speak, "holy shit. Tseng?"

    Tseng Tyutyuik nodded, barely. Here he was, in the flesh. Tseng, the head of the Turks. Tseng, the one who had been killed by Sephiroth. Tseng, the one everyone had been crying over since the day he gave himself up--- that same man was here. With them. In the room.

    And he was alive.

    "Holy fuck, Tseng!!" Reno cried, leaping over the bar and throwing himself in his former boss' arms.

    "Hi, Reno." Tseng was smiling as he embraced his friend.

    "...Tseng." Rude pushed his sunglasses back to get a better look. "Tseng..." Then he too went to the other man's side. Everyone was a little shocked to see the usually silent and emotionless man give the new arrival a warm hug.

    "Oh my god I can't believe you're here!!" Reno was clearly ecstatic. "We were just talking about you like five seconds ago!"

    "Good things I hope." Tseng's eyes were on Reeve.

    "'Course, man. Can't say anything bad about you."

    "...Tseng?" Rufus approached him as he would approach a ghost. "...Really? How can it... You were *dead*."

    "To Shinra Inc. I was," he explained. "But I never really was. And what about you? I thought I read in the paper that WEAPON had blown your office up."

    Rufus just said, "Jenova's good for keeping people alive."

    Tseng just nodded. "I see."

    The man standing behind Tseng cleared his throat.

    "Oh! I'm sorry!" the former Turk turned back to smile at his apparent companion. "I've been so Rude. Everyone, this is Benjamin Raven. He used to work as an accountant in Shinra. Ben, I think you know everyone here."

    Ben nodded in confirmation. "I do. Hello everyone."

    "I am like, out of my fucking mind!" Reno exclaimed, patting his friend on the back. "What the hell happened? How are you here?? I thought Sephiroth stabbed you."

    "He did," Tseng said simply. "But I didn't die." Once more his eyes were hard on Reeve. "I've always been a hard one to kill."

    "This is one story I must hear," Rufus insisted, pouring yet another glass of champagne and handing it to Tseng. He asked Benjamin if he wanted anything, but he declined.

    "Not much to tell, really. I was going to let myself die, but at the last second I pulled out some of my materia, and healed myself basically entirely. I got out of the temple and managed to get on a ship to Wutai. That's where I ended up, and I met up with Ben there. So I've been living with him, and when I heard about this bar.... I had to come say hello to some old friends." Again he looked at Reeve, who hadn't said a word.

    "Why'd you do it, man?" Reno said softly, sounding betrayed. "We didn't ya come back?"

    "I'm sorry," he apologized. "But I had my reasons." This time he looked at Reeve and didn't look away.

    Reeve was looking right back.

    "Um...I've never been to Nibelheim before," Ben spoke up, breaking the silence. "Someone willing to show me around?"

    Reno eyed the exchange between Reeve and Tseng and nodded. "Sure, man. Come on, Rufus."

    "Huh?" said Rufus.

    "Let's show the new guy around."

    "But I wasn't done talking to Tseng."

    "Talk to him later." The redhead seized the blonde by the wrist and dragged him out. Cloud, Ben and Rude were right behind, and Vincent stole one last look at the pair before he too exited, softly easing the door shut behind him.

    They stared in silence for what seemed like hours, eyes locked. Reeve was lost in those eyes he thought he'd never see again. Now he was *here*. Now he was listening to him talk. Now he was close enough to touch...

    "I came to see you." His words were firm and even.

    "Oh god."

    "You haven't said anything, Reeve." the former Turk took a step forward. "Is something wrong?"

    "Oh god..." Reeve's eyes widened slightly, but then they narrowed dangerously and he snapped, "you bastard."

    Black eyes widened in shock. ".....Reeve?"

    "You BASTARD!" Reeve exclaimed again, outraged. "You made me think you were dead! I don't give a flying *fuck* what stupid reason you had! You *killed* me when you died! You *killed* me. I felt like you ripped my god damn heart out my chest when you did that! I *know* you did it for me. I *know* you did it so Shinra would have one less robot to order around, but I don't care! It wasn't worth it! I would sooner have suffered at Shinra for a million years than to have you dead! I cried for a god damn week! And even know, even two seconds before you walked through that fucking door I wasn't over it. Do you have *any* idea how terrible you made me feel? I could have killed myself." He ran out of words and was panting now, trembling all over.

    "I knew you wouldn't." He was standing before his longtime friend now, voice still completely calm. "You had Bria. I just wanted you to be happy, Reeve. ....I didn't want to be in the way. I knew if I was there, I would be in the way. I just love you so much. That's why I went away for so long and didn't try to see you." He shook his head. "But I couldn't do it. When Ben and I were living together in Wutai, it was great. He talked about getting married, and I almost gave it. I was content living with him, and I could have lived quite contentedly with him like that for the rest of my life." With a sigh, he went on. "But I couldn't. I couldn't do anything without seeing you first. You're my best friend, Reeve. ...I-I have to be near you. ...Until you tell me to go away. ...That's why..." He swallowed, voice growing unsteady. "That's why I came here."

    "Tell you to go away? Tseng... I would never, *ever* want you to go away from me. I...I love you." Reeve reached out and put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "W-when you walked through that door... It was like... It was like..." His chin trembled. "It was like I was complete again."

    Tseng sighed shakily. "Oh, Reeve.... Please... Please tell me you forgive me."

    Within seconds Reeve's arms were around his long lost love and he was holding him close, as close as possible, cupping his head with the back of his head. "Never leave me again. *Never*. Promise me."

    "Never. Never. I promise." The words flowed easily as the former Turk held his long lost love as close as possible, his head resting on his shoulder. "It feels so good to hold you."

    "I can't hold you close enough," Reeve whispered.

    "Oh, Reeve..." it was more of an exhalation of breath than speaking as Tseng squeezed his eyes shut, tears, squeezing from the edges. "I'm sorry. So sorry. I only wanted to help you..."

    "Shush..." Reeve soothed him, holding Tseng impossibly closer. He ran his hand over the back of the other man's head. "It's all right... It's all right... I'm just so glad you're here. There aren't even words to explain how happy I am right now."

    "Oh, Reeve..."

    "Tseng?" he whispered.

    "What?"

    "D-do you remember...that time....when you were in the coma for two days?"

    "I thought you wanted to forget that..." the other man whispered.

    "How I..." Reeve went on, whispering, shutting his eyes, and blocking out everything but the feel of Tseng's body against him and the rise and fall of his breath. "How I cried to you... About how I didn't speak for two days, and how I couldn't go to work because I couldn't leave your side, remember? I even... I even kissed your forehead a few times."

    "Mmm...you kissed my neck too," the former Turk remembered fondly. "Then you crawled right in the hospital bed next to me, and while you were asleep, you would mumble things and hold me closer." Tseng finally lifted his head, and he and Reeve met eyes. "It was so cute." He let out a breath. "You're so beautiful, Reeve."

    "You're beautiful too."

    "You don't have to tell me that anymore."

    "I *want* to." Reeve restrained himself from brushing a hand against that smooth cheek like he *so* longed to do. "And I mean it."

    Tseng smiled, fingers barely brushing against Reeve's face as he touched the glasses. "I like these. They make you look smarter and more handsome."

    The former executive smiled. "I think they make me look dorky and old."

    "Oh come on now." the younger man grinned. "You were always dorky." Gently, Tseng separated himself from Reeve. "Don't get too close. You know it drives me crazy." He paused briefly before asking, "how are things with Bria?"

  Who? "Oh, Bria! Yes. Well, we got married." He hesitated somewhat before holding up the hand with his ring.

    "Very nice," commented Tseng. "What else?"

    "I'm a father."

    Tseng's jaw nearly hit the floor. "No kidding!! Really??"

    "Yeah, not even a week ago. Twin boys." Reeve had to smile at the mention of them.

    "Oh my god, congratulations!" Tseng went over to the champagne. "No wonder you were celebrating." He filled two empty glasses, handing one to Reeve and taking one for himself. He held up his glass and proclaimed, "to the best day ever!" Smiling at his old friend he added, "what do you think?"

    "Perfect," said Reeve, but as he went to take a drink, he muttered, "almost," to himself.

    "Do you remember my eighteenth birthday?"

    "The birthday where Scarlet tried to feel you up?"

    Tseng practically giggled. "That's the one. You don't remember what happened that night, do you, Reeve? After you got drunk on the champagne."

    Reeve hesitated, licking his lips nervously before saying, "I--I started kissing you. And-and, I didn't want you to stop."

    The younger man raised an eyebrow as he sipped his glass. "I didn't think you remembered that."

    "You didn't think I remembered that time we got drunk and made out on halloween either. But I do." He took another sip from his glass. That's because I was in love with you, you fool, even before we were together. Only I didn't know it then. I didn't know what that kind of love was then. "So....what's going to happen with you and Ben?"

    Shrugging, Tseng placed his glass down. "He loves me. He wants to marry me. And as much as I adore Ben, and while I love him dearly as a friend, I don't love him like he loves me..." With a sigh he concluded, "but he doesn't care. I think it's a bad idea though. I don't want to prevent him from finding and loving someone who loves him the same way in return." Another sigh and he picked up his glass again. "From what I've heard...it's really amazing." Looking up at Reeve he asked, "is it?"

    Reeve wanted to break down and cry right there. He wanted to go crying to his friend and confess his love. That yes, it was amazing, but only when he had been with Tseng. "Yeah," he mumbled. "It's something."

    "But even if Ben and I were to get married, we could still see one another of course. Ben's a free lance accountant now, so he can work wherever he wants. We could always move to Nibelheim....even if this town creeps me out." He mumbled the last part into his glass as he polished it off.

    "You cried that entire project," said Reeve quietly. "I'm surprised you can come back here at all."

    "It's all right now that the mansion's gone. Besides..." He shrugged, looking away, "for all the horrible things about it...there are always the memories of you comforting me when I couldn't even think straight."

    "We made love every night of that horrible assignment." Reeve let his eyes drift over Tseng's form, a work of art he knew so well, and he imagined the beautiful, muscular body beneath the streamlined black clothing he wore. "That was the only beautiful thing about it."

    The younger man was fiddling with the ring he wore on his finger. Reeve was glad, but not entirely shocked, to see he still wore that symbol of his affection. "She doesn't know about us, does she? ...What we were?"

    "She knows we were friends," revealed the older man. "That's it. ...I-...I didn't tell her, Tseng. I couldn't."

    "I understand." The other man looked up, a smile hiding around the corners of his mouth. "I'd like to meet her, and see your children, if that's possible."

    "Of course it's possible!" Straightening up the glasses a little he added, "we can go right now, if you want. I told her about you, of course. She's always wanted to meet you too."

    Tseng smiled. "Great."

    Reeve was grinning, and his eyes glided over his friend again, still amazed to believe the only thing he ever really needed was right there in front of him once more. And it had taken him that long to notice Tseng's hair, which had once reached his shoulders, had been cut short, a few strands hovering above his eyes. "You cut your hair," he commented as he went to shut the lights.

    Tseng was still smiling as he ran his hands through his short black hair as the lights flickered out. "Just getting rid of the remnants of the past."


    Saying Bria was thrilled to meet Tseng was understating it *just* a little bit.

    "Oh my god!" she exclaimed upon being introduced to him. "Everyone thought you were dead!" She hopped off the couch and gave him a big hug. "Reeve has told me a *lot* about you. You two were pretty close, weren't you?"

    "Yes," Tseng answered politely. "About as close as two friends can get."

    Reeve winced; no one noticed.

    "Reeve told me quite a bit about you too," the former Turk continued. "I'm so glad to finally get to meet you."

    "It's great to meet you too! Please, won't you sit down?"

    "I wanted to show Tseng the kids, Bri," Reeve interrupted. "Are they sleeping?"

    "Oh, no. And go ahead. I'll make some coffee." She looked at Tseng. "Is that all right?"

    "That's fine. Thank you." He smiled at her and Reeve led him into another room. "I like her," he said honestly.

    "Really?"

    "Yeah."

    "You can tell me the truth."

    "She's very nice. What's not to like?"

    "Y-you're not jealous?" he wanted to kick himself for asking.

    "Of course I am," Tseng answered quietly, "but that doesn't mean I can't like her." He leaned over the crib and peered in, sucking in a breath. "Oh, how beautiful."

    The two boys were on their backs, looking up at the two men who gazed down at them. One of them smiled and gurgled, kicking the air.

    Reeve smiled proudly, leaning on the bar of the crib. "Well? Aren't they the most beautiful things you've ever seen?"

    "Next to you, yes," Tseng breathed. He went to reach in, but then he pulled his hand away. "Oh," he began, turning to Reeve. "May I?"

    "Of course."

    Tseng reached in, a bit hesitantly, offering his finger to the smiling child who grabbed it and held it tight in his tiny fist. A smile reached the former Turk's face, and he playfully tried to free his finger. "That's some grip you got there."

    "So you wanna know names?"

    "Of course."

    "Well on the right is Rufus. Big Rufus protested it but, Bria really wanted to name him that, so Rufus it is. And the one who has your finger...." Reeve trailed off, eyes drifting to his friend. "That's Tseng."

    Tseng looked up in shock, eyes widening as they came upon Reeve. "You're kidding."

    Reeve shook his head almost without moving it. "I named him."

    "I--I I'm touched, Reeve, I never thought..." he looked back at the child. "He looks just like you."

    Reeve moved closer and put an arm around his friend. Around his *waist*. Not his shoulders.

    "Coffee's ready!" called Bria. "You can bring the boys in here, Reeve!"

    "All right! We'll be right there!" Reeve called back. He nudged his friend in the shoulder. "Go on. Pick him up."

    "Oh...I don't know..." Tseng hesitated. "I've never held a baby before... I haven't even been this close to one before."

    "You're kidding," blinked Reeve, dumbfounded.

    The younger man shook his head. "I was the youngest child. Then I worked in a whore house. Then I was a Turk. I haven't seen too many babies."

    "Oh, pick him up," Reeve insisted. "It's easy, here." He picked the child up himself and then transferred him into Tseng's arms. "See? It's easy."

    The other man held him so delicately it was as if he was made of glass. "Wow," he breathed, watching the baby yawn and snuggle up against him. "I'm so glad you reproduced, Reeve. It would have been a crime if you hadn't."

    Reeve chuckled. "I think he likes you."

    Tseng smiled gently as the child once again grabbed his finger. "Yeah, I think so."


    They sat around, the three of them, drinking coffee and making conversation. Bria held Rufus in her lap, and Tseng held a sleeping baby Tseng in his arms.

    "How old are you, Tseng?" Bria asked out of nowhere, quickly adding, "if you don't mind my asking."

    The former Turk grimaced. "Actually, I just turned thirty. I thought I'd never get this old."

    "That's because everyone you were friends with were always so much older than you. You were sleeping with a twenty-four year old at fifteen."

    "And you were sleeping with a woman who was practically forty at *seventeen*."

    "At least I was almost legal," Reeve pointed out. "Besides, I built a city. What did you do?"

    "I was naturally good looking," Tseng countered, reaching for his coffee cup. "Besides, Scarlet is disgusting. At least Sephiroth was drop dead gorgeous."

    "If you like all that hair."

    The younger man chuckled, putting down his coffee cup. "Which of course I do."

    Reeve smiled and shook his head, then turned to his wife. "I'm sorry, Bri. I feel like we're leaving you out."

    "Oh, don't worry about it." She was rocking the baby to sleep now. "I like listening to you two talk. You're very comfortable with one another. It's very entertaining."

    "See? I'm good for something besides being a Turk."

    "What? You mean besides being a whore?"

    "That was mean, Reeve! If I wasn't holding this baby I would hit you!"

    "You would not."

    "No, but it's nice to threaten." He gave his friend that smile that made Reeve just want to lean over and kiss him. But instead he just zoned out staring.

    Bria spoke up then, bringing Reeve back to the straight world. "Sorry to interrupt, but I have a question, Tseng."

    "Oh, don't worry about it. What's on your mind?"

    "Don't bother asking him if he's gay, honey. He tries to hide it."

    "Ha ha ha, Reeve," Tseng said dryly. "Remind me to laugh later."

    She smiled and shook her head. "Actually, I was wondering if you knew anyone in SOLDIER besides Sephiroth."

    Tseng nodded, sipping from his coffee cup once again. "Yes, I knew quite a few. Mostly first class though."

    "Did you know my brother? His name was Zack. Zack Mainstay."

    Tseng seemed to go pale and he put his mug down. "Zack Mainstay?"

    "Yes, that's him. Did you know him?" she asked eagerly.

    Still, the former Turk looked uncomfortable. "Yeah, I ran into him once or twice," he said quickly, not looking at Bria at all.

    "I'm just wondering," she said, looking down at her now sleeping baby boy. "I never saw him before he died..."

    Reeve put on a frown and reached out to give his wife a reassuring pat on the knee.

    "He was a great guy, really," Tseng offered. "Really friendly, even if he was a bit of a loud mouth. Everybody liked him."

    "That's good to hear." She nodded vaguely in Tseng's direction. "Thank you."

    "Oh, it's late! I'm sorry!" Tseng apologized, glancing at his watch. "I should be leaving you two alone now."

    "Are you sure?"

    "Yes, Bria. Thank you. I've had a lovely evening. Besides, Ben's probably wondering where the hell I went." He ever so carefully handed the sleeping baby to Reeve, who accepted it with his eyes on Tseng the entire time. "I'll see you tomorrow, Reeve."

    Without even thinking, Reeve leaned forward and gave his friend a quick peck on the cheek, right by his eye. The former Turk blinked in shock. "Right. Tomorrow."

    After saying his good-bye's to Bria, Tseng gave Reeve one last lingering look before he left their hotel room.

    Quickly, Reeve left the room to put the baby to bed.

    Bria followed. "Reeve?"

    "Yes?" he placed baby Tseng down in his crib.

    "You never.....had a sexual relationship with Tseng, did you?"

    "Bria, please." He totally and completely avoided the question, not wanting to lie to his wife, and not wanting to come clean with it either.

    "I'm just asking. You two are *very* close." She placed baby Rufus down. He stirred slightly, but his eyes immediately fell closed again.

    "God, how lucky are we?" Reeve quickly changed the subject, wrapping an arm around Bria's shoulders as they gazed down on their sleeping children. "We have two beautiful children, the bar is opening in days, and my best friend in the whole wide world comes back from the dead!" He sighed, taking away his arm. "God, I still can't believe that he's back." Then he was quiet.

    Bria let the silence go on for a moment, before she grabbed Reeve by the collar of his shirt playfully and began to unbutton it. "Know what we haven't done in so long?" she asked, running her fingers over the skin as she went.

    "Uh...." stuttered Reeve, panicking slightly at her sudden suggestion. Why, all of the sudden, did this feel wrong?

    "You need to make love to me," she said. "You've celebrated with everyone but me." His shirt was off, and on the floor. "Now it's *my* turn."

    "Heh, of course, dear." He said uncertainly, wrapping arms around her waist.

    But that night the passion just wasn't there. It felt like he was just going through the motions. Bria seemed satisfied, but he wasn't. And as he lay there in the dark, a horrible realization came over the uneasy former executive.

    I want Tseng back.


    Tseng unlocked the room he was sharing with Ben and entered quietly, shutting the door carefully behind him, figuring Ben would be asleep. However, the accountant was sitting up in bed, reading one thing or another. He watched Tseng as he came in.

    "Well......?"

    "Well what?" the former Turk shed his shirt, letting it hit the floor.

    "How did it go?"

    "It went well." He stripped further before adding, "I met his wife."

    "Oh?" Ben raised an eyebrow. "And how did that go?"

    "She's a very nice woman." With a labored sigh Tseng crawled into bed, looking quite exhausted. "I just... I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous."

    "Of course." Removing his glasses and putting his book aside, Ben shut the light. "Do you want to talk about it?"

    "No... Not really." Sighing again, Tseng leaned over, resting his head on the older man's shoulder. "How long have I known you, Ben?"

    "Ten years," was the answer.

    "How long have you been proposing to me?"

    "Eight years." Sliding an arm around the darker haired man, Ben kissed the top of his head and added, "I think you know the answer I've been hearing by now."

    "Maybe...." he sounded reflective. "Maybe I'll change my mind."

    "Does that mean I should ask again?" the question was asked carefully.

    "Not yet." Tseng looked up at his friend. "Ben?"

    "Yeah, sweetie." He looked down and they met eyes.

    "I--I just don't want you to be stuck in a marriage with someone who can't love you back. I know what that feels like. It...it hurts."

    "I love you. We have a special relationship, Tseng. You said it yourself. We could make it work, you and I. And we would both be quite content."

    Yes, Tseng thought lazily as he wrapped his arms around Ben's waist with a yawn, but not quite happy.