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(Squall looks at Cloud,
Cloud looks at Squall. Squall blinks.)
Cloud:
(blinks) "Um....." (scratches his head)
Squall:
(shrug) "Whatever."
Tifa:
"Hey, Cloud. Who's your friend?"
Squall:
"I'm Squall."
Rinoa:
(enters) "Hey, b*tch! He's mine! Back off!"
Tifa:
"That's ok. I have Cloud!" (grabs Cloud)
Cloud:
"Um....." (scratches head)
Rinoa:
"Well Squall's hotter!" (grabs onto Squall)
Squall:
(shrugs) "Whatever."
Seifer:
(walking in) "Hey, Rinoa. What's up?"
Rinoa:
"Eww, get away from me, Seifer! I'm all Squall's!"
Squall:
"Um, whatever."
Seifer:
(mad) "Shouldn't we get to the picnic?"
AT THE PICNIC....
Selphie:
"Weee!! I love picnics, don't you?"
Irvine:
"I reckon so. Hey, Selphie, do you like pie?"
Selphie:
(as all the others gather around) "Yeah, I love pie!"
Irvine:
"I made this cherry pie for you. Fresh from the west." (smiles)
Cait Sith:
"Mmm, pie!"
Irvine:
"Get lost, @#$%! This pie's for Selphie!" (smiles)
(Selphie smiles back)
Cait Sith:
(hangs head) "Oh, okay. I know when I'm not wanted."
Irvine:
"Good. Now get lost!"
(Just then, eerie music
come on. Dong Dong Dong!)
Sephiroth:
(walking through) "The reunion is at hand!" (puts hand over mouth and laughs
with shoulders shaking) "I'm coming , mother!" (caped and hooded hunched
over things follow him)
Quistis:
"They follow you around too, eh?"
Sephiroth:
(looking at Quistis' Trepies) "Yes. Aren't they annoying?"
Quistis:
"Hell yeah!" (sighs with relief) "I'm glad somebody understands my annoyence!...Hey,
what a big sword you have."
Sephiroth:
"Size doesn't matter, it's how many people you kill with it."
Quistis:
(a little frightened) "Um, okay....Zell!"
Zell:
"Hey, Quistis, what's up?"
Quistis:
"Um, how've ya been? Haven't seen you for awhile...." (mumbles) "Hide me
from that psycho!"
Zell:
"Huh?" (to himself) "Hey, she's finally hitting on me!" (back to Quistis)
"Hey, Quistis, let's say you and I-"
Quistis:
(pushes Zell away) "As if!"
(Sephiroth walks away,
stepping on Selphie's pie)
Selphie:
"Hey!" (pouts) "You big meanie!"
(Sephiroth laughs.
Selphie cries)
Squall:
(standing abruptly) "Hey, that freaky tall guy's right! Size doesn't matter!"
Rinoa:
(in mocking disgust) "Ugh, what everrrr! Hey, Seifer."
Irvine:
"Um, sorry about the pie, Selphie. (gives her his hat)
Selphie:
"Tee hee! That's okay."
(Rufus and Reno walk
in and scan the crowd)
Barret:
"Sh*t! What the @#!@*&^$# is the Shinra doin' here?"
Cid:
"@#!$KHFDA&&#$(#&JFISA($!"
Barret:
"Thas right! Hey, Rufus, what the hell're you and Gilligan doin here?!"
Rufus:
(mocking laughter) "Relax, ruffian. We just came for some food and company."
Selphie:
(jumps up, runs to Rufus as she throws off the cowboy hat) "Hi! Tee hee!
We had some pie, but Sephiroth stepped on it."
Reno:
(suddenly alert) "Sephiroth?! Which way did he go?"
Selphie:
"Um...tee hee! He went that way! Tee hee!"
Reno:
(into his watch) "Let's move!" (runs away)
(Rufus gives Selphie
and sexy smile)
Selphie:
"Tee hee!" (blushes and bats eyelashes)
Rufus:
"Do I smell...chocobo? Yum!"
Selphie:
"Yeah, we have one roasting right over here."
(They walk to the giant
fire in Cosmo Canyon where a gold chocobo is roasting with an apple in
its mouth)
Rufus:
"Mmm, great!"
Cait Sith:
"Hello, Mr. President."
Rufus:
"gives Cait Sith a once over) "Do I know you?"
Cait Sith:
"Oh..." (walks away whimpering)
Selphie: "Tee
hee hee, Rufus, you're so manly!"
Rufus:
"Thank you." (smiles with sexy blue eyes.)
Irvine:
(who has been getting angry, storms over) "Hey, Selphie, why are you flirting
with this loser?"
Rufus:
(before Selphie can answer) "Because I have power in more ways than one!"
(wink wink, nudge nudge)
Irvine:
"Back off. Selphie is *my* girlfriend!" (lassos Selphie and pulls her away)
(Rufus angrily clenches
his fists and stalks away back to Midgar, where he loads the sister ray
and prepares to blow up Irvine. The shot is fired, but missed Irvine and
instead hits Cait Sith)
Cait Sith:
"WAAAH!" (blown to smithereens)
Everyone:
"Hooray!"
Barret:
"Hooray!"
Cid:
"Hor@#!@$&(!(@^$(ing ray!"
Tifa:
"Hooray!!"
(Quistis walks by followed
by her Trepies. She turns around to them and screams)
Quistis:
"Get the *!*^$*!@#$ @(*$&(#@& away from me!!!"
Squall:
(shrugs) "Whatever."
THE END
Selphie:
"WEEE! A big spaceship!"
Laguna:
"Now remember, we're a team! Unity, loyalty! Stick together! Love each
other! Right, son?"
Squall:
"Whatever."
Laguna:
(still stupidly smiling) "Good! I must go back to me demented lab now.
Ta ta!" (walks away)
Squall:
"Wow, that guy's on crack..."
Rinoa:
"Did I hear crack?" (grabs onto Squall's arm, falls all over him swooning.)
"Squall, this jacket's so manly....(runs finger up and down his arm)
Zell:
(stomping in) "Let's go kick some @$$! Yeah! Alright! Hoo-woah, yeah."
Rinoa:
"You @$$hole! Squall and I were having an intimate moment. Right, Squall?"
(bats eyelashes)
Squall:
"Whatever."
Zell:
"Hey, can I get some of that?" (looks Rinoa over, makes animal noises)
Rinoa:
"No!" (stomps away)
MEANWHILE....
Selphie:
"Hooray! We're going to blow stuff up!"
Irvine: "Yeah!
Cool!"
Selphie:
"I like blowin' stuff up and kickin' some @$$! Whoo-hoo! Yeah, girlpower!"
Irvine:
"Um, yeah. Hey, Selphie, let's say we go in the back and, uh, I lasso you
up, eh? Yeah?" (wink)
Selphie:
"No!!"
Rinoa:
(storming in as Irvine leaves) "What was that all about?"
Selphie:
(freaking out) "Oh my g-d I love him! He's soooo hot! Hey, how do you think
Selphie Kinneas sounds?"
Rinoa:
"Uh....right. I'm gonna leave now...(walks into another room)
Seifer:
(wearing a maroon silk robe and smoking pipe. He looks up) "Rinoa! I've
been expecting you..."
Rinoa:
"Gross!"
Seifer:
"Hey, lets say we recall some of those fond memories..."
(Squall aimlessly walks
in)
Rinoa:
"Squall! So glad you're here!"
Squall:
"Huh? Oh, whatever." (see Seifer) "Am I interrupting something?"
Seifer:
(begins) "Well actually-"
Rinoa:
(elbowing Seifer) "No, not at all."
(Quistis walks in followed
by her 3 guy Trepies)
Seifer:
"What's this, an orgy?! It was supposed to be me and Rinoa!"
Rinoa:
"Oh, ew! g-d no! Yuck! The only reason I slept with you the first time
was cause I was knocked up on margaritas!"
Seifer:
"Ohh..."
Rinoa:
"Besides, I'm all Squall's." (clings onto him)
Squall:
(shakes her off) "Hardly."
Quistis:
"Um, maybe I should have...." (looks kinda scared)
Trepies:
(in a bumble) "We'll escort you out, mistress....we'll help you to the
bar....yes, right away..."
Quistis: "Shut
up, you freakish annoyances!"
Trepies:
(again in confusion all at once) "Yes, your majesty....I'm sorry, your
highness....oooh, freakish annoyences--I mean, we'll get out of your way!"
(they
leave)
Squall:
"Hey, nice whip." (wink wink)
Quistis:
"Glad you like it." (cracks whip) "Maybe we can try it out sometime." (smiles)
Rinoa:
(angry) "Hey, back off chicklet! Squall's mine!"
Squall:
"Uh....no?"
Quistis:
"Make me, Crack whore! Sic her, boys!"
(Trepies jump on Rinoa
and start beating her up)
Squall:
"Shall we?" (walks off with Quistis)
Rinoa:
(under a pile of bodies) "Hey! She's leaving!"
Trepies:
(stop and look up) "Hey, wait!....come back, mistress! Wait for us!"
Seifer:
"Well...we're alone..." (winks with a sexy smile)
Rinoa:
"Oh fine..."
THE END
Selphie:
(bouncing around) "Tee hee! I'm so glad we got off for halloween!
I love this holiday!
All the candy!"
Irvine:
(dressed as cowardly lion (how cute! ^_^) " Alright, lil lady,
settle down, like you
need any more sugar..."
Selphie:
"Tee hee!"
Rinoa:
"I'm really glad you came up with the Wizard of Oz theme!" (dressed as
Dorothy)
Selphie:
(dressed as good witch of the north) "Are you a good witch or a
bad witch?"
Rinoa:
"I'm not a witch at all!"
Quistis:
(dressed as wicked witch of the west) (mumble mumble) "Yes you
are" (loudly) " WHO
THE HELL MADE THESE COSTUME ARRANGEMENTS???!!!"
Rinoa:
"I did!" (fake smile)
Quistis:
(mumble mumble) "Crackwhore..." (mumble grumble)
(Rinoa shoots daggers
at Quistis)
Zell:
(comes out in straw stuffed clothes) "Tell me again why I'm the
scarecrow?"
Qusitis:
"Cuz u have no brains."
Seifer:
"Then tell ME why i'm the tin man" (puts arm around Rinoa)
Rinoa:
"Ew!" (pushes him away) "Cuz your rusty!!!!!!"
Quistis:
"Well, c'mon, Squall, come out and show us your costume!"
Squall:
(behind a curtain) "No."
Quistis:
"Oh, come on!"
(Squall steps out,
dressed as toto)
Rinoa:
(grabs onto Squall) "Oh Squall, u look so cute!!!"
Squall:
(shrugs) "Whatever."
Quistis:
(whispering to Selphie) "Well he IS her lapdog."
Selphie:
"Tee hee!" (smile smile)
Irvine:
"Well, I reckon we best be on our way."
Rinoa:
"Wait! We have to wait for Laguna! We can't go to Kansas without
the mighty and powerful
OZ!"
Laguna:
"Did someone call the President?" (looks at squall) "Oh Squall, you
look so cute! Aw, my
little boy..."
Squall:
(rolls eyes) "Whatever..."
Quistis:
"Ok,NOW we can go!"
Trepies:
(run out dressed as flying monkeys) "Mistress, mistress!...Wait
for us!... You can't
go anywhere without your flying monkeys!!!..."
Quistis:
"DAMMIT!!! I THOUGHT I LOCKED YOU IN THE CLOSET!!!!!!"
Trepies: "Oh no mistress...
you can't leave us!... we need to follow
you!!!..."
(Rinoa smiles evilly)
Quistis:
(glaring at Rinoa) "I think this'll be one of the less enjoyable
Halloweens... it might
just end w/ a murder..."
THE END
*claps weakly* "Is it me, or are these getting worse?"
"Hey! These are funny! You just don't appreciate the humor! Now stop complaining and do the links!" *leaves*
"Damn
slave driver....
Do
you wish to go back to the parodies page? If so, Click
Here.
If
You Know Where The Black Materia--"
"Sephiroth! No commercials! Get back to work!"
*Grumbles* "Where's that blasted dragon....??"