True love is friendship - caught on fire.

   You are a Turk now. You work only for Shinra Inc. You are a Turk now, and don't you forget it.

    You are to do whatever Shinra Inc. asks of you, whenever you are asked and to the best of your ability. You are to never question your orders, or the authority that gave you those orders.. You are to work without questions.

    You are not to feel sorry or display any type of weakness. You are to be cool, calm and collected and efficient. Turks are serious about their work. You are to never look back and never thing twice. Turks don't cry.

    You are a Turk without question. It is your life now. You will remain a Turk, unquestioningly loyal supporter of Shinra Inc. until the day you die. Never forget it for a moment.

    They drilled the words into my brain, and I absorbed them eagerly. The training was simple at first. I was taught what it was to be a Turk, and what it meant to hold that position. I was taught the legacy of the men and women who had come before me, and how it was my duty to uphold it. The physical part, I was told, would come later. And it was to be difficult. I wasn't afraid. In fact I was rather excited. I wanted to prove myself------prove I was strong, that I could take care of myself. I knew that I wasn't weak. I just had to show it.

    The first night I spent alone in my new room was difficult. I unpacked everything Bryatt and I had been escaping with. His clothes and mind, the book collection, and, most importantly, all his writing. There were three notepads packed full of his words, and I was so happy to have such a big part of him still with me. As long as I had his soul on paper, Bryatt could never really die. I had more of him than I had of my family.

    But I was still terribly lonely. The first night was the hardest. I had grown so accustomed to falling asleep wrapped tightly in Bryatt's arms, his warm body spooned against mine. But Bryatt was gone now, and there was no one to hold me. There was only moonlight across the bed now, and I would just curl into a ball and squeeze my eyes shut, trying to imagine he was still holding me. It always failed, and often I would resort to tears.

    But despite my longing for Bryatt, I was satisfied with this new turn my life had taken and I greatly looked forward to being a Turk.

    Mr. Ewan and Mr. Vash took me to see the President. I had to admit I was very insecure. The office was enormous, and I was not prepared for the vast amount of space. Absently I brushed off my uniform suit, hoping I looked all right. I hadn't been this dressed up in years, and I liked the look of the sleek blue suit.

    "I'm glad to meet you, boy!" Shinra shook my hand from across the desk before seating himself. "Welcome to the Turks."

    "It's an honor to meet you, sir, and an honor to be chosen."

    "It won't be easy, boy." He told me. "I hope you're up to the challenge."

    "I am, sir." I wish he would stop calling me 'boy'.

    "We are going to be going to meeting with the other executives shortly, but there is something very important we must discuss before the meeting, however, and that would be your weapon."

    "Weapon?" I raised an eyebrow. "I was under the impression I would be using a gun."

    "All Turks must know how to shoot a gun with deadly accuracy," the President confirmed. "They are all required to carry one. And it will probably be the weapon you turn to most often. But I've been discussing this with your superiors, and we've decided it would be beneficial to train a Turk in the use of a sword. We believe you will be able to handle such rigorous training."

    I spoke with confidence. "I will work to the best of my ability for Shinra Inc., sir."

    Shinra smiled. "Excellent. You'll go far with an attitude like that, Tseng."

    Heh. He said my name. He didn't call me 'boy'.

    Nodding slightly, I thanked him.

    The President turned to my superiors. "Caljunain, Nicholas--you are being sent to Wutai, and must leave immediately."

    Wutai... I haven't been there since we moved. I wonder if I'll get sent there one day.

    ".......had the details sent to your office," Shinra was saying as I tuned back in to the world around me. "Do your best for Shinra Inc."

    My superiors saluted our boss, standing up at attention. "Yes, sir." With those as their final words they left the office.

    "You will soon meet all your superiors at Shinra," Shinra spoke up, turning to me. "There are not many groups superior to the Turks, but you will meet the executives who run the company, and then of course there are the members of SOLDIER, first class, who are on your level. There's one member of SOLDIER who rises even above the Turks, but he's a special case. There are five executives, including Heidegger, your boss, and there's me of course. There is a Vice President of Shinra, my son, Rufus, but he's only nine years old and is away at school right now. Have you been given this information already?"

    "No, sir."

    Shinra checked the time. "It is time for the executive meeting. Are you ready?"

     "Yes, sir."

    Numbly I followed the President into the elevator and we rode in silence down a few floors.

    "This way." We walked forward through a set of double doors, and I couldn't help smiling a little. I felt like I really *belonged*. I was no longer an orphan on the street, begging for life. I had come a long way from that, and this is where I had ended up.

    My eyes quickly scanned the room. There were five executives, just as I expected. One was a heavyset man with a scar across his face. He sat up front, next to the President's seat. Sitting next to the man with the scar sat a gangly old man with long black hair, wire framed glasses and a lab coat. He looked upon me with beady little eyes that made me feel uncomfortable, but I ignored it. Across from him was a strange, fat man with white hair and a cup of tea, and besides him was a blonde woman wearing a red dress that was cut scandalously low. Had I liked women, I probably would have stared.

    But it was the last executive that caught my attention. He stuck out like a sore thumb from the rest of the old and generally unappealing bunch. He was very young, no more than twenty five, wearing a blue suit and a red tie. His hair was black, slicked back from his face, much better to see his intent, dark green eyes. Again I got the same feeling I did the first time I laid eyes on Bryatt. This man was *beautiful*. I sighed inwardly.

    "I see you have a new Turk for me, sir," the man with the scar commented, standing and extending a hand to me. "I'm Heidegger, your boss."

    I turned to my boss and shook his hand firmly. "It will be my pleasure to serve under you, sir."

    "These are the executives I was telling you about," the President said to me. "You've met Heidegger, besides him is Quinze Palmer, head of the Space Program." He then pointed across the table and continued. "Here is Alexander Hojo, head of the chemistry division, Scarlet Calhoun, head of the Weapons department, and Reeve Leander, who built Midgar.

    Ah! I screamed inwardly. Reeve Leander! I've heard his name before! Of course! Oh boy, but no one ever mentioned how hot he is... My eyes widened as I looked at him. Oh and look at that! He's looking at me! He's probably wondering what my name is, or something. The President introduced them, but he failed to introduce me. Oh well. He's still looking at me. Oh boy, I should be listening.

    "...and so his superior Turks are too busy to train him," Shinra was saying as I paid attention again. "This poses a great problem, as he needs to be able to get into the field as soon as possible."

      Hojo, the scary looking one, asked,  "What will his weapon be?"

    Shinra informed him it would be a sword.

    The Professor sighed in annoyance, as if he thought the President was an idiot. "Then why not let Sephiroth train him? SOLDIER...Turk...little difference."

    Heidegger laughed, and I cringed at the horrible noise. Ugh. Better get used to that. "Ah, Sephiroth would be a splendid  teacher!" My boss congratulated the scientist. "Good thinking, Hojo!"

    Hojo could seem to care less what the other man thought. "Yes, well..."

    Sephiroth... Sephiroth... Have I heard that name before? I couldn't remember. He does seem important to the executives, and the doctor did mentioned he was in SOLDIER. I remember the President saying there was someone in SOLDIER even above the Turks. Could that be this Sephiroth?

    "Come, Heidegger," the President said warmly, putting an arm around the heavyset man as he got to his feet. "We have much to discuss!"

    "You're to come too, Hojo," Heidegger instructed coldly as he and the President proceeded to leave.

    "Yes," Hojo hissed, frowning as he followed.

    He does *not* seem happy. What a crank. I hope I can avoid him. I looked around. Wait, where am I supposed to go now? The President left, and my fellow Turks were sent to Wutai. Heh, yeah, I may have belonged, but was still lost.

    The woman in the revealing dress made a comment I didn't catch as she stood. Then she looked down at Reeve and said, "I'm going to go have a cigarette. I'll see you later, all right, lover?"

    Lover?! Lover?! Dammit! I couldn't help but be disappointed. Still, Reeve was still looking at me. Maybe he wanted to be friends. I bet he's as beautiful on the inside as he is on the outside...

    "Huh?" Reeve spoke for the first time, and he had a very smooth baritone voice. "Yes, I'll see you later."

    "Good." She kissed him, I cringed, and then she left.

    I was not one to judge on first impressions, but I didn't like her, and if she was in fact Reeve's girlfriend, I could already tell that he could do better.

    It was then I realized Reeve and I were the only ones left in the room, and he was coming towards me. I couldn't have held back my smile if my life depended on it.

    "Hello," he greeted me warmly, extending his hand. "Welcome to Shinra. I'm Reeve Leander, head of city development."

    "Tseng Tyutyuik," I answered a bit breathlessly, enthusiastically shaking his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir."

    Reeve almost laughed. "No need to call me sir. No one else does. It's just Reeve."

    "All right, Reeve." I'll call you whatever you want.--oh my god, I can't *believe* I just thought that!

    "Where are you from?" asked Reeve, "how did they find you? Not just anyone can become a Turk, you know."

    What to say, what to say? I'll give him the simple version. He just asked an innocent question. No sense in going into all the dirty details. "Actually, I'm from Midgar. They picked me up off the street. I had been living there ever since my family died in a fire five years ago."

    Reeve blinked in shock at me, as though he didn't believe it. "I'm sorry to hear that." He paused briefly before adding quietly, "I designed Midgar."

    I was only half listening as I looked down at the floor.  "Shinra saved me, and I'm forever in their debt. I will do whatever is asked of me, as long as...." I trailed off, unable to go on. Tentatively I glanced back up and met Reeve's lovely green eyes. "I'm sorry."

    He smiled at me, and I melted inwardly. "It's all right. Sounds like you've been through a lot."

    I only shrugged and told him the truth. "I lived the best I could."

    The next thing I knew his hand was on my shoulder and I thought my knees would collapse. Oh my god...he's touching me...

    Reeve said, "would you like to get a cup of coffee and talk a bit?" He winked. "I could tell you a little about what you're about to get into."

    My smile widened considerably. Would I?! I was thrilled beyond compare. Somehow I very calmly said, "Sure. I would really like that."

    And together we left the conference room.


    Reeve took me to a lounge and bought me some coffee, which I thought was very nice of him. Heh...Bryatt used to make me coffee sometimes.... Aw, fuck it. Why does everything have to remind me of him?

    I set my mind back on Reeve and studied him as we sat down across from one another at one of the tables. "You look to be pretty young for a Shinra executive," I commented.

    "I'm 21." Reeve took a sip from his mug and replied, "you look pretty young for a Turk."

    21... Gods, he is young. Still five years older than me, but that's not too much difference. I could feel myself blushing as I told him, "I'm fifteen." I shyly sipped at my drink. "I have not been treated like I am though." Except for that whole *boy* thing, I thought a little bitterly.

    I watched as Reeve thoughtfully took another sip from his cup. "Well that is something to be thankful for," he said finally.

    I replied simply. "I agree."

    An awkward moment of silence passed. I wanted to ask him if that whorish girl in the red dress was his girlfriend, but I held my tongue. I knew she wasn't his wife because he wasn't wearing a ring. There was still hope for his taste.

    "So," Reeve spoke up, thankfully breaking the silence, "you must be apprehensive....after all, you are to be trained by Sephiroth."

    Ah, good. Someone's brain to pick about this mysterious man who would be training me. Slowly placing my mug down, I looked up at him and said, "I am.... I don't really know much about him."

    Reeve told me, "I met him once, and that was a long time ago, when I first came to work here. I hear many stories but..." he smiled slightly, looking down as if he was remembering. "He seemed nice enough to me."

    Ah... Reeve... A small sigh escaped my lips to see him smile that way. He was so beautiful I couldn't stand it. Not that I'll ever forget you, Bryatt....  "I'm glad.... I too have heard many stories," I said stupidly, contradicting what I said before. Oh man, Tseng. Pay attention to what you're saying and stop gawking!

   If Reeve noticed my mistake he didn't act like it.  "What have they told you? About the Turks?"

    I looked up, becoming instantly serious as the job was mentioned. The Turks withdrew a different personality from me--the personality that had come over me the instant I felt that gun in my hand. "They told me I must be loyal, and do whatever is asked of me," I said sternly, locking our eyes.

    He broke into a smile. "It is what the Turks are known for. You'll do fine. And if you never need to talk or anything like that, you can always come by my office." He casually took a sip from his mug. "Consider me your first friend at Shinra."

    If I could have jumped around the room in excitement, I would have. Only that would have been very immature. But I was thrilled. On the outside I smiled in relief, feeling like I *really* fit in. After all, I had a friend. "Thank you, s--Reeve." Oh, crap! I laughed at myself. "Sorry."

    My new friend's eyes sparkled with amusement. "No problem."


   So I would visit Reeve from time to time, and we would chat as I waited for my training to begin. I really liked Reeve. He was very smart, and I never got bored of talking to him. He was a very interesting man, even if he did date that floozy Scarlet. I didn't like her, she gave me weird looks that made me very uncomfortable. Funny, but I could swear Hojo was giving me the same attention.

    I was excited and anxious about meeting Sephiroth. I had no idea what to expect, so I blindly followed Heidegger, wringing my hands and hoping for the best. I tried my best to calm my nerves.

    A door was opened, and we proceeded inside. I took a stand besides Heidegger, and he was the first to speak. "Tseng, meet Sephiroth. Sephiroth, this is Tseng, our new Turk and your new apprentice."

    I heard the President's words in the background as I gaped at the man to whom I had just been introduced. Truly, if sex was personified, it would have been the man before me. Sephiroth was tall, with long silver hair flowing over broad shoulders. His eyes were an intoxicating electric green, standing out like lasers on his pale skin. He had a perfectly sculpted body of rippling muscle, and I got a great view of his chest---only obscured by two criss crossing leather straps. I couldn't help being immediately attracted to him. He was the most gorgeous man I'd ever seen in my life, and *oh* I wanted him. I had to try very hard not to start drooling then and there.

    "Tseng." He repeated my name in his deep voice and offered me his hand. "I am most pleased to meet you."

    I shook his hand, trying not to blush or make a fool of myself in front of this gorgeous creature. "It is my pleasure, sir." My tiny had seemed drawfed in his powerful one.

    "Don't call me sir," I was corrected, "no need for formalities. I am not just to be your teacher, but your friend too."

    My insides melted. From my experience, people who instructed me not to call them sir turned out to be quite nice indeed. I thought of Reeve for a moment, in spite of myself.

    "Gya haa haa!" Heidegger laughed, and I almost snickered as I noticed Sephiroth flinch along with me. "I'll leave you both to training." He thankfully left, and then we were alone.

    I could feel my body flush as he looked me up and down several times. Why was it I had only know him for a few minutes and already I was out of my mind with lust for him. But what a fool, I thought to myself, why would this man--this beautiful man who could probably have any person he wanted---want a inexperience, scrawny kid like me? Besides, who even knew if he was attracted to men.

    "Yes, this will work out fine," he said. "I can tell just by looking at you that you will make a wonderful Turk." As he met my eyes I could not help but feel intimidated by his presence. "I do not want you to be scared of me," he said as though he could read my mind. "Like I said, I want to be your friend more than anything else. I expect you to be an attentive student, and from the looks of things, I think we'll get along just fine."

    Could he tell so much just by looking at me? I thought.

    "If you have any questions, I will be happy to answer them before we begin. Please do not be afraid to ask anything you wish to know."

    Do you like boys or girls? I wanted to ask, and that was the first one that popped into my hormone infused mind. Instead I said, "do you know Reeve Leander?"

    With a curt nod he replied, "more by name than I do personally. He seemed like a very nice person, however. Have you met him?"

    I nodded and told him, "we have become friends. I like him very much except..."

    "Except?" Sephiroth prodded. "Finish your thought."

    "Well, I'm not quite sure, but I think he's dating Scarlet, the head of Weapon's development." I looked down as I admitted, "I know this seems a weird thing to ask you, but I don't like her too much and I was wondering what you thought of her."

    "No question is *weird*," I was told. "I told you to ask anything. As for Scarlet, I do not care for her either. In fact, I wonder if your friend knows the truth behind her."

    "Truth?" I once again looked into those gorgeous eyes. "...something I could know."

    "Would you like to know how she got to where she is in the company?"

    I nodded, eager for information.

    "Why she slept her way there, of course. One by one. The woman is a blood sucking whore, for lack of a better term. I wouldn't trust any words that came past those wandering lips." His eyes met mine and he added, "if you are friends like you say then you should warn him about her. A good friend would do such a thing."

    I nodded. "I will. Thank you, Sephiroth."

    He nodded. "Is there anything else?"

    "Do you like working for Shinra?" It was something I felt I had to ask.

    "Whether I like it or dislike is is irrelevant. My question to you is that are you glad to be here?"

    "I wouldn't have turned it down for anything in the world," I answered honestly.

    Sephiroth turned away from me, and when he spoke his voice was so low I could scarcely hear his answer.

    "Yes," he said, "so is the way it always begins."


    Sephiroth and I spent a lot of time together at first. So much time in fact that I didn't have much time to have time with Reeve. I missed our time together, but I had to admit that I enjoyed my time with Sephiroth the sex god just as much. He treated me as an equal, he was an excellent teacher, and I was learning a lot from him. Despite all the time we spent together, I still found it difficult to keep my hormones in check.

    We would talk a lot about things. Sephiroth would continue to bash Scarlet, and I would flinch every time. I couldn't help thinking of Reeve. He had to know about her... And I had to be the one to tell him.

    I headed to his office, trying to replay in my head what I was going to say to him. I drew in a deep breath before knocking, and I heard a bang from inside before I heard Reeve call out, "come in!"

    I came in, a bit wary of the banging *and* of what I had to say. "Reeve?"

    "Oh hey there." Reeve was rubbing his foot for some reason. I wonder if he hurt himself and that was the banging I had heard. "Come in, Tseng."

    I stood at his desk and asked, "did you hurt yourself? I heard a bang?" Do you want me to rub your foot? I would *love* to...

    "Don't even ask," he mumbled.

    How cute, I couldn't help thinking. "Can we talk?"

    "Yes of course," he told me. "Sit down."

    I froze slightly as I did, trying to remember what I wanted to say but finding it gone. Instead I cleared my throat and said, "As you know, Sephiroth has been teaching me." Well *duh*.

    "Yes I know." Reeve put his shoe back on. "Is there a problem?"

    "No, no, no." The words were out of my mouth before I knew it. A problem? With Sephiroth? The only problem with that man was that he gave me an erection every time I saw him. "No problem," I continued, "it's just that..." I almost lost my nerve, but I took a deep breath and forced the words out. "ReevecanIaskyouapersonalquestion?"

    He blinked, and he probably thought I was nuts. But he just answered, "A personal question? I don't see why not. We're friends, no?"

    Yes, yes we are, which is why it shouldn't be so hard to ask this! "Well...um..." I avoided his gaze as I asked him, "are you sleeping with Scarlet?" My heart was pounding in my chest, and I was afraid he'd get angry and throw me out, never wanting to see me again. Oh god, what have I done?!?!

    Instead it was Reeve who looked uncomfortable when he answered, "was it that obvious?"

    I still couldn't look at him as I continued. "Sephiroth said I should speak to you about it."

    "Sephiroth? What does he know?" Reeve sounded a little upset, and I didn't blame him. I felt terrible for bringing this up, but there was no turning back now, and maybe it was best he knew, even if he didn't want to hear it.

    "He....he...he said to ask you if you knew how she got to where she is in the company," I stuttered like a fool.

    "No...as a matter of a fact I don't. Would you care to enlighten me?"

    I turned my head, and my eyes widened to the size of saucers as I realized how close our faces were. He was leaning towards me, and was so close I could feel his breath on my skin. This was the *last* thing I needed to cool my jumpy nerves. I tried to ignore the thought of how easy it would be to kiss him and instead I told him in a rush, "Uh...well, Sephiroth said that she got her job by sleeping her way there and she's a whore and you shouldn't trust her. That's what he said and I thought I would tell you cause you're my friend and I don't want you to get hurt." I would never want to see any woman hurt you, Reeve. Because I never would hurt you. Gods not ever.

    To my surprise he just smiled, tousled my hair, and sat back in his chair. "I appreciate your concern, Tseng, but that was a long time ago. People change."

    I was shocked. "You're not mad?"

    His reply was, "why should I be?"

    I admitted shyly, "I thought you would be mad."

     "Look, Tseng," Reeve said, coming around the desk. He stopped besides me, and I felt my skin tingle. "I don't want you to be afraid of me. You can tell me about anything."

    I quickly stood, locking my eyes with Reeve's beautiful green ones. Gods, I could get lost in these eyes and be perfectly content.... "Really? Anything?" I was a bit breathless.

    "Yes. Anything at all," he confirmed, a small smile ghosting across his lips. Oh Reeve there are times when I desire you more than Sephiroth. "Don't forget that."

    I swallowed hard, nodding slightly. Quite honestly I answered, "I won't."


    I went back into heavy training again. That meant I couldn't see Reeve as much as I would have liked, but my sword training was coming along very nicely. So Sephiroth said anyway. And I believed everything that passed from those beautiful lips.

    Another hard day of training over with, and I panted as I took a seat on the sidelines, wiping the sweat from my body. Hard to believe, but I was actually developing my muscles, and it was starting to show. I was very proud of myself.

    "Tseng?" Sephiroth stood before me, and quickly I looked up at him.

    "Uh-huh?" I was still out of breath.

    "I am going on a trip to Nibelheim shortly--"

    Great disappointment sank in...

    "--and I'm taking you with me."

    ...and lifted.

    "M-me?" I stuttered, unable to believe that this incredible man, this incredibly *beautiful* man wanted to take me--*me*--a little nothing of an orphan with a two track mind and about that many muscles--on a trip with him. Needless to say I was shocked.

    Sephiroth nodded. "I believe this will be a great opportunity for you. You are a natural Tseng. There is no doubt in my mind that you will be one of the best Turks this company has ever had."

    All I could do was blink in shock. Was it possible for this man to make me desire him *more*? Because he was doing it with every word he spoke. Me? One of the best Turks *EVER*?! The thought had never even come to me in my wildest dream. "T-thank you, sir."

    "Sephiroth," he corrected. "And the words are unnecessary." He offered me his hand, which I eagerly accepted, and he pulled me to my feet. "Besides, I do enjoy your company, little one."

    I'm surprised I didn't collapse right there....holding his hand...hearing those words...and that nickname....

    I had to tell someone about my feelings towards Sephiroth. I couldn't tell *him*...and Reeve *did* say I could tell him *anything*....

    I made up my mind. Reeve was going to know.

    ....And hopefully it wouldn't scare him.


   A deep breath entered my lungs and I knocked, heart thumping nervously in my chest. Should I always be this nervous to tell my *friend* something? It didn't seem right.

    "Come in!"

    I did, and I entered with a smile. Reeve's office smelled wonderful, like vanilla. Lovely. "Good morning, Reeve."

    "Tseng! It's been almost a week!" He seemed very happy to see me, which made me feel all the better. "Have a seat! Would you like some coffee?"

    "That's all right." I was quite content with smelling it. I sat, and cut right to the chase. "Reeve...I want to tell you something."

    "Go right ahead," he told me, lifting his coffee mug.

    Suddenly I was all nervous again. "......I....I hope it doesn't scare you." The last thing in the world I would want is to scare you away from me.

    "Why would it scare me?" He drank some coffee. "You can tell me anything, remember?" Again he went to take another drink.

    He's really sticking by what he said... "All right." I drew another breath, and let it all come out. "Reeve, I'm attracted to Sephiroth."

    I all seemed to happen at once. Reeve, obviously shocked out of his mind at my words, spat out what he was drinking and let the mug topple to the ground. The coffee spilled out across the carpet as I watched in horror. I *knew* that was not a good sign. Reeve looked at me, and suddenly it was as if I had five heads.

    I could feel myself sweat. Maybe he hadn't meant *anything*( after all. Maybe he meant normal things that normal people would say. Things like that were okay. I had to say something to him. The last thing I wanted to do was lose Reeve. "Um....sorry?" I offered, my voice sounding as weak as my confidence.

    Reeve leaned forward and whispered, "Tseng...are you gay?"

    Um, *yeah*! I always have been! I never found a woman attractive in my life! 95% of my thoughts involve going to bed with Sephiroth....or you.... But all I could do was shrug and look away. "Yeah....I guess I am if I'm attracted to Sephiroth."

    I was answered by silence. Then Reeve finally spoke. "Oh." I watched as he sat back in his chair. "Well that's fine," he continued, and I could scarcely believe my ears.  "Sorry if I scared you. I was a little...um...caught off guard." The coffee cup was retrieved and he mumbled something under his breath that I didn't catch.

    I was still trying to figure him out. "You're not....scared of me?"

    "Why would I be? You're not some kind of monster." He actually chuckled.

    I just blinked, still in shock. "So...it doesn't bother you that I like men."

    "No." He was perfectly fine with it now. In fact, he actually smiled as he added, "just don't forget I'm straight."

    I knew I shouldn't let that hurt me, but it did, like a knife in my heart. On the outside though, I simply laughed. "No, Reeve. I don't think that I could." I like you too damn much.


    I did not like being alone. Every night, when I was alone in my bed, I realized this. I was so used to having someone's arms around me, so used to feeling loved and needed. So used to feeling...well...Bryatt. I missed him, missed him terribly. I missed the way he would hold me tightly to him as though he wanted to let go...I missed how he used to kiss me, so completely...I missed how he would tell me he loved me and brush the hair away from my eyes as I cried. Now Bryatt was no longer here to brush away my hair and comfort my tears. In fact, he was so often the source of them. I know he had told me not to cry over him, but there was no stopping my grief, and my loneliness.

    I was choking on my tears tonight, as they flowed down and wet my pillow. Curled in the fetal position, I wished to be rid of this loneliness I felt. Bryatt wanted me to be happy so badly. And while I was content working for Shinra, I was not happy. I needed someone in order to be that. I needed someone who loved me, ....and more importantly, someone I could love back.

    I thought of Sephiroth. He was gorgeous, there was no mistaking that. He was also kind and intelligent. He treated me well, and never raised his voice to me. I was equal, despite my age. What was there not to like? I admired him greatly and liked him a lot, but there was no love there. Not yet at least.

    What about Reeve? I couldn't stop my mind from wandering once more to the dark haired executive with those sparkling dark green eyes. Reeve was....Reeve. There were so many things about him, that to name them all might take days. I wasn't even possible to pinpoint what I liked most about him. But Reeve was just my friend. I didn't love him.

    I only cried harder as I drifted off to sleep.


    "Tseng? Are you all right?"

    "Huh?" I turned my head. I must have seemed distracted, and I really was. After all I had never been to Nibelheim before, and I was quite eager to take in the sites. Sephiroth, however, had apparently been to Nibelheim a million times and was no longer impressed with it. I tried my best to keep up. "Oh, I'm sorry."

    Sephiroth placed a hand on my shoulder. "It's all right, Tseng, but you'll have plenty of time to look around later. For now, let's go to the hotel and get settled. It's late."

    Nodding I said, "all right," and followed him into the inn.

    I went to sit on the bench in the lobby while Sephiroth went to see the man by the counter. I was a little tired from the trip, and I wasn't really listening to their conversation as I leaned back against the wall, looking out the window at the trees.

    "....only one room, hm? Well, I suppose that will be suitable."

    The bit of conversation that drifted my way snapped me back to reality. Whoa...wait a minute...we were sharing a room?!? Me and Sephiroth were sharing a room?! Or rather I should say Sephiroth and I. Either way, I froze, unable to think as my teacher returned to me, the keys jingling softly in his hand.

    "Ready to go, Tseng? ...Tseng?"

    "Huh?" I looked up at him. "Oh, I'm sorry. Are we ready to go."

     "We are." His brow furrowed a moment. "Are you all right?"

    "Fine," I assured him, standing. My hand shook slightly as I indicated to the keys in his hand. "One room?"

    "I'm afraid so. Would you mind sharing a bed with me, Tseng?"

    Mind. MIND?! Me, mind sharing a *bed* with you?! I wanted to laugh it seemed so ridiculous that he even had to ask. Then I remembered that he didn't know. Instead I avoided meeting his eyes and just said, "no, no, I wouldn't mind at all."

    "Good. Now come on, let's go upstairs and discuss your training. I've mapped it out."

    "Yes, all right."

    So we went up the stairs, and I couldn't help but panic. I mean it all sounded great to be sleeping besides Sephiroth, but then I remembered the stuff I had been dreaming about lately. Perhaps this was *not* such the best idea. Maybe the floor was a better place for me right now.

    "Let's discuss the outline of this trip and your training before we turn in for the night, yes?" We stepped into the room and Sephiroth shut the door.

    That's it. We were trapped.

    Together.

    My brain was dead. *Dead*. I couldn't have discussed the weather. I was so nervous now that I jumped when he spoke to me. "Um....yes. Sure."

    Sephiroth sat on one of the bed and pulled out a small black book. "Come, Tseng."

    Like an obedient dog I all too happily came over besides the silver haired god. We sat close, shoulder to shoulder, and he opened the notebook and began to speak.

    I tried to listen. I really did. Of course I couldn't. There was no way I could concentrate when that powerful shoulder was pressed against mine. It was such an insignificant touch, but *such* a distracting one. If I felt so affected by only his shoulder touching mine, how would I feel with his entire body pressed to mine....inside mine... I moaned softly, lost in my thoughts.

    "....Tseng, yes?" The older man paused, shifting his beautiful glowing green eyes to my face. "Tseng? Are you listening?"

    I turned, mind slightly aware that I was conscious, and not dreaming, and that this was the real Sephiroth, right here, right now, talking to me.

    But I wasn't conscious of it enough. I immediately became lost in those piercing eyes and all conscious though flew from my mind. That is how the words, "You're so beautiful," slipped past my lips.

    My teacher blinked several times. "What?"

    I could feel myself die inside, and I knew I must have been turning many terrible shades of red as a wave of mortification washed over my shaking form. "Oh gods," I mumbled, backing away clumsily. What an idiot!!!!!!!!!!!! What can I say now?!?! "I---- I----"

    Sephiroth reached out and, much to my surprise, snatched my wrist. I froze, and my wide, confused eyes locked with his steady ones as he drew my body closer to his. I moved like a robot, convinced that this could not be happening. I wasn't sure what exactly what was going to happen to me, only that this couldn't be real. Not for me. Then he spoke the words I never thought I would ever hear pass my beloved teacher's lips. "You're attracted to me, Tseng?"

    Too shocked to even let a coherent thought run through my foggy brain I simply gasped, "yes, very."

    He smiled. Sephiroth smiled at me, a small, seductive sort of twitch of the lips. I was still frozen, dead in place, witnessing this expression I had never seen on my teacher's face before. Gently, Sephiroth reached out for me with his other hand and brushed his cool hand against my cheek. I let instinct rule me and I eagerly nuzzled into that hand I wanted so badly to feel. His skin was cold, and yet my body was heating up very quickly. "Mmm.... Such a beautiful boy, Tseng." Beautiful!!! He thought I was beautiful! Him, this gorgeous god-like human being with the incredible silver hair and the perfectly sculpted body and those eyes--god those eyes--THIS MAN thought *I* was beautiful. I didn't know what to think! And I *really* didn't know what to think as he took my captured hand to his lips and slid one of my fingers into his mouth.

    My head spun. How could this be happening? How could my fantasy actually be coming true? It was so overwhelming, so amazing. I could feel myself tremble as the man from my dreams elegantly sucked my fingers one by one as the overwhelming desire pooled behind my twitching thighs. Oh, I want you, Sephiroth... I want you *so* badly...

    When he was done with my fingers, my green eyed beauty pressed a gentle kiss to my wrist and looked into my eyes. "Has anyone ever told you you were beautiful, Tseng?"

    Bryatt. Bryatt had. He had told me I was beautiful a million times. He had also told me not to lose my virginity until I met someone I truly loved. And even though I was fairly sure I did not love Sephiroth, I was more than willing to be taken, and possessed by this beautiful creature. I'm sorry, Bryatt. I stuttered, "Am I?" as I was drawn besides the older man on the bed.

    "Yes. Yes you are," Sephiroth assured me, bringing our faces closer. "So beautiful, little one. Let me..." With those words, whispered softly against my skin, Sephiroth kissed me.

    I moaned in pleasure, mind reeling at the sensation that my lips were on his. Finally I had gotten what I had secretly desired since the first day we met. Eagerly, I let my head fall back and opened my mouth to let his probing tongue inside. My eyes were closed tight, savoring every moment of this glorious sensation.

    Sephiroth eventually did draw away, much to my disappointment. He ran his fingers through my short black hair. "You taste so  sweet, Tseng."

    I could not even open my eyes. All I wanted at that moment was to feel his lips on mine forever and ever and ever. "More kisses," I begged, "*please*, master?"

    My master chuckled lightly. "Gladly, sweet one." Again he kissed me, deeply and passionately. I still couldn't believe what was happening to me. What heaven, I thought. Let it never end... Oh gods, his lips are so wonderful.... I could stay this way....forever.... With a lusty moan, Sephiroth withdrew, and I was panting, eyes still shut. "Oh gods... Oh gods, Sephiroth..."

    With another good natured chuckle, Sephiroth shifted me so I was lying with my back on the bed. "Now, my little one..." Leaning over me, his green eyes glistened. "What is your desire?"

    Was he joking?!!?!?! I couldn't believe I was hearing this! He wanted me. Sephiroth really *wanted* me. I was going nuts at just the word desire slipping off that wonderfully skilled tongue. "I want to feel you everywhere," I admitted freely. "Master.... I want you to touch me."

    Sephiroth stole a quick kiss from my parted lips as he straddled me. "My pleasure, sweet one." In a flash he had me stripped of my jacket, tie and uniform shirt, piling them on the floor. All along I couldn't help but pant in anticipation, waiting for those long fingers to caress my heated skin. Once my clothing was aside, he ran his fingers over my slight build, pausing to pinch one of my nipples. I gasped. That always got me, and this time was certainly no exception. My master raised an eyebrow. "Oh? You like that?" He bent down and took the nub of flesh into his mouth.

    "Aaah..." I moaned, arching up to the incredible touch. "Oh, yes, master... I like this *very* much."

    His mouth strayed on my body, moving upwards over my collarbone and onto my neck. "Sweet boy," he mumbled, making me pant with need. "So delicious." Then once again he kissed me.

    "Mmmmm...." I couldn't help but moan my satisfaction, eyes falling shut once more. My hands drifted, and I tugged at his cape. "Take this off," I demanded, desperate to feel that skin against mine. I felt like it had been so long since I had felt someone else's heated skin pressed against my own. It had been too many lonely nights. "I want to touch you."

    My master left me alone for a moment as he stripped to the waist. Then he crawled over me again as I watched in awe. "Better?" he smiled, taking my lips again.

    I happily ran my small hands over Sephiroth's rippling muscles, moaning softly as I did so. He was so *built*. If I could only become *half* the man he is.... I pinched one of Sephiroth's nipples, squeezing gently, and I smiled slightly to hear him groan into my mouth before he pulled away from me, smiling.

    "You learn quickly," he commented, "but I should know that by now." His lips went back to my body, traveling over my chest.

    It was then the thought registered in my mind that Sephiroth thought I was truly innocent and had never been touched in such a way before. Technically, yes, I was still a virgin, but Bryatt had taught me well, and I was no stranger to sex. But I moaned under Sephiroth's ministrations, tangling my hands in those shimmering locks. "Master.... Sephiroth.... Let me touch you..." Not that I minded being fawned over, but I had always dreamed of touching him, exploring that beautiful form, and I wanted my chance.

    His lips played at my navel before going for my pants. "All things in good time, my little one. You're first."

    I was out of my mind, hands tangled in my own hair, and it seemed I could not breathe fast enough. Sephiroth stripped me and explored my body thoroughly as I moaned and trembled and sweat and thrashed beneath him, trying to collect some kind of thought. Impossible.

    Sephiroth licked the liquid from his lips. "You're so sweet, little Tseng," he murmured, nuzzling against my neck. I could feel his breath on my skin and I sighed as he began to place nipping kisses along my neck.

    I just stammered. "I--I... I... Sephiroth... That... I..."

    He kissed my jaw line lightly and whispered, "there's more, little one."

    "I want it." To punctuate my statement, I took his face in my hands and kissed him forcibly. I knew what it was all too well, and I knew I couldn't wait any longer. And as I broke the kiss I made it known. "I want you inside me."

    "Are you sure...?" He asked me between open-mouthed kisses. "Tseng, my sweet, sweet boy, it will hurt."

    "I'm not afraid," I whispered, sliding my hands down his chest. "All I know is I want you *so* much."

    And so I finally got what I wanted. I lost my virginity to Sephiroth, and I cried out as he took me, and made us one. I was his, and no one else's. The feeling was incredible, and it is one I cannot even describe, not even many years later.

    Afterwards I lay there, gasping, still amazed at what had just happened, and how quickly. I was trying to recover after all I had experienced. Sephiroth lay besides me, whispering sweetly into my ear between gentle kisses pressed to my skin.

    "Beautiful boy.... So sweet.... So pretty... You're mine..."

    Yes... I was Sephiroth's now. And although I was elated at the words, I couldn't help but feel bad about Bryatt. I would never forget him, no matter who I belonged to. Bryatt would always have a very special place in my heart. "Oh yes," I answered him, "yes, Sephiroth, my.....oh....beautiful master..." Sephiroth pulled me into his strong arms and held me tightly against him. I held him back, my head resting on his chest. "I....I worship you." I wanted to say 'I love you', even though I didn't mean it. I thought I would be able to manage the words, but I couldn't. For as much as I was infatuated with Sephiroth, I just did not love him.


    I could tell you in detail about the rest of my trip, but basically we made love. During the day he would train me, and at night he would be inside me, and I would claw at his back and beg never to be let go.

    Part of me longed to always be by his side, but another part of me longed to go back to Shinra Headquarters where I could see Reeve again, and tell him all about it. Yes, I was going to tell him. How could I not? But Reeve would be the only person I would breathe a word of this to. Not only was Sephiroth quite a bit older than me, he was also my teacher, and I don't think our relationship would be praised to any extent.

    Reeve was the first person I went to see upon my return. I was pleased to see Reeve looked truly happy when I walked into his office.

   "Tseng! I'm so glad to see you! Have a seat! I want to hear all about your trip!!" He was smiling broadly as he gestured to my chair across from his desk.

    Silently I took my seat, hoping Reeve wouldn't snap at me for doing what I did.

    "Well? Did anything interesting happen?" Reeve seemed eager to drag information out of me, and his green eyes sparkled merrily.

    "Don't fall off your chair, Reeve," I kidded, grinning at him.

    "You know me too well," he replied. I loved to hear him say that.

    Well, it was now or never. "Well, Reeve, I....I....I know you won't be happy with me, and you probably won't even believe me but..." I locked my eyes with his and said sternly, "You can't tell anyone, Reeve. Not a soul. I'm only telling you because I trust you and you're my friend."

    "Not a soul," Reeve echoed, sounding a bit breathless. "What happened?" He leaned forward slightly.

    I took a breath and blurted it out. "I slept with Sephiroth."

    Reeve just blinked. Finally he spoke, and I barely heard him, his tone was so low. "You're kidding."

   I trembled, panicking. Maybe this was all a big mistake, but there was no turning back. Not now. "No..... I....we....um....he found out I found him attractive and we..." I couldn't go on.

    "Only once?" He broke in, even though I was done speaking. "Just one night?" It was almost as if he was pleading with me, hoping he was right.

    I just couldn't tell him he was wrong, and I only managed, "Um..."

    "Tseng!" He exclaimed my name like a scolding father. "Do you realize you're fifteen years old, and he's what--he's older than me!"

    I spoke to him like another adult would. After all, I figured, the last thing I am now is a child. "I know. That is why you must not tell anyone." My friend looked away from me and I pleaded with him, seeing it as my last option. "Reeve, *please*. I don't expect you to understand. I can't even use words to explain why I need this. I know I'm young. But it doesn't matter." Yes, I can't explain. But I do know that I don't want to cry myself to sleep at night anymore. I need him. I need someone. I stood, staring at him. "Reeve, please."

    Reeve's beautiful dark green eyes fluttered closed and he said softly, "I gave you my word. I will keep it to myself. You are my friend, Tseng. My *best* friend. And I only wish to see you happy." I watched as he turned to me, eyes reopening. I just wanted to hug him, but I stood where he was. My best friend.... I was his best friend... The words touched me very deeply. "I apologize for my reaction."

    I just blinked at him, not sure what to say or do. "Understandable," was my final answer, and I turned for the door, mind working and trying to come up with something to say to him to show him I greatly appreciated his friendship. And as I reached the door it came to me. I turned back, and smiled at the man I looked forward to seeing each and every day--my friend Reeve.  "Oh and Reeve. You're my best friend too."


    I didn't cry myself to sleep anymore. Why did I need to? I had Sephiroth now to hold me at night and kiss me in the morning. And I was content. I truly was. But I still felt like something was missing. I still did not love Sephiroth. As much as I wanted to, I just could not.

    But, like I said, I was content. Sephiroth had a slew of nicknames for me, and while I liked anything he called me, my favorite was Venustas, which, in Latin, means beauty. He called me beautiful all the time in fact, which never ceased to amaze me. How could anyone as beautiful as him find someone like me appealing?

    And besides, there was always Reeve. I told him everything, and it was true, he was always more than willing to listen to me. And in turn, I always listened to whatever he had to say. We had a very good friendship.

    But my training was coming along well, and I was about as well built as a fifteen year old could get. Besides, I was to be turning sixteen soon... And try as I might, I tried to forget my last birthday. It was a birthday I had wanted to forget before it even began, but now I couldn't forget it. And I knew I never would.

    But I was cuddled in bed with Sephiroth that evening, quietly resting my head upon his chest, my arms wrapped tightly around him. I was thinking about my birthday, about my last birthday, and about the birthday's I had had at home, when I had a family.

    "Venustas?" Sephiroth was stroking my hair gently as he spoke to my softly. "What are you thinking about, little one?"

    "Nothing..." I answered with a small sigh, absently tracing one of Sephiroth's scars. He had far too many, but I was too timid to ask about them. "...just my childhood."

    "Your childhood..." He patted me on the back and sat up a bit. "Come here, sweetheart."

    I sat up and crawled over into my master's waiting embrace.

    "Now, tell me, what were you thinking about?" his eyes were on me, but I had to look down.

    "Not much..." I spoke in the same quiet tone. "Just my birthday's....and...my room."

    "Your room?"

    "Yeah... I miss it. It kinda.... I spent a lot of time there. ...I would love to go back there but..."

    "Hm." With one finger, Sephiroth tilted my face upwards so I was meeting his gaze. "I could show you mine."

    "Yours?" His? Sephiroth had never spoken about his childhood to me. "What was your childhood like?"

    "Hell," he told me. "It was horrible. But...if you would like...I will show it to you."

    "I....I would like to see it," I admitted. I wanted so badly to get closer to Sephiroth. Physically we were as close as two people could be. But emotionally, I felt we were still very far apart. "...I'm sorry to hear your childhood was so terrible."

    "....Not everything is all bad, Venustas." His arm tightened around me as he asked, "has anyone ever told you about Vincent Valentine?"

    "Vincent Valentine?" I repeated, scanning my memory. "No. Did you know him?"

    "He was my friend," Sephiroth answered shortly. "Just a very good friend of mine. He...ah....nevermind. Very well, little one. I will take you there tomorrow."

    "Thank you." I cuddled closer to him, finding I was very suddenly tired.

    "Unnecessary words, little one." he said to me as I drifted off to sleep. "Completely unnecessary."


   Sephiroth was very quiet as he led me to his room. I was just thrilled to be hand in hand with my master. I held his hand tightly in mine. Compared to his, my palm was so tiny...

    "Here." The door was opened up to a lab, deserted as of now, but we both knew Hojo was only away for a short time, and would be back here experimenting again. Sephiroth hated Hojo, and I didn't care for him too much either.

    Sephiroth led me to the only door, located on the right. He moved quickly, stringing me alone, his eyes set dead ahead as though it was too painful to look around. I couldn't help frowning. The door was then pulled open, and we entered. Then Sephiroth shut the door again.

    "Here," the older man said again, "my childhood room."

    I looked around, my hand still in his grasp. I was surprised at how bare the room was. My own had been covered in pictures of anything and everything that had interested me when I was younger, just his was only a bed, a closet, a window and bare white walls. All I did was blink in amazement as I finally broke away from my master to have a better look.

    Sephiroth sat down on his bed with a labored sigh. "Does this please you?"

    "Yes," I replied, enthralled. "It does."

    My teacher patted his lap and ordered gently, "come here, little one."

    I smiled and happily sat down on his lap. "Thank you very much for bringing me here." I wound my arms around his neck.

    He bundled me close, stroking my thighs and pressing his cheek to mine. "I'm so glad it pleases you."

    I knew I had to kiss him then. There was no way I could resist, so I turned my head and took his lips with a lust filled moan. Sephiroth shifted me so we were chest to chest and he opened his mouth to allow my tongue inside. My tongue passionately stroked his, and I moaned very softly as I quickly worked at stripping my partner to the waist. It was no easy task, but I had become quite good at it.

    Sephiroth's lips strayed to press against my neck, sucking gently but insistently at my skin. I could only groan and run my fingers through long silver locks, letting it fall like water. "Oh......yes, masuta..."

    He then stripped me of my jacket and shirt, his lips moving ever downward. I gasped for air as my teacher enclosed a nipple in his lips, wetting it before blowing a thin stream of air over it.

    "Ohhhhhhhhhh........" I bent my head back, murmuring words of encouragement as my hands roamed over his back, my eyes falling closed.

    "Mmm....so beautiful...." his lips were positioned next to my ear now. "Tseng... I want you to take me...."

    Immediately my eyes opened and widened. Sephiroth wanted me to take *him*? He wanted *me* inside him? I had never done that before, and I had always rather liked being on the bottom, but I was not one to turn down a request that Sephiroth made. Besides, I had to admit, it was something I had always secretly desired. "You?" Sephiroth's hands slipped beneath the fabric of my pants, and I immediately grew harder. "Oh.... Yes... Yes...anything. Anything you wish..."

    Reclaiming my lips, he shifted me again so I was straddling him, a leg on either side of that incredible body. Long fingers stroked up and down my bare back, tracing over my spine.

    I shivered and pushed up against his powerful form, moaning loudly into my lover's mouth.

    We were far too occupied with each other. So occupied in fact, that neither of us heard the door open.

    Sephiroth was the first to detect movement in the doorway and he broke away from the kiss, much to my disappointment. I had no idea what was going on. Oh my god, did I do something wrong? "Master, what---" I tried to ask him what the problem was, but Sephiroth only held a finger to my lips to shush me.

    "Hojo," he said sternly, he usually serious voice sounding all the more cold. "Leave at once."

    My eyes widened at the mention of that name, and I had to turn to see for myself.

    Sure enough, the Professor stood in the doorway, and he was staring at me with a predatory glint in his beady eyes.

   I hated the way he was staring at me, and I clung closer to Sephiroth, burying my head against a powerful shoulder.

    "Hm. I see you have a fetish for Turks," I heard Hojo comment. I then heard the door close, but not completely.

    "Hmmmmmmm......" my master made a reflective, but displeased noise, still stroking up and down my back. "It's all right, little one," he said firmly, bringing me away slightly and tilting back my head. Electric green eyes met mine and he said, "now...where were we?" And with that he smiled.

    And so I did take him. Just like he wanted me too. And it was just as incredible as I could have ever hoped. But throughout our afternoon of making love in his old room, I couldn't shake the bizarre feeling that somehow, someone, was watching me.


    Dear Tseng,

                    Meet me in lab 2B at 8:00. There is some medical testing that you must undergo.

                                                                        ----Sephiroth
 

    I looked at the note that had been slipped under my door and thought it was strange. I wondered why Sephiroth would slip a note under my door instead of telling me in person. With a shrug, I pocketed the note, figuring he was just busy. Checking the time, I noticed it was nearly seven thirty. I had just enough time to pop in and say hello to Reeve before heading up.

    Reeve.... He had more problems than he was willing to admit. There were times when he would just shut himself off and be so cruel, and I knew something was bothering him. Reeve acted like it was a big sin to cry. For me, it was, and I still did. But for him... I didn't understand why he couldn't just shed tears without feeling like less of a person.

    So I knocked at his door, and entered when I heard his voice. "Hey, Reeve." I grinned at him and went over to the desk. "How's my favorite executive?"

    Reeve chuckled. "I can't complain for a change. How's my favorite Turk?"

    "Satisfied." I grinned at him.

    Again he chuckled, "yeah, I bet you are."

    "Well, aren't you?" I teased. After all, look at that whore you're with...

    My friend shrugged and looked down.

    I frowned. Had I struck a nerve? "Do you need a hug, Reeve?" I really loved to hug Reeve. He was a great hugger. I know it may sound silly, but he really was. He always held me so tight and for long that if he had been gay, it would have been considered an embrace.

    "Huh?" he looked up, and his eyes sparkled. "A hug? Tseng, you just want to touch me."

    Oh Reeve if you had any idea how badly... "Don't flatter yourself," I replied jokingly. "So you want that hug or not?"

    "Sure."

    My heart leaped, and Reeve stood. I took him in my arms, and he took me in his, and then we were both still.

    This hug was longer than any of the others. Reeve had his head buried in my shoulder, and I didn't know what to think of it. I wanted so badly to run my fingers through that black hair and ask him what was bothering him so much. But I couldn't. Instead I just said, "Reeve?"

    He drew away then, shaking his head as if to clear it. "Um, yeah. Thanks."

    Thanks? I was confused. "Reeve? Are you okay?"

    "Yeah. I'm fine." He slowly went back to his desk and hesitated a good long before sitting again. "Fine."

    I wanted to stay with Reeve, but it was getting close to eight, and I really had to go. "Reeve."

    "Yeah."

    He looked up at me, and for a moment our eyes locked as they never had before. It actually shook me a little. "Reeve," I blurted out, "Reeve, you mean more to me than Sephiroth."

    My friend simply blinked at me in amazement, as if he didn't believe me.

    If he was going to reply, I would never find out; I left the room before he could say it.


    Easing the door shut behind me, I stepped into the lab. "Sephiroth?" I called. The place seemed deserted. Very spooky. I felt very uncomfortable. "Sephiroth?"

    I heard a click behind me and I swung around to see Hojo staring at me with the same predatory expression I had seen on him just yesterday. It scared the shit outta me. Somehow, I kept my cool and said quite calmly, "good evening, professor."
Hojo advanced towards me, and I backed up, feeling increasingly uneasy about the other man's expression. "Is something wrong?" I felt my back slam against the wall and I gasped, panic rising in my throat. I suddenly realized that note had not been from Sephiroth after all. I had to get out of here. I tried to move, but Hojo was suddenly blocking me, an arm on either side. "Professor?!"

    "If you say quiet, you need not fear for your job."

    My eyes widened as far as they could, and I could feel my stomach twist and tie in knots as the words hit my ears. My response was a mere whisper. "What?"

    The Professor laughed and leaned forward so his forehead rested against mine. "I want you, Tseng, you beautiful thing." His bony fingers brushed my teeth and I cringed and trembled. "And I am going to have you. And you are going to let me, or otherwise you will be fired."

    I didn't want hear this. Just when I had thought I had escaped sexual abuse, I was right back where I had started, only worse off. But what choice did I have? There was nothing I wasn't willing to do to keep this job. I needed it far too much. Without I would be back on the streets, and I would rather die than live that life again. "Y-y-you're going to rape me?" My voice was trembling.

    "I prefer to call it forced consensual sex," Hojo said. "You put up no resistance, and you stay a Turk. Do we have a deal?"

    Tears pooled in the corner of my eyes and I barely nodding, hating myself for having to give and for having no choice.

    "Ah....pretty thing..." He kissed the side of my face, his fingers going straight to unbutton my shirt. "I heard you yesterday," he mumbled against my skin. "Every time you moaned or cried out... I heard it. You're so adorable...so beautiful...so responsive..." My shirt was shed and his hands rested on my bare shoulders. "Ugh....just thinking about you makes hard..."

    I was crying, the tears coming silently from my closed eyes. You skeevy old man! I don't want to hear about how you masturbate thinking of me! Oh god oh god oh god I wish I was ugly. Then this wouldn't happen. Then no one would want me.

    I tried my best not to get off on what he was doing to me, but I couldn't help it. He fondled me through my pants as he kissed me, hard and rough, his other hand, pinching at my nipples and making me moan and cry out.

    "You like this," he told me as he sucked and bit at my neck. "You like what I'm doing to you."

    I couldn't help it. I was fifteen. I was hormonal. I couldn't control what I got a hard on for. If I could, I most certainly would not be getting one right now.

    So there I was, up against the wall, trying to hold onto it for some support, but only clawing it it's smooth surface. I was panting and whimpering, wishing I was doing anything else right now besides getting felt up by this creepy Professor. I tried to imagine anyone else's hands on me, and all I saw was Reeve, Reeve, Reeve.

    "O-Ohh.... Oh... Oh gods..." I bent my head back as he fumbled with my belt. "Oh no...please don't...please..." there were still tears in my eyes.

    "You want to keep your job, don't you?" He nuzzled me intimately. "You sweet, sweet thing..."

    I cried silently and did not answer him. Oh god... Oh god Oh god Oh god... I could feel myself trembling, and truly, I had not been this terrified since the fire.

    "Turn around."

    I did, and that's when I lost it. I sobbed into the wall, because I knew what was coming and I knew that I could not escape it. "Oh please!" I cried, hugging the wall. "Oh gods help me!!"

    "Quiet." Hojo unzipped his pants and put his hands on me. I shook uncontrollably, and it wasn't just from the tears. "You'll be crying out my name in a moment."

    And it hurt. It hurt more than anything else in world. I grit my teeth and sobbed. It was all I could do. Despite what he called it, I was being raped. If it wasn't for my job, I would have fought him. I would have fought against him like Bryatt would have wanted me too. He probably would have wanted me to fight against anyway, job or no job, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. There was only one thing in this world that seemed more important than this job. "Reeve... Reeve..." I was whispering under my breath, my eyes clenched shut as pain shot through every nerve in my body. "Ugh, GODS! Oh gods help me!!!!!"

    "Ugh... Shut up... Boy..."

    Just when I thought this was the end--that Hojo was going to....finish what he had come for and it was all going to be over, fate gave me a break.

    "HOJO!!!!!! WHAT THE *FUCK* DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

    My eyes opened weakly, and I laid eyes on Sephiroth, masamune in hand, with such a terrifying look in his eye, that if looks could kill, Hojo would have been ashes.

    "Oh... Sephiroth..." I moaned quietly, finding my voice weak with crying.

    "Sephiroth..."  Hojo seemed terrified by his presence as well, and he came out of me and let me go, doing up his pants.

    I fell to the floor like a limp doll and didn't move. I only trembled, trying to remain conscious.

    "Hojo, there are not even WORDS to describe what a terrible person you are. You don't even deserve to live!"

    I watched with half lidded eyes as Sephiroth advanced on the Professor, making slashes with the masamune. Hojo was backing up, shaking like a leaf.

    "You cannot kill me, Sephiroth."

    "And why is that you twisted BASTARD!"

    And it was at that point, I passed out.


    Sometime later, I woke up with a start. I had been dressed and lay in my bed, but I still didn't feel safe. I was in a haze of fear and was unreachable and inconsolable. I woke up screaming, and although Sephiroth tried to calm me, I only lay there, crying and repeating one name over and over again.

    "Reeve... Reeve..."

    "Tseng? It's over. Hojo won't come near you again. Tseng..." Sephiroth was leaning over me, his strong hands on my shoulders.

    "Reeve..." I shut my eyes. "I... Reeve..."

    "Reeve....? ....I'll get Reeve for you. I'll be right back, little one." He kissed my forehead and was gone.

    I cuddled the blankets and cried, trying to ignore the shooting pain in my backside. I was not sure how long Sephiroth was gone for, but the next thing I felt was a strong, warm hand taking mine and holding it tight.

    "Reeve... Reeve..."

    "Tseng... Tseng, I'm here. I'm here now. It's all right. Hojo's gone. Sephiroth saved you, and we're both here for you now. We won't let anyone else hurt you. "

    It was... It really was him. I turned my head and opened my eyes at last, my tears slowing. I looked into the face of my best friend, my beautiful, beautiful friend, and I couldn't not believe my eyes. "Reeve..." I was breathless.

    "Yeah." Reeve's voice sounded choked as he tried to smile. "Hey. I came as fast as I could."

    Words cannot even begin to express how thrilled I was to see that face, to hear that voice, and even feel that hand in my own. "Reeve!!!!" I sat up and grabbed him, sobbing into his shoulder and holding onto him with all my might. It was Reeve I needed, more than anyone in the world. Even more than Sephiroth. More than my job. I needed Reeve. And I didn't even know why. I just did.

    My friend held me back so tight, just like I knew he would, massaging my back so comfortingly. "I'm so sorry, Tseng.... So so sorry."

    "Reeve..." I purred, nuzzling him slightly. I could say his name a million times and not be sick of it.

    I saw Sephiroth kneel besides Reeve, and my master ran a hand through my hair. "Why, Tseng? Why didn't you fight him off? Why did you let him do this to you?"

    "I didn't....I didn't want to lose my job....he said I would...if I didn't let him....and I....I need this job so much..." I admitted, still clinging to Reeve as tightly as possible.

       Then I heard something I thought I never would. I heard Reeve cry. "This shouldn't have happened!" Holding me closer, he nuzzled my neck sobbed in my embrace. "Stupid *fucking* Hojo should just go die!"

    "Hmmmmm...." That was Sephiroth.

    "I couldn't lose this job....Reeve....I couldn't....I couldn't....it's all I have....I couldn't let...I couldn't let him..." I was babbling, wanting to tell him everything, to let it all out, but I wasn't sure where to begin....and where to end...

    "Ssh...." The back of my head was cupped in his hand, and Reeve said softly, "I understand you, Tseng. I understand too well."

    "The injustice," Sephiroth muttered.

  "How do you feel, Tseng? Are you all right? Do you need anything?" He pulled away to look me in the eyes, and mine met his just as before. They locked. And I don't know if it was the caring look in his eyes, or the tears coming from those green eyes, but Reeve had never looked more beautiful to me than he did at that moment. "I....I'm sorry I can't stop....crying...."

    "Cry, Reeve," I begged him. I could not restrain myself from taking that beautiful face in my hands and keeping our eyes on one another. "Please....don't be ashamed to...I will never think less of you."

    The tears kept coming as he spoke. "You...you...Tseng, how did you know I was just---"

    "I don't call myself your best friend for nothing." I actually managed a smile smile.

     "Oh gods, Tseng....I....I....thank you."

    "No...thank you. Thank you for supporting me and for being my friend."

    Reeve looked to Sephiroth before he turned to me again, and then slowly let me out of his arms. I wanted to hold him forever, but I knew I owed mountains of thanks to my master.

    "Sephiroth...." I blushed. "Thank you...thank you for saving me."

    For a moment he looked at me coldly, then right before my eyes he crumbled, taking me into his arms tightly, his head on my shoulder. "There is never a need to thank me. I care for you very deeply, my little one."

    "Yes....yes...me too..." I admitted. And that was the truth. I kissed his cheek gently. "You are worthy of a shrine...." Yes, a shrine. I would worship him to the day I died, but there was something he could never have...

    Reeve said, "Tseng...I'll see you tomorrow."

    "Thank you, Reeve, I owe you one." My eyes were on him as he was at the door, and I was so concentrated on him that I barely felt Sephiroth raining kisses on my skin.

     "No, my friend. You owe me nothing."

    And as Reeve left, I knew it. Sephiroth would always be the man I got down on my knees and worshipped, but I could never give him more. Bryatt had always said that I would find someone I loved, and he was right. I had fallen so deeply in love with the only man I could not have. My love, my best friend, but never, my Reeve.