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        With one last breath I broke free of the flames, stumbling into the night, lungs screaming for air. I had been on the brink of collapsing back there, and I had held my breath much longer than I ever could in those underwater games we used to play. The house we had just barely settled into was being consumed by licks of flame as I fell panting on the street, trying to force life into my lungs. It had happened so suddenly, the smell of smoke and the sound of crackling wood. Al I remember is running and struggling, not daring to breathe as I found my way to safety. Once I had ended my struggle, not a thought passed through my mind outside of realizing how lucky I was.

    Then everything else hit.

    Where was my family?

    I felt a sick, sinking feeling as my insides twisted, realizing they might not have been so lucky.

    Scrambling to my feet I scanned the area, straining to see in the darkness. I was hoping to see some sign of life, that someone else had escaped like had.

    There was nothing. Nothing but the charred wood of a building that had been my home for only a brief period. A wave of horror washed over me as I realized they were dead. My family was dead, claimed by the fire. My whole body trembled as I fell back to the ground, fists clenching out of anger, eyes watering out of sadness, and heart ripping at the pain. It was so much so soon. In a burst of flame, everything I knew was gone. My mind couldn't even comprehend it. The pieces wouldn't click. What was I to do?

    I pulled myself to my feet, looking once more at that which was home, at that which was my life. I didn't  know hot it was started, but I wondered how it would end.

    Without another thought I did the only thing I could. I turned on my heels and ran away as fast as I could, tears stinging my eyes. I had to get away, no matter where I ended up.

    Somehow I had survived. All I knew how to do was run from my fears. After all, I was just shy of eleven years old.

    I had no where to turn, no where to go. For days afterwards I wandered, trying to make any sense of what my life was now. I was cold, hungry and lonely.

    Often times, when my feet hurt from walking to nowhere, I would sit in an alley, bow my head, and cry, thinking of all I had lost in that fire. I thought often of my family and how things used to be. It was the only life I had known and never had I imagined what it would be like if it all faded away. Now I wished that maybe I had thought of it. Then maybe I would have some clue.

    One morning I woke up in a bed of flowers.

    I sat up, glancing around and trying to remember how I got to his place. My memory failed me. Somehow in my delirious state, weak from hunger, I must have wandered in here and passed out.

    I had picked a nice spot. The church was warm, and the flower bed was comfortable. The flowers were probably even edible, and I was hungry enough to try I picked one and examined it closely. Even if it kills me, I thought, I'll be just as well off as I am now. I opened my mouth to devour it when a screeching female voice interrupted me.

    "Ewwww!!"

    I paused, the only food in days inches from my lips, and turned my head. There was a little girl staring at me. I just blinked.

    "Don't eat my flowers! That's gross! And your smushing them! Look!" She pointed to where I was sitting.

    "I'm hungry," I explained calmly. "This flower looks pretty delicious to me."

    "Eww!" she scrunched up her nose. "Then go home and eat something."

    "I can't," I admitted, looking away as a sadness filled my voice.

    She seemed concerned as she asked, "why not?"

    I sighed sadly. "I haven't got a home anymore."

    A long silence passed between us and I didn't move, wondering what she would say.

    "I'm Aeris," she said softly, sounding a bit amazed. "What's your name?"

    "Tseng," I turned my head. "My family died in a fire a little while ago. This church is the nicest place I've been to."

    "It's real nice," she agreed, nodding. "And it's the only place flowers will grow in the whole city."

    I suddenly felt bad for picking one and sitting on them, so I stood, brushing the dirt from my pants. "Sorry."

    "It's okay," she shrugged. "More will grow. You want real food?"

    My parents had always told me not to accept anything from strangers. I think in this case they wouldn't mind. I nodded vigorously. "Oh yes."

    "Then come on." Aeris waved for me to follow as she walked towards the exit. "We'll go to my house."

    I walked besides her through the slums of Sector five. She talked a lot, but I just nodded my head without really listening, still shocked at the kindness she was showing me.

    "Here's my house!"

    The house was so out of place it looked as though it had fallen from another world. Contrasting to the ramshackle housing the citizens of the slums lived in, Aeris' house was large and luxurious, surrounded by a garden of flowers. I was enthralled. "Are we still in Midgar?"

    She giggled. "Course, silly! Come on in!" she reached for the door knob.

    "Wait!" I called before she could alert her parents of my presence. "Don't tell anyone I'm homeless, okay?"

    Blinking at me, she asked, "why?"

    "I don't want to go to an orphanage." I looked down as I said it.

    "Why?" she asked again. "Wouldn't that be better than living on the street?"

    I remembered all the books I had read, where all the children in orphanages would have rather been anywhere but stuck there, trapped in misery. I used to read a lot before it all went up in flames. To answer her question, I just shook my head no.

    "All right........" she replied, sounding somewhat uncertain. "I won't tell."

    "Thank you."

    "Come on! Mo-om!" She went inside, loudly announcing her arrival. I followed cautiously, carefully closing the door behind me.

    The woman I presumed to be Aeris' mother entered from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. "Oh, Aeris. I'm surprised to see you home so soon." She looked at me with surprised but not coldness. "Who's this?"

    "Tseng," she introduced me. "Tseng, this is my mom."

    "Hello." I was unable to look anywhere but at the floor.

    "He's hungry mom," Aeris told her mother. "Think he could have something to eat?"

    The older woman was silent for a moment as she studied me. And by the look that came over her face, I think she knew what I was. "Certainly. Please sit down."

    I looked down again as I thanked her and took a seat besides Aeris as her mother disappeared back into the kitchen.

    "So, how old are you?"

    "Ten. But I'll be eleven soon."

    "Wow! You're old! I'm four!" she announced cheerfully.

    "Four?" I blinked. "I thought you were like six."

    Aeris giggled. "Nope! Four!"

    "Hm." I looked down at my hands which were resting folded on the table. There was the smell of something delicious wafting in from the kitchen. My stomach growled embarrassingly loud and I could feel a blush creep up on my cheeks.

    "You really *are* hungry." Aeris commented.

    Her mother returned with bowls of soup, and my mouth watered as she set it in front of me. "Here you are. Enjoy!"

    "Thank you," I said quietly, barely containing my excitement as I dug into the delicious smelling meal. I ate as slowly as I could, and Aeris mostly observed me, rather than eating her own soup.

    She was quiet as I devoured three bowls of soup, making sure to frequently thank the woman who had so generously let me into her home.

    "Are you going to go now?" Aeris looked concerned as she asked.

    I nodded. "I guess so. Thanks a lot for letting me come."

    "Maybe you could stay," she suggested. "Maybe you could sleep over."

    Shaking my head I got back to my feet. "Tell your mother thank you once again."

    She looked sad as she asked. "Where will you go?"

    I shrugged my shoulders. "Look for somewhere to go."

    "Come back here," she told me. "Whenever you want, okay?"

    I met her eyes. "All right."

    A smile reappeared on her lips. "Good! Cause we're friends now."

    I couldn't help smiling back.

    I suffered greatly those years. Sometimes I wondered how I was able to survive these conditions at all. The streets of Midgar were cold and dangerous. I often found I had to steal food to live another day. Every time I was reduced to doing so, the guilt ate away at my conscience. I shouldn't have had to live this way, but there was no other way for me.

    I thought a lot about the fire, about how it felt like I still wasn't free of it. I was still running from it, and I didn't know if I would ever get out. I used to ponder the ways it could have happened, and I shuddered as I remembered my father's smoking. He would smoke constantly, most often when he was working. I ultimately came to the conclusion that it was one of his cigarettes that had killed us all. I was still alive, but that fire had taken my life with everyone else's.

    Whenever things were at their worst, I would turn to Aeris. Her and her mother were always so kind and welcomed me with open arms. It was always difficult to go back to the streets after spending time there. Aeris never made it easier. She would beg me stay. We had become good friends over the almost five years we had known one another. It seemed a little strange that a nearly fifteen year old boy and an eight year old girl were so close, but Aeris was no eight year old. She would often tell me how she heard the planet speaking to her in the church of the slums. I knew there was something special about her, but I wasn't sure what it was. If she knew, she never said anything to me.

    "I think I should get a job." We sat at the table eating cookies her mother had baked for us. Nothing beat fresh out of the oven chocolate chip.

    She blinked at me with wide eyes. "A job? Where?"

    I shrugged as I reached for another cookie. "I don't know. But someone must wanna hire a teenage boy willing to do anything." I lowered my voice. "I can't live on the street anymore. I gotta get out."

    Aeris frowned at me. "I *told* you you could stay here, Tseng! Why won't you? My mother won't mind. She adores you!"

    Shaking my head, I just told her, "no," as I always did.

    There was nothing but silence as she simply picked at her cookie. "I don't understand you," she finally mumbled.

    I made no reply for a few moments. Then out of nowhere, I said, "I think I might go to Wall Market."

    "Wall Market?" Her eyes were on me again. "Tseng..." she scrunched up her nose. "My mother said that's a seedy area."

    "It's the only place where people have money besides the plate," I reminded her. "And I don't think I can just go up to Shinra Headquarters, bang on the door and ask for a job."

    "I don't like Shinra anyway," Aeris whispered, mostly to herself but I heard her. Then she looked up, brow furrowed. "Tseng?"

    "Yes?" I felt a little wary all of the sudden.

    "What was your life like before?"

    I froze. "Before what? The fire?"

    "Yes," she hesitated briefly. "You never told me much about your family."

    "You never asked," I pointed out.

    "I was scared too." She looked away. "I thought it might upset you."

    It does upset me. But at the same time, I like to talk about them. It's as if they're alive again. "It's all right, Aeris. You can ask about them." I finished the last of my cookie. "What is it you wish to know?"

    Her green eyes met mine. "Tell me about a memory you have, Tseng. A happy one. One that makes me smile."

    "Hm." I shut my eyes, letting my mind to drift to happy times that seemed so far away. For a long moment, I was silent, waiting for the clearest memory to claim my mind. "I used to live in Wutai," I explained, and I told her my story.

    Leven, my brother, and one year older than me. Cari, my sister, was a year older than him. I was the youngest. I was quiet, and spent much of time reading. Leven was loud and a risk taker. Cari was the ideal big sister. Leven used to tease me often, but it was always in jest. I couldn't have asked for better siblings.

    "Come on, Tseng! Put that silly book down and come play outside with his!" Leven grinned as he grabbed the book and held it over my head.

    "Leave him alone!" Cari scolded, retrieving the book and handing it back. "Here you go, Tsengy. Don't let him bully you."

    I smiled. "Thank you."

    "Was not bullying him!" Leven protested, pouting as he crossed his arms. "I just wanted him to come!"

    "Did you try asking nicely?" she smiled.

    My brother laughed. "Now what would I do that for?"

    I smiled too, placing down my book. "Well when you put it that way, what choice do I have?"

    Leven's grin widened, and he punched me gently in the shoulder as he stood. "That's the spirit, kid!"

    "Kid?" I raised an eyebrow. "I'm a year younger than you!"

    "You're it!" Leven laughed as he tagged me and took off into the backyard.

    Cari laughed, following. "Come on, Tsengy! What're you waiting for?"

    I grinned and took off after Leven. He knew I was faster, and I caught him quickly. "How's that for a *kid*?" I laughed.

    "Eh, I *let* you catch me," he lied, grinning at me.

    "No way!" I protested. "You're just mad cause I'm faster than you."

    "Like you actually need to be able to run fast. That's not going to help you in life."

    "Tseng?"

    I could hear Aeris' voice as I stopped in the middle of the memory, bowing my head and trying not to cry. I silently cursed myself for having such a vivid memory. Oh yeah, Leven? Running fast is why *I'm* alive, and why *you* are not.

    "Are you all right, Tseng?" She was at my side, a small, delicate hand on my arm. "I didn't want to upset you!"

    I was crying. "I escaped cause I was fast," I whispered, voice choked by the tears. I wiped them away, embarrassed at crying in front of the young girl. "He was wrong... So wrong..."

    Arms went around me, and I could feel Aeris' cheek against my shoulder. "Don't cry, Tseng. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad."

    I shook my head. "It's not your fault."

    She pulled on my hand. "Come on, Tseng. It's getting late. Why don't you sleep over?" I let her pull me to my feet. "You can have a nice rest."

    With a vague nod I gave in, and allowed her to lead me up the stairs.

    "Tsengy?"

    "Cari?" My eyes fluttered open, and I turned to lay eyes on Aeris' face, even paler in the moonlight. "Oh, Aeris. Is something wrong?"

    "Your family doesn't want you to be sad, Tseng. They love you."

    My black eyes searched out her green ones. "Aeris... How do you know this?"

    "I can....feel it."

    I didn't know how I was supposed to reply. My mouth was dry and my mind was a blank.

    Then she leaned over and kissed me, very lightly on the forehead. My eyes widened in shock. "Aeris?"

    "There are few people who know me better than you do, Tseng. Find your life again."

    I couldn't force my eyes open, and I drifted back to sleep. The next morning I wondered if it was all just a dream...

    There were far more men than women, I noticed as I looked around and headed North. I knew this was a seedy part of town, but I was beginning to wonder if all the women in the town were whores.

    It was by chance that a sign caught my eye. The word WANTED jumped out at me, and I went over to read the print underneath.

    It almost seemed too good to be true, and I stood and gawked at it for a second. 10 gil an hour *and* room and board? I didn't care in the least what 'odd jobs' encompassed. I was prepared to lick the floor of every room clean  for something so great. Giddy with excitement, I ripped the sign off and inquired where the Corneo Mansion was. I got a strange look from the man I asked, but he pointed North, and I practically ran there, my heart pumping with a joy long since dormant. My hopes had shot up into the heavens, and I knew I had to have this job or die.

    There was a man standing outside, and I approached him.

    "I'm here for the job." I smiled hopefully.

    He gave me a weird look. "The Don's not into little boys. You'll have to go to Sector eight for that."

    I blinked. "What? No, I'm here for this job." I handed him the flyer.

    His eyes glazed over it. "Oh! Right!" He chuckled. "Sorry 'bout that. Go on in and tell the guy at the desk why you're here." He returned the paper to me.

    I thanked him and went in.

    I felt dwarfed by the size of the massive room, and my eyes grew wide, wondering how anyone could be this rich.

    "May I help you?"

    The voice of the man behind the desk brought me back to reality and I went to him, holding out the flyer. "I'm here for the job."

    He took the flyer and looked it over. "Ah, yes. The job. Your name?"

    "Tseng Tyutyuik."

    "Your age?"

    "Fourteen. But I will be fifteen very soon."

    He looked up, peering at me over his glasses. "Your parents?"

    "Dead."

    He nodded and said, "you're hired."

    The words were music to my ears. A wide grin spread across my face and I felt like doing back handsprings around the room. "Wow! Thank you, sir! Thank you very much!"

    The old man remained subdued. "You'll work with Bryatt. He'll show you the ropes around here." He turned and called the name.

    "Yeah? What's up?"

    I felt my jaw drop as I laid eyes upon the boy that had just entered the room. He looked a bit older than me, but not much taller. His brown hair was a bit messy and he had large light blue eyes that sparkled as the light reflected off them. My eyes drifted over his sinewy form, clad in tight jeans and a gray polo shirt. There was a stirring in my blood like I never felt before in my life, and I felt myself growing flushed. Oh my god, I realized with shock, I'm attracted to another guy!

    "Bryatt," said the old man, "meet Tseng, your new partner."

    Bryatt threw me a lopsided grin and I thought my knees would give and I would melt into a puddle. "Hey, Tseng. Great to meet ya."

    "Ni-nice to meet you too," I stuttered as I felt myself blushing.

    The old man handed me fifty gil. "Here's some money for some new clothes. Bryatt will take you shopping after he shows you to your room."

    I swallowed nervously, ears perking up at the word 'your'. "Wait, what?"

    "We have to share a room," Bryatt said to me. "The Don ain't nice enough to give us our own."

    "That's enough. You're lucky you get anything at all you ungrateful brat," snapped the old man.

    "Yeah, yeah. Come on Tseng." He headed back out the way he had come.

    I hurried after him. It is said that without struggle there is no progress. My struggle was behind me now, and all I could see what the bright white light of progress, and a new life.

    "I'm fourteen, but I'll be fifteen soon," I told you. "How old are you?"

    "Sixteen. Orphan all my life. Been working for the Don about three years now, so there isn't anything I don't know."

    "Were you in an orphanage?" I couldn't help but ask.

    He nodded solemnly. "Worst years of my life. Once I ran away I felt so free..."

    "I'm an orphan too," I explained. "I've been living on the street since my parents died in a fire when I was ten."

    "It's a tough life livin' on the street. This job's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I may complain, but we're treated pretty good." He pushed the door open. "Welcome to your new home."

    Home. The word sounded good to my ears. The room was small and basically bare. There was a pile of clothes in the corner and some books scattered about the floor. Against the wall was a single bed, neatly made. "One bed?" I felt myself tremble.

    "Yeah," Bryatt chuckled as he replied. "Does that gross you out? Sleeping with another guy?"

    I shook my head no before I even thought.

    He smiled at me and went in. "Good."

    I followed, a bit timidly, holding the fifty Gil the man had given me tightly in my hand. I looked down at the books on the floor, reading the covers. "I've read the most of these," I said quietly, eyes glancing over the familiar titles.

    "Oh, really? So you like to read too, huh?"

    I nodded yes and added, "but I haven't read in a long time. No since I've been on the street."

    "Well that sucks," Bryatt was looking around the floor for something. "Books are the best thing for getting your mind off life." He continued his search in silence for a moment. "I bet I have something here you haven't read...."

    My eyes stopped on an unfamiliar volume, and I stooped to pick it up, my eyes widening in shock at the cover.

    There were two guys.

    They were kissing.

    I couldn't take my eyes off it.

    "Oh, so you found me out." He laughed. "Bet your scared now, huh?"

    "What's this about?" I couldn't restrain myself from opening the book.

    Bryatt was silent a moment, out of shock I think. He came to my side and closed the book gently. He turned to look at me and I in turn turned back to look at him, my eyes wide with the only innocence I still possessed. "Like boys?"

    I was lost in his eyes a moment, before I turned away, blushing again. "I...I don't really know... I never thought about it before..." Not until you walked into my life.

    "Hmn." A smile crossed his lips. "Then maybe you better read this. It'll teach you a thing or two."

    I couldn't *wait* to read it. I didn't know much about sex at all, but I was hungry to learn. "Ah... All right."

    He took it from me and tossed it on the bed. "Great. But right now, we have to buy you some new clothes."

    I told him, "it's been a long time I've gotten new clothes."

    Bryatt put a hand on my shoulder. "Well, Tseng, everything changes eventually."

    "This is about 50 Gil worth," he decided once he had a stack. Handing it to me, he instructed. "Go try it on. And come out once you're dressed. I want to see how you look."

    I just nodded, and went in the dressing room. Placing the clothes down on the bench, I turned and faced my own reflection in the mirror.

    It had been a long time since I had looked at myself, black eyes contrasting with pale skin. My black hair was short, mostly thanks to Aeris' mother, who always was kind enough to cut it for me. I looked a bit older than my fourteen almost fifteen years. I could probably pass for seventeen if I had to.

    My mind drifted to the older boy waiting for me to dress outside. Bryatt was beautiful, and I couldn't help being attracted to him. I had never given a thought to sexuality before, mostly because I had been too concerned with just staying alive. But as soon as he walked into the room, I remember the way I felt and again my body tingled. I knew men were supposed to like girls, so why were thoughts of another guy making me weak in the knees? I remembered the book Bryatt had in the room and wondered if he liked guys too...

    "Tseng, you changing?"

    I jumped. "Uh, yes!" I called, a bit startled. I reached for the clothes and dressed quietly in some jeans and a black polo shirt, smiling at my reflection. Bryatt had picked me clothes just like his.

    Timidly I pulled the curtain back. He was leaning against the opposite wall, smiling as he always was. "Well...?" I felt another blush creep up on my cheeks as he looked at me, and I quickly shifted my eyes to the floor.

    "Hmm..." He came over to me. "Turn around, Tseng."

    I did, and looked straight ahead, looking at both of us in the mirror. He was behind me, straightening my shirt out. His fingers brushed my skin through the fabric and it was as if an electric shock passed through my body. A small cry escaped my lips, and I leaned back into him. "Bryatt..."

    He gripped my shoulders, and I felt his lips by my ears. "Yes?"

    My knees were shaking, but I somehow managed my question, rather nervously. "Do you...um...like boys?"

    "If I said yes, would that scare you?"

    "N-no..." I got the words out, despite my shaking voice.

    "I thought it would be obvious when you saw that book," he commented, still whispering in my ear.

    I moaned softly, reveling in the feeling of his breath on me. "I'm so naive..."

    He released me then, much to my disappointment. "Better try the rest of the clothes on. Then we can go back and I can show you around the Don's."

    With a nod, I went back in and quickly drew the curtain, trying to catch my breath. I had heard the term 'gay' used before, referring to people attracted to same sex as themselves.

    Oh my god... I thought, turning back to my reflection in the mirror. That's me.

    That night, alone in the room, I slipped into my new boxer shorts, still amazed at how I had a roof over my head. The concept was so foreign to me. I finally escaped. With a smile I stepped into bed, picking up the book from before. I stared at the cover another moment, and then opened it, beginning to read a little nervously.

    I was about twenty pages into it, when I had to put it down. I crossed my legs, and wondered how written words could make me pant like this. Maybe I was in over my head.

    I loved it.

    Just before I could pick it up again, Bryatt entered, making me jump a mile.

    "Oh, Bryatt!" the book flew out of my hands and landed closed on the floor.

    He grinned at me and stripped down to his own boxers. "Sorry to scare you. It's good reading, huh?"

    I was still panting. "It's not like anything I've ever read."

    Bryatt picked it up and handed it to me, climbing into bed besides me. "Like it?"

    I nodded vigorously, taking the book back. "Yeah." I blushed, looking away from him as I opened it. "This is all happening so fast..."

    He chuckled as he gestured to my crossed legs. "Are we discovering something we didn't know we had?"

    I felt myself blush further. "Well, I...I never knew about all this stuff before."

    Bryatt leaned back against the pillows. "Everyone has to learn about it sometime."

    My eyes wandered from the book to *him* and back again, still blushing. There was a question I was dying to ask him, but I held my tongue.

    It didn't matter. He noticed my wandering eyes and grinned at me, blue eyes sparkling. "What is it? Something on your mind?"

    I blushed further, hanging my head. "I was just wondering... Is kissing really as nice as it says in the book?"

    "Ooh..." he sighed, holding his hands on his lap. "Yes. It's a very nice feeling."

    "...Have you kissed a lot of people?" I couldn't help asking, finally getting the courage to look at him.

    His eyes closed. "Not a lot, but a good amount."

    Placing the book aside, I leaned closer to him, whispering his name softly.

    Light blue eyes flickered open and focused on me. "Yes?"

    "Will you.... Will you kiss me?" I requested softly, face red with embarrassment.

    He seemed surprised, and his eyes widened. "Tseng... You hardly know me."

    Putting a hand on his arm my eyes pleaded with him. "Please, Bryatt. Kiss me. I want to feel what it's like... If it's like in the book."

    "Hmn." He said nothing as he gently took my face in his hands, leaning in towards me. Then he was still as he searched my eyes. "Are you sure?"

    "Yes," I begged, shutting my eyes, and bending my head back, ready to receive his kiss. "Please."

    And he did. I felt his lips touch mine, tentatively at first, and then he took them in his. Another electric like shock passed through my body and I put my arms around him, whimpering softly as my mouth opened, hungry for the feel of his tongue in my mouth.

    I got my wish as his tongue slipped past mine. Mine met his tentatively at first, a bit scared at such intimate contact, but then I returned the gesture, stroking my tongue against his. Soft moans escaped my throat as pure passion flowed through my veins. It was just like in the book, if not better.

    Bryatt parted our lips gently, my face still gently cupped in his hands.

    I kept my eyes closed, panting softly as my blood throbbed in my veins.

    "Did you enjoy that?" he asked softly.

    I moaned with a slight nod.

    For a moment he was quiet. "Do you want me to kiss you again?"

    I nodded, leaning towards him. Our mouths fused together and I felt his arms go around me, brushing my heated skin. I moaned loudly, pressing up against him. Everything was moving so quickly, but I had never felt so good in my life.  The feelings were overwhelming me, and there were more than I could process at once. All I knew was that this felt right, and I knew I had lived too long without being touched. Now I wanted as much as I could take all at once. I wrapped my hands around his neck and kissed him insistently, not wanting the kiss to end.

    He drew away from me eventually, keeping our faces close together. I trembled as I felt his breath on my skin. "This is all happening so fast... I don't believe it..."

    "Again... Bryatt..." I begged him, eyes still shut. "Kiss me again."

    "Oh, gladly." He leaned in to take my lips once, fingers sliding over my back.

    It was crazy. I was in way too deep. We kept up our sweet kisses until we grew too exhausted and fell asleep in one another's arms.

    And for the first time in far too long, I felt alive again.

    Work was easy, too simple for the money really. The girls adored us, and would often give us the chocolates the men  gave them as token gifts. It was good stuff-- they just didn't want it because without their figure, they didn't have a job. They all called me Tsengy, and I enjoyed it. Every time it reminded me of my sister, and that made me feel a little warmer inside.

    I told Bryatt everything. About before and after the fire, every grueling emotion I went through. He was a great listener. If ever I would start to cry, he would just hold me, stoke my hair, and remind me that it was all okay now. I was safe, I had a job, and most of all, I had him.

    In return, Bryatt told me about himself in full. He had never known his parents and had spent  ten miserable years in an orphanage in some far away place called Gongaga before he stole some money and ran away. He managed to survive a few years by running from town to town and doing whatever he could to get by. One a twist of fate he made it to Midgar and landed a job with the Don. He'd been there ever since.

    Bryatt was my best friend in the world. I couldn't even express how much he meant to me. At night, once we had put our books aside, we would crawl into bed and kiss until we were dizzy with one another and had to sleep. I couldn't remember ever being so happy. Maybe because all my memories of before only brought me tears. Bryatt never cried. He said he had nothing be sad about. After all, look where all his decisions had gotten him. I respected his philosophy, but couldn't follow it.

    We were sitting in bed the evening I finished the infamous book. Bryatt was writing something as I sat legs crossed, turning the final pages, enthralled as always. I didn't want it to ever end. But sadly, it did, and I had to put it down. "Ah."

    He looked at me with a devilishly short of grin. "Finished?"

    "...So that's how we..."

    "Yup."

    "...Does it really hurt?" I turned to look at him, looking a little scared.

    Bryatt met my eyes. "I don't know from experience. I've never done it."

    "Oh." My eyes focused down. "Bryatt?"

    "Yes, Tseng?"

    "How did you know you were....you know. How did you know you liked boys instead of girls?" I could feel myself blushing.

    "Hmn." His hand snuck out to capture my chin, and he lifted it up, making his eyes meet mine. "I just sort of realized it along the way, I guess. I've kissed boys and girls, and I just liked kissing boys better."

    I was lost in his eyes and I felt my pulse pick up. "Oh..."

    He leaned closer. "How did *you* know?"

    "You..." I moaned, leaning forward to brush my lips against his. "You... You're beautiful." Again I kissed him, very quickly.

    My friend took me by the shoulders, and I bent my head back to look at him. "You're beautiful, Tseng. Gorgeous. You're gonna have to fight boys off with a stick some day." He smiled as he leaned closer to me. "Or maybe I'll have to do it so you don't run off with someone else."

    A soft moan escaped my lips as he leaned down to kiss me ever so gently, parting the seam of my lips with his tongue and coming inside my mouth. His warm hands drifted up and down my bare sides, making me shudder in his arms.

    Our lips eventually parted, lingering at the last touch.

    I sighed, sad to lose him. "Bryatt...?"

    "Yes?" He nuzzled his cheek against mine.

    There was a long hesitation before I could ask my question. "...........do you think *we* could ever do anything like the guys in that book?"

    "Hmmm..." He seemed thoughtful as his fingers traced over my spine. "When we're ready. When we're ready, I would *love* to do all those things to you, Tseng."

    A happy sigh escaped my lips as I relaxed against him, placing my head upon his shoulder and closing my heavy eye lids. "Thank you."

    "Three months?" I blinked, mouth hanging open. "Has it been that long already?"

    He chuckled, taking me by the hips and smiling down at me. We never showed much affection in public. Bryatt had always said the boss wouldn't like it. "Three months does pass like days when you're deliriously happy, doesn't it?" My friend brought our foreheads together, rubbing his nose against mine. "I bet you've also forgotten today is your own birthday."

    "Oh my gosh!" My birthday had always meant nothing during the past several years. It only meant I could claim I was a year older than I was previously. I tended to forget about it because no one else cared and frankly, I was usually too busy with other concerns. I had spent so many years with my birthday the last thing on my mind, that now that people cared, I still forget. "Why didn't you remind me! I feel like an idiot for not remembering!"

    "Hmn." He gave me the adoring look that was so common lately. "Tsengy, I have a surprise for you later. It's my present for you. I'm sorry it's not store bought, but I think you'll like it."

    "I'd be happy with anything you gave me Bryatt," I told him quite breathlessly.

    We both heard foot steps, and he stepped away from me, tousling my hair. "I'll see you later," he mouthed, blowing me a kiss as he ran off.

    I stood smiling like a dufus until the boss told me to get a move on. As I went back to work, I thought with a new found determination, don't worry, Bryatt. I'll never forget my birthday again.

    Luckily my friend did not keep me waiting long, and when he entered I sat up like a rocket, watching him as he shut the door and turned to me with the same adoring look he had earlier. "Good evening, birthday boy. How are you?"

    "I'm fifteen years old," I told him, "but I'm so giddy I feel like I'm eight."

    "That's all right," he said as he grinned at me, slipping something from his back pocket and poorly hiding it behind his back. "It's your birthday. You can act however you want. Plus, you have a few to make up for." I watched in awe as he kneeled in front of me, and placed a neatly folded piece of paper on my lap, around which was tied one of the girl's ribbons. "I'm sorry this is all I could give you, Tseng. I'd give you everything if I could."

    My breath was caught in my throat as I looked upon the gift. Truly, he didn't realize just how touched I was that this is what he had chosen to give me. "Bryatt... You wrote me something?" He remained quiet, so I slowly untied the ribbon and unfolded the piece of paper, mind contemplating the many possibilities of what it could be.

    I gasped as my eyes absorbed what was written on the page.

    My hands shook as I read it, overwhelmed with emotion. Truly, I never could have wished for a better present in all my life. How someone could find words to write about something as insignificant as myself... It amazed me. He made me sound so important. I didn't know what to say to him. "Bryatt..." My eyes were filling with tears as I looked at him. "I... Thank you. I don't know what to say except thank you. Thank you *so* much. I'm so touched. I've never read anything so beautiful."

    "That's because *you're* beautiful, Tseng." He caressed my cheek and I nuzzled into his warm hand. "You inspired every word of that poem.

    "I'll keep it with me," I promised breathlessly as he rose and leaned over me, gently easing me back on the bed. "Always."

    He took the poem from my hand and placed it aside, entwining his hand with mine as a substitute.

    "But--" I began. A finger silenced me.

    "Tseng..." he whispered, straddling me, and leaning over so his chest was against mine. "Remember when you asked if I would do things to you...like in the book?"

    I felt the urge to cross my legs just at those words. "Yes..."

    Bryatt licked his lips as he hesitated. "Do you still..."

    "Yes!" I cried before he could even finish. In the three months we'd been together, we hadn't been adventurous at all. Our lips had never ventured from the face area, and hands stayed above the waist. I wanted things to be taken further. I wanted to feel Bryatt's skin against mine. I wanted his lips tasting my skin. I wanted him so badly I could hardly contain myself. "Oh, yes!"

    "Hmn." He began stroking my chest, slowly. "I want to do two things with you, Tseng... But I'm not going to be inside you. Not yet."

    "Oh..." I moaned in disappointment. I frowned and ran my fingers through his hair. "But I want it, Bryatt. I want it so badly..."

    "I know..." he sighed, slipping one of his legs between mine. "I want it too... Very much... But we have to take it slow. A little at a time."

    "Whatever you want. Do what you want with me." I panted, hardening further as his leg snuck up between mine.

    "I want what you want," he said, bending to kiss me. "And you must tell me what exactly you want."

    We took it slow, but I could never forget a moment of that night. The feel of his mouth as he devoured every part of me. The feel of his sweat slicked skin on mine. The moans and gasps that escaped our lips. His fingers on my skin and running through my hair. The press of his body against mine, rocking up against me, as the feeling of overwhelming pleasure I experienced for the first time coursed through my veins. Afterwards, I was so tired I could barely move.

    I could only gasp for breath, still shaking from the sensation that had just left me. My eyes were shut, but I held Bryatt tight against me, our faces close enough that I could feel his heavy breathing on my lips.

    "Tseng....?" my friend whispered once he had caught his breath.

    My chest was still heaving. "What?"

    "I...... I think I love you."

    The words didn't register at first, and so I had to reply them over in my head several times before it clicked. Bryatt...loved me? He loved me? My mind reeled. Oh gods.... Bryatt loves me. He loves me. What do I say? That I love him too? I don't know if that's what I truly feel. Love is such strong word, and I never thought of loving anyone but my family. I don't think I even could. I can't forget them....

    My eyes opened and I met Bryatt's eyes, which searched mine as I weakly ran a trembling hand through his hair. "Bryatt."

    "I love you," he repeated, breaking our eye contact as he nuzzled against my neck. His voice was choked, and I wondered if I was hearing things. Was Bryatt.............crying?

    "Bryatt..." I wrapped my hands around his neck and forced our eyes to meet again. The rim around his eyes was wet and he tried in vain to wipe his own tears away. "Oh, Bryatt. Why are you crying?" I pulled his hand away and caressed his cheek.

    "Tseng...." he whispered. "I'm so in love with you. Even if you don't love me back it doesn't matter because I'm so happy loving you." I watched in awe as brushed some hair off my face. "I'm crying because I'm so happy I have you. I...uh...oh gods...I can't even..." He trailed off as he cried harder once again nuzzling against my neck.

    I ran my fingers through his hair. "Bryatt... My family... I... I never even thought about..." I stopped, and licked my lips, and started over. "Oh, Bryatt. You mean so much to me. More than anyone in the world. I don't want to ever be away from you. I just... I just don't know..."

    "I know, I know..." He came away from me a little and once again met my eyes. "I know, my beloved. It's all right."

    My beloved.... I moaned softly at his words. "Oh, Bryatt..."

    He smiled at me, stroked my hair, and said, "happy birthday, my love."

    All I could manage was "thank you".

    I had always told Bryatt everything. But I couldn't tell him the reason why I didn't love him back. Sometimes I felt so bad about not telling him the truth that I would get mad and yell at him when he told me he loved me, or I would shy away from his kisses. My own actions made me want to cry. And although my behavior never seemed to bother Bryatt, it bothered me.

    One evening I cried into my pillows, angry at the world. I was angry at my family was dying. I was angry at Bryatt for loving me. But most of all, I was angry with myself for not being able to deal with my own feelings. What kind of messed up child had I developed into? Why couldn't I move on with my life and leave my family in the background? Wouldn't they want me to be happy? In many ways I was exceedingly happy. But right at the heart, I was miserable because I was clueless.

    "Tseng?"

    Bryatt had entered so quietly that I hadn't even noticed. I hugged the pillow tighter as I looked up at him, my face flushed. "What?"

    He quite calmly came and sat on the end of the bed. "You're crying again," he said simply, looking at his lap instead at me.

    I whimpered, "I'm sorry."

    "Sorry?" Bryatt perked up and looked at me. "Why are you sorry? Don't apologize for crying." My friend sighed at looked down at the bed. "I just wish I knew why."

    For a moment I just observed my friend, looking so forlorn as if my problem was eating him up inside just as much. Neither of us was gaining any comfort on our own. With a small mewl I crawled into his lap, hands going around his neck and bringing my lips to his. "Oh, Bryatt..."

    "My little love..." He sighed, whispering his lips over mine. "It's your family, isn't it?" His hands stroked through my hair. "You don't want to forget them." Bryatt moaned as he barely kissed me again. "Ah... I'm sorry... I never should have said anything..."

    "No, Bryatt." I took his face into my hands and met his eyes with a firm gaze. "I need your love. I *need* it. I just... You're right... About my family."

    "Hm." He shut his eyes a moment. "Tseng?"

    "What?" I nipped gently at his jaw.

    Bryatt's blue eyes opened. "Close your eyes for me."

    Without a question or a protest, I shut my eyes and felt Bryatt move away from me. "Bryatt?"

    "Shush," he hushed me as I felt him kneeling in front of me. I then felt the mark of something on my forehead, and then Bryatt told me to open my eyes again.

    I did. "What did you do?"

    He held up a mirror and I laid eyes on myself.

    Bryatt had drawn a small black dot in the center of my forehead. "You know what that is?"

    My jaw dropped as I breathed the words, "a remembrance dot."

    With a chuckle and a nod my friend confirmed it. "That's right. Just like Zidane had in Remembrance of Tomorrow. He drew a black dot on his forehead each and every morning so he would never forget his father. It may seem stupid, but I thought--"

    "No," I cut him off quietly, mesmerized by my own reflection. "No, Bryatt. It's not stupid. Not stupid at all." I knew Remembrance of Tomorrow  very well. It had always been a favorite of mine, mainly because I could identify with the main character, a boy named Zidane, very well. He had lost his father and often worried about forgetting all his father had done for him. Ultimately he decided to put a mark on his forehead to remind himself and everyone else that he would never forget. Having such a simple mark upon my skin seemed to make me feel at ease, as though a weight had been lifted from my shoulder. "I like it very much. I think I might use it. That way each day I will wake up and know that when I draw this mark on my skin I am remembering my family. And I will never forget them." I tore my eyes from the mirror and looked down at my friend. "Bryatt..." I breathed, my voice choking with emotion. "How can you... How can you be so wonderful?"

    My friend placed the mirror down and smiled up at me. "You bring out the best in me, Tseng. My love."

    I sighed and laid back on the bed. "Come to me," I begged, reaching out for him.

    With a small chuckle Bryatt and crawled a top me. "You want something."

    "You. In me." I pleaded, stroking his face. "Please, Bryatt. Please. Please."

    A frown set upon his lips. "No. I can give you anything but that."

    "Why?" I demanded, whining a little. "Why deny me when I want it so much?"

    He brought his face close to me and whispered. "You don't think I want it? I want to take you so bad it's practically all I think about. But I can't do it. You're only fifteen, Tseng, whether you act it or not. I don't think you're ready for that kind of thing yet.  This is your virginity we're talking about, love. I don't want you to make a mistake."

    "I know I'm not making a mistake, Bryatt!" I wriggled in frustration. "Don't deny me!" I couldn't keep my eyes from tearing. "I thought you loved me."

    Bryatt seized my face and held it in trembling hands as he spoke in a harsh whisper against my lips. "Don't you see? It's because I love you that I can't do it! I love you more than I can possibly express. All I want is you. All I think about is you. All day, every day for the rest of my life I just want to be with you and make you happy. But I don't think that if we have sex that's really going to make you happy. I want your first time to be with someone you love, Tseng, and you know, and I know, that you don't really love me. Not like I love you. Not yet."

    What could I do? I didn't love Bryatt. I really didn't. Even though I never wanted to be away from him, I really didn't feel for him like he did for me.

    And it killed me.

    I cried again.

    "No... No..." he said softly, smoothing hair back from my face. "Tsengy, I love you, please, don't feel badly. I want you to be happy. Happy..."

    "I think I need to be left alone," I muttered, sliding away from him and wiping away my tears as I headed for the door.

    "I'll do anything else for you, love. Anything."

    I turned back as I reached the door, tears stinging in my eyes. "Then good *god*, Bryatt." My eyes pleaded with him. "Make me love you."

    The door slammed shut as I left my friend alone.

    I walked, wondering why I couldn't love the only person I had in the world. Was there something wrong with me?

    With an unhappy sigh I leaned against the back wall, running a hand through my hair.

    "You lookin' to be alone too?"

    I raised my head and noticed I had a companion in the shadows.

    She stepped out into the moonlight, smoke from her cigarette making a halo around her head.

    "Hello, Lita." She was blonde, natural, with large green eyes and clad in a red slip dress. One of the more popular girls among customers, I was surprised to see her not working.

    "What brings you out here, Tsengy?" She flicked the lsat ashes of her cigarette into the wind and then dropped it into the dirt. "Kinda, late, isn't it?"

    I just shrugged, my foot tracing patterns in the soil.

    She frowned and approached me. "You look sad. Wanna massage?"

    Before I could answer, her hands were on my shoulders, digging into my tight muscles. A soft moan of surprise escaped my throat, and I leaned into her.

    "What's on your mind?"

    "N-nothing," I gasped, intimidated and even a bit scared by how her hands massaged my lower back. "Just getting some air."

    Her hands slipped across my stomach and under my shirt. I cried out, muscles freezing. My mind was a blank and I wondered why her hands were on me.

    "You're fifteen now, aren't you?" her breath was husky in my ear, and my breathing picked up.

    "Uh........yes......" I choked out, stuck in place. I was a talking statue, scared of her next move. Why would someone like her want to waste her time on a nobody like me? Did I even like what she was doing? Why couldn't I pull away?

    Her fingers brushed me intimately and I gasped, head falling back. The only other person to touch me like that had been Bryatt, and it had felt so much better with his hands on me.

    "Hm." She seemed pleased with herself. "Like that?" She kept up her movements.

    I was breaking out into a sweat as I choked out, "why?"

    "Because," she whispered, biting gently at my neck as she jerked me off. "We all need to relieve a little frustration once in awhile."

    "Ugh.... Frustration?" I moaned, helpless.

    "Give in," she whispered, voice husky in my ear. "Come, Tseng. Come for me."

    And I did.

    But I felt defeated.

    I didn't dare to tell Bryatt. Every night I would crawl into bed, curl myself into a ball and shudder whenever he touched me. If he noticed my change in behavior he never said a word. Even his hands on me felt wrong. The world around me had shattered, and I was too weak to change it and too scared to speak up. All I wanted to do was cry, and often, that's what I did.

    I was living in fear once again, wondering it my next 'encounter' was lurking around the corner. I was jittery and insecure. Deep in my heart I only wanted out. To be free of it. And to think I was once so happy here. How fast it had all faded. I began to wonder if I would ever find everlasting happiness. My soul cried out to take refuge in Bryatt's comforting arms, but it would only burden him. After all I was still unable to love him, despite his strong feelings for me.

    Every day drained me physically and mentally. My mind was exhausted from worry and my body was weak from over stimulation. One night I ended early, dragging my weary body back to our room. I only made it just inside the door before I collapsed, falling into a deep sleep.

    It was a long time before I woke again. Wearily my eyes flickered open, adjusting to my surroundings. I found I was on our bed, and within seconds Bryatt was leaning over me, a look of concern in his eyes, but a stern demeanor on his lips. My eyes widened, but I said nothing.

    "What's wrong with you?" he demanded.

    I played dumb. "What?"

    "You know what," he hissed at me. "I'm not letting it go anymore. Every night you come back here exhausted, and you act as though you're fine, but you tremble when I touch you. What happened to you, Tseng? It's killing me!" He wiped a tear from his eye. "Tseng.... Please. I want to help you."

    He was crying. Crying over me. I could never stand to see Bryatt in pain. "....It's the girls." I swallowed. "They keep....*touching* me."

    My friend's eyes widened considerably and he held my shoulders. "Tseng, are you telling me you've been taken advantage of? Every day?"

    I nodded silently.

    "Oh, shit," he cursed. "Tseng! how could you let this happen? Oh, I should have warned you, but I thought you'd fight them off. They're *whores*, Tseng. They're taken advantage of by men. So they take out their frustrations on younger guys, like us, because they think we won't fight back and it give them a power trip. But my *god*!" He held his head in his hands. "I should have told you! It's all my fault."

    "Bryatt," I whispered, drawing him close to me, allowing him to cry into my shoulder. "It's not your fault. I'm weak... I couldn't fight them off...."

    "My little love," he purred, nuzzling my neck and drawing a sigh from me. "Don't keep anything from me. I love you. I love you, Tseng."

    "....I'm scared, Bryatt. I don't like it here anymore. I...I'm trapped. There's nothing left to do but run again." My fingers wandered through his hair. "And I don't want to do it alone."

    Bryatt looked me straight in the eyes. "Tseng, what do you want from me?"

    "Ah..." I went to speak, but couldn't. Instead I closed my mouth and turned away.

    "Love..." he whispered, leaning towards me and covering the side of my face with light kisses. "I'll give you anything." He paused, took my face in his hands and whispered against my lips, "And I mean *anything*."

    A loud moan escaped my lips. He would do it. Bryatt was willing to make love to me if that's what I wanted.

    "I want to make you happy, Tseng," he continued. "And whatever will make you happy..."

    I was just about to tell him yes. That I wanted it, I wanted him, and there wasn't a doubt in my mind. Then I met his eyes, and I saw he was desperate. Bryatt was willing to do anything I wanted, as long as I was happy, even if it wasn't what he wanted. As I looked into his eyes I realized I could never make him do anything he was against. I knew Bryatt did not want to make love to me when I did not love him. "No," I whispered, separating myself from him. Lifting my shirt over my head, I slipped my arms around his neck and began sucking at his neck. "Bryatt," I whispered between kisses, "I won't make you do anything you don't want to." I took his lips in mine, slowly, lingering. "Bryatt, just...." I kissed him again. "Just be intimate with me again, just like we used to be."

    Bryatt wrapped his arms around my shoulders and leaned in, brushing his lips against my forehead. "My little love..." he gently lowered me onto my back, running a hand through my hair.

    "Just tell me you love me, Bryatt," I gasped, trembling a little as his fingers caressed my skin. "Over and over and over again."

    "Yes...." he assured me with a low whisper. "It's all right, Tseng. It's just me. I love you. You know I do. So much."

    Bryatt held me tightly in his arms, reassuring me, kissing me, his body pressed to mine. And I was all right. It felt so right with Bryatt, as it always had.

    He ran a hand through my hair as I snuggled against the warmth of his body, feeling safe for the first time in too long. But I wouldn't last and I knew the second I stepped outside that door I would go right back to being terrified and insecure again. I trembled, holding him closer as I pleaded, "don't let me go, Bryatt."

    His arms tightened around me and he promised, "no, love, I'll hold you as long as you want."

    "Bryatt?" my voice was very quiet.

    "What?" he gently held my head against his chest.

    "....take me away from here."

    He loosened his arms around me.

    Propping myself up on one elbow to look at him, I said, "please, Bryatt. We can do better than this. I need to get away from here." I laced my fingers with his. "And I need to be with you."

    Bryatt looked at me, his blue eyes holding more seriousness than I had ever seen in my life. "If it will make you happy, I will do anything in my power to get us a new life."

    Holding his hand tighter, I pressed my body more tightly against his. "And I'll be with you, Bryatt, right? Forever? You'll take me away from Midgar and hold me every night and kiss me every morning? You'll write me poetry on my birthday and read to me? And love me, always? And keep me by your side? Forever and ever and ever, Bryatt?" I smiled.

    "Yes," he assured me. "Yes, Tseng. Anything you want. We'll always be together, as long as you want us to be. And that can be forever. As long as you want."

    "How will we get out of here?" I asked, eyes blinking closed.

    "I'll think of something," I was assured as I drifted off to sleep, the fell of his hand warm in mine.

    And as I drifted off to sleep, I couldn't help but whisper, "I love you."

    The last thing I heard before I left the world to sleep was Bryatt's reply of, "no you don't."

    Two days. That's how long before we were going to leave Midgar and the whoring business behind us. I was worried about money and the details, but he assured me not to worry. He had it covered, and soon I would be safe.

    Bryatt stayed by my side the entire day, protecting me. It was a great comfort, but a bit embarrassing as well. He fawned over my like a child, running his fingers through my hair and glancing at me with that loving look that warmed me inside.

    I took the trash out back with a sigh, pausing to wipe my brow before turning to go back inside.

    "Who's that handsome boy?"

    I jumped, turning as my breath picked up. "Bryatt!" Nervous laughter escaped my lips. "You scared me! I thought Scotch sent you to the store."

    "Forget it." He pinned me against the wall, a hand on either side of me. "I can't keep my mind on anything..." He leaned towards me, breath whispering on my skin. "I just keep imagining being with you forever, and it just makes me so impossibly happy and complete." Bryatt's lips barely touched my cheek. "I've never had anyone so close to me like this. Not anyone."

    With a moan I turned my head so our lips could touch. "I'm yours. I owe you so much."

    And he kissed me. Gently at first, but he quickly deepened it as I moaned, pressing against him as he gripped my waist. I embraced him tightly as I felt his fingers creep under my shirt and brush my skin. It was risky to show such affection at work and we both knew it. Yet, we couldn't seem to keep our hands off one another. Not when we knew we could relive this over and over and over again if we wished it. Bryatt's long fingers explored upwards, our mouths still fused together. I couldn't stop moaning at every stroke of his fingers and tongues. It was such a soothing moment, as if time just stopped.

    "Aw... Isn't that cute."

    Our lips were parted, and we both turned to see who had discovered us.

    Lita. I gasped and buried my head in my friend's shoulder, unable to look upon her with shuddering.

    Bryatt held me tighter. "Yes?"

    "Heh. I find it a little ironic. Two gay guys working in a whore house?" I heard her laugh. "Too funny."

     "Yeah. Ha," Bryatt said so dryly that I couldn't help smiling. "Beat it."

    "Huh." She had an arrogance about her voice that just made me want to hit her. "Maybe I should tell the boss then."

    "No!"

    The urgency of Bryatt's voice startled me and I had to look up.

    Lita laughed. "Thinking twice, are you?"

    "Don't do it." His eyes held that seriousness he had so often displayed lately. "Lita, please."

    "Relax." Her eyes set upon me and I cuddled closer to Bryatt, her gaze cutting me like glass. "Just hand over your little lover for a few minutes, and my lips are sealed."

    Was she nuts?! "No!" I cried out, tears in my eyes at the very thought. "Leave me alone."

    "Absolutely not," my friend said firmly. "I wouldn't consider it."

    "You know the boss hates fags, Bryatt," she spoke harshly. "He'll fire you and throw you out on the street without a dime. Bet you never want to live through that again, do you?"

    I tried to look at Bryatt, but he was looking straight ahead. He had always told me the boss wouldn't like it, not that we would get fired over it.

    "Lita. You can't do this." He sounded ten years older than his years.

    "Tough world," she replied, flipping her hair over a bony shoulder. "Dog eat dog ya know."

    "You blood sucking bitch," Bryatt seethed, the harshness of his words distracting a gasp from me. "Go ahead. Tell him. Watch me give a shit."

    She shrugged and turned. "Suit yourself. Nice knowin' ya." With a small wave she let a good-bye to me roll of her tongue, and together we watched her leave.

    "Bryatt!" I pushed him away from me. "You didn't tell me that he was going to fire us if he found out!"

    "I didn't want to scare you!" He explained. "Tseng--"

    Crossing my arms I glared at him. "You keep a lot from me."

    "I'm only trying to protect you!"

    "I'm not a child, Bryatt!" I never raised my voice with him. Ever. But I was still glaring. "I live on the street for five years! I'm not stupid and I can take care of myself!"

    "Oh yeah?" He countered, glaring back. "Then why are you so weak? Why do you put up with things you don't have to?"

    My fist shook with anger. "Fuck you," I snapped, using words I never would have dared to before.

    I saw tears in his eyes as he returned with two words that shot right to my heart. "You wish."

    My chin trembled, and I couldn't hold back my tears. As I broke down, I couldn't even manage a reply.

    "No... No, I didn't mean it." I heard him approach me, but Bryatt didn't touch me. "Tseng... I didn't mean it... I know you're not a child. I know. It's just..." He sighed in exasperation. "God dammit, I love you. And I don't want to see anything happen to you. That's why I try and protect you. But I'm not doing a very good job of it, am I."

    "I don't need anyone to protect me," I replied, voice shaking. "I only want someone to love me. From now on I'm going to take care of myself."

    "I love you, sweetheart. And I promise not to treat you like a child anymore." He cupped my face in his hands and brought his eyes to mine. "We have to get out of here. Now."

    "Now?"

    Bryatt nodded. "Go to our room and get everything. I've gotta do something else first. I'll meet you out front."

    "All right," I indicated yes with my head.

    "Go," he told me, heading away. "Hurry."

    And I did. I ran with all my might.

   And then it all happened so fast.

    "TSENG!" Bryatt was running towards me at top speed, and my eyes widened as I noticed he was gripping a gun with his left hand. "RUN!"

    My mind froze and I couldn't react until Bryatt flew past me screaming "RUN! RUN!"

    And I ran, pumping my arms so I could catch up with him. I've always been fast. It's how I survived. "Why are you running!?" I yelled. "And why the gun?!"

    "Just run!"

    But I couldn't. I slowed a little, turning back, nearly tripping over my own two feet in shock as I saw one of the Don's biggest men coming after us, a gun in his own hand. What had Bryatt done? "Bryatt!" As I went to turn around I slipped on my untied shoelace and crashed to the ground, using my hands to break my fall. I gravel ripped up my hands and burned. I cried out his name again.

    "Tseng!!!!"

    A shot rang out, but I couldn't even see anything as Bryatt dove on top of me, pushing me aside. He then tumbled, ending up a few feet away from me, flat on his back, the gun just out of his grip.

    The world stopped as I noticed there was a large spot of blood spreading on his chest.

    Bryatt's been shot. Shot right in the chest. That's why he dove on top of me... That man must have aimed at me when I fell. But Bryatt let them shoot him instead. No! Why must he do this!!! Bryatt!

    It must have been a moment, but it was an eternity in my mind. I wouldn't let them hurt him anymore. With a growl and snatched up the fallen gun and turned to our pursuer. The firearm was heavy in my hand, but at that moment it felt so natural, as though I had been using one for years. Jaw clenched, and eyes narrowed, I pointed the weapon at the man who had shot my only friend in the world, and I fired. I had never been focused as I let out every bullet the firearm contained, rabid with anger. It was revenge not only for Bryatt, but all those times I was weak. Suddenly it was as if another personality came over me. One that was hardened, unaffected, and merciless. My target dropped to the ground, and lay still. He was dead.

    Then as suddenly as it had come upon me, it was all gone. My hands shook so badly I could no longer hold the gun. It fell back to the ground, clattering at my feet. It finally sunk in that I had just killed a man, and I didn't know what to think.

    "Tseng..." Bryatt croaked from behind me. I turned, remembering him, and rushed to his side. The blood was everywhere, pouring out of his chest. He was pale and glassy eyed. It was so real it made me sick, and yet it seemed an unwanted dream.

    "Bryatt..." I held his shaking hand in mine as my eyes teared. "Why?"

    There were tears in his eyes as well. "I'm....I'm sorry, Tseng. I'm sorry that I had to protect you... One...last...time." His breathing was slowing down.

    "No..." I shook my head frantically as tears flowed over my cheeks. "No, Bryatt. You're not going to die. You're not. You can't. I need you. I can't lose everything again! I just can't!!!" I doubled over, sobbing into him.

    "Love...." he spoke softly, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. "I deserve it. I stole money from the Don. That's... That's why they came after me. I thought... I thought we could use it to get out of Midgar... Ah!" He cried out in pain, grabbing at his chest. "Tseng... Tseng..."

    "What?" I stroked his face. "What?"

    "....Promise me you'll never steal."

    "No, no," I swore. "Never."

    "And don't... And don't cry over me. I know you will. But don't. Go on. Be happy... Be happy, just like I always wanted you to be."

    "But, Bryatt, how... How can I... Without you, how can I--"

    "Tseng..." he cut me off gently and I listened intently. "You will be happy. I know you will. Someday. Even if it is far off. You'll find someone you do love, and you'll be happy with them... Just as... Just as I was happy with you..."

    I couldn't even respond. I just cried.

    "I love you," he whispered, voice growing fainter. "Always. Remember....that."

    With shaking fingers I took his poem from my pocket, unfolding the already well worn page. "Look, Bryatt. Your poem. I said I would keep it with me, remember? And I will, always. I won't forget you. Not ever." I held his hand tighter. "Not ever!" With those words my voice cracked, and I lost it again.

    "Sorry... Sorry...that it couldn't be forever." He met my eyes.

    "Bryatt, no," I pleaded, taking his shoulders as if I could pass some of my life into him. "Bryatt!! BRYATT!" I shook him, begging with him, pleading with him with all my might.

    It was no use. My friend was limp in my arms.

    Bryatt, my last hope. My world. My life. Was dead.

    I did the only thing I could. I bent over his body and cradled him, sobbing and wondering why, just why so many things had gone wrong so suddenly.

    They say it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. But I never loved Bryatt. I only lost. And it seemed as though that's all I could do.

    Instead the gave me a sedative, and I don't remember what happened after that. I must have fallen asleep or passed out or something, because the next thing I remember I was laying down in a cold, unfamiliar room. I sat up like a shot, frantically looking around. Where the hell was I?

    There were two men seated at a table, and they looked up when I stirred.

    "Kid's up," said one, getting to his feet.

    "Hey there," said the other. "Don't panic, kid. Everything's all right. You're in Shinra Headquarters. You're safe now. No one will hurt you."

    "Where's my friend?" I asked in a small voice, suddenly feeling so young.

    "We have his body. We're going to bury it," said the first one.

    I was shocked. Shinra was going to bury a no one shot down in the streets like Bryatt? "Thank you," I said in shock.

    "I'm Caljunain Vash," the second one spoke up, "and this is my subordinate, Nicholas Ewan. We're members of the Shinra Manufacturing Department in Administrative Research, otherwise known as, the Turks."

    The Turks. I froze. I had heard of them before, neither in a favorable or negative light.

    Mr. Ewan came to sit besides me. "Tseng Tyutyuik. Your parents died in a fire before you could turn eleven, and you are fifteen now. You were homeless until you began working for Don Corneo. Your friend, Bryatt Porter, was shot and killed by one of the Don's men after robbing him of 243 Gil. That man is now also deceased, shot four times, right in the chest."

    I blinked in amazement. "How... How did you know all that?"

    "There is little we don't know," came the reply.

    "Tseng," Mr. Vash spoke up, "what we wish to know is, who shot that man? Was it you, or was it Bryatt?"

    Great. They're going to throw me in jail. I suppose I deserve it. "I did it," I admitted quietly, hanging my head. "I killed him."

    A silence followed.

     "Did you ever shoot off a gun before?"

    I shook my head. "Never."

    Another silence. I kept my head down.

    "Tseng, look up," I was ordered. I did.

    "Where have you to go from here?"

    "Nowhere."

    "You have demonstrated skills that would qualify you as a member of the Turks, shall you wish to accept the position. It will not be easy. Turks must train hard, and there are many rules for us to abide by. You must be willing to pledge your life and loyalty to Shinra Inc., and do whatever is asked of you."

    Mr. Ewan added, "the company will take care of you. It will provide you with everything you could possibly want. This is your chance to have a stable life, Tseng. You'll never have to worry about being out on the street again."

    To think the Don's offer had once seemed too good to be true. Everything I could possibly want? Never have to worry about being on the street again? I didn't want much out of life, my demands were simple. I just wanted to be safe and happy, two things Bryatt had always wanted for me. I couldn't let him down and pass up this offer. I was ready to pledge my life to anyone who saved me for one more day out on the street. I would gladly get down on my knees and worship Shinra Inc. for saving my life.

    "What do you think?" Mr. Vash met my eyes. "Will you join us, Tseng? Will you be a Turk?"

    My black eyes were fixed on his, and the same cold, unemotional feeling that had came over me back when the weapon was in my hand transformed me again. "Yes," I replied smoothly. "I will be a Turk. I will serve Shinra Inc. And I will do whatever is asked of me. Just thank you. Thank you for saving me."

    I signed away my life to Shinra. I would have signed it away to the devil himself. I had to be happy. And I had to be safe.

    One last breath...

    Living...